Simple Doses

Reconnected

2010-10-10T18:01:00.003+08:00

I've finally plucked the courage to write to T after watching Eat, Pray, Love. The message in the movie hit straight into my core and realized that it's worth to take a step back and evaluate my situation. I cried buckets watching the character developed from a lady laced with confusion about her life and finding true love by crossing over in taking chances with her new lover. Nonetheless, landing new love aside, the most powerful message in much relation to me is about forgiveness and finding peace within myself.

I pondered much about my situation after watching the movie and precipitated my intention to write to T - something I had wanted to do a couple of months ago. I hesitated back then simply because I didn't know what to expect. I had too much spinning in my mind but after stepping out from the movie, I knew it's time to lift the rocks off my chest and lifted it did.

I opted for the traditional way of posting a hand written letter instead of e-mail. Call me sentimental but somehow, I could relate with my feelings better at that time with a pen and paper. I just let the words flow from my heart. What's important is that I wanted to convey my message of forgiveness to T and ask for T's in return. I took a humble step back to ask for forgiveness for shutting T off immediately after that so called incident. The content was surreal. I chose to look at things from a positive perspective and laid out my feelings about our relationship which should not have started in the first place. We both were equally impulsive and let our hearts ruled and not our heads. Well, I guess it's always the case when cupid strikes. The important thing is - I've moved on after 5 months plus. Considering the pain I went through, I did it though not easy. Our relationship was not meant to be. We jumped into too swiftly. We both made a mistake but a mistake not worth holding on to. Forgiveness is the antidote to a broken heart.

The moment I slipped the letter into the mailbox, there's no turning back and I told myself not to expect anything. My heart felt light for the first time after 5 months. Then T responded. We've forgiven each other and reconnected as friends again. My heart became lighter even more, knowing that I've bridged the gap with a proper closure to that ugly chapter.

There are things we cannot always explain. All I know is that a break-up does not necessary root from a party alone. As in this case, after much evaluation - I admitted that I held on to this relationship too tightly. I learned that sufficient room is vital in nourishing a good relationship. Then again, if there's too much room in between 2 individuals, cracks are bound to emerge. Moderation is the key here.

Well then, I suppose I took the journey too seriously being a novice in relationships. Silly me. Nonetheless, it's the past now. What matters most is that I will walk on with a smile of my face, knowing that life has lots more to offer than just heartbreaks and bitterness.

Healing Better

2010-06-12T21:48:00.003+08:00

My healing process is approaching the realization stage. Thanks to my colleague who opened up my heart to look at the better part of my relationship with T. I have ceased hating T. There's nothing left for me to hate anymore. I've gone through the bitterness of anger and hatred. I've been going through questions after questions about T. It stops here. The toxic feeling was not going to help my healing process and neither will my questions. Everyone of us have our very own flaws and T is not an exception. A part of me is glad that I've called off the relationship as T's lifestyle was nowhere near my cup of tea and I do not see myself walking down the road, embracing all of T's traits and habits. Love was blind and indeed it was. I could not see all the fatal signs and I fell straight into the pit hole. Then again, it's all over. My colleague had recently given me a pep talk and urged me to look at the better side of T. Well, I'm absolutely sure T is not an entirely bad person. Just that our relationship was never meant to be. It should not have started in the first place. Well then, it's the past. I'm certainly moving on now. I've forgiven T for tearing my heart apart.

Looking back, I do believe we shared a special relationship. I choose to keep the good memories we shared together. After all, I'm quite certain T did feel the closeness we shared despite the bitter ending. Whatever the situation, we all have to move on. There is no point in pondering the whys and hows of things. It's all gone now and we can never turn back the clock. No matter how regretful I feel about starting the relationship, I believe all such feelings and regrets do not matter anymore. T and I have our own seperate lives now. We've parted ways and moving on to better days ahead.

I can only wish T the best.

Breakup

2010-05-15T22:45:00.004+08:00

It's been more than 4 months since my last entry. I seriously do not know how to begin. The last 4 months have been both sweet and bitter to me as far as my personal relationship is concerned. I still remember how my feet were floating in the air while penning down words dripping with honey about my new found love. My life has changed drastically from that fateful evening at Dome. after spilling my feelings to T. For the first time in my life, I fell in love....or so I thought....

Everything was exceptionally beautiful to me...sharing precious time with T, from going to the movies, dinners, working out at the gym and spending quality time at my partner's home, doing nothing - just the two of us enjoying each others company. Everyone said that I've changed - into a better person. Most evident sign - I was less angry. Yes, the power of love, intimacy and passion.

Our relationship rocketed off to a fabulous start and our feelings molded even further with a couple of wonderful nights spent in Penang. It was then that had my first intimate moments with T. I can still remember - the feeling was awesome. I never knew that falling in love can be so wonderful. It heals all anger and disappointment. The troubles at work didn't seem to matter and every Monday felt like a Friday. I must admit, I've never felt so happy in my life. Before cupid struck her arrow straight into my tender heart, my focus has always been work, work and more work. It was different with T. For the first time, I knew the meaning of spending, beautiful moments with the love of my life.

I thought I had found someone whom I could spend the rest of my life with. I was a fool. After 3 months of courtship, our relationship started to spiral downwards to pits of darkness. The elements in our relationship's foundation started to crack. I could not feel the security from T in committing to our partnership. We had approached the matter numerous times but the fact that T would not be able to change the factors which made it difficult for us to seal in long term commitment, drove me to call off it off. There's not a single night I would feel assured of the security of our relationship. T's charm and attractiveness have magnetized many suitors whenever T went. There's no blame game here but the stress was mounting everyday on my part. I tried to hold on and did everything I could to save the relationship. However, a lopsided effort in a partnership is not what I was looking for.

Till today, I can still remember the pain. My heart was peeling bit by bit that evening as I confided in my colleague. I got drunk and cried my heart out the entire night. I've never wept so much and so intensely in my life. I was extremely devastated. I wished I could just end my life without having to go through the pain. A burning spear had thrust through my heart. For weeks, my heart bled for T. Tears continued to flow. The hurt and pain would not go away. I've almost forgotten how many times I broke down. My work was badly affected. I could not concentrate. There were times when I almost got into traffic accidents when my mind went wandering away while driving.

While a little corner in my heart longed to see T again but my logic self had to constantly slap me back into reality that T was seemingly playing with my feelings. Prior to the breakup, I've found out that T was not as honest as I thought T would be. T had lied to me on something that was very profound to me. As I went along healing my broken heart, secret pasts about T began to emerge. I could not accept such sordid revelations at first. Nonetheless, as I looked back on certain times when the signals were clear, I could not deny the fact that T was not entirely honest with me. I was so blinded by love that I could not see the signs. My friends told me that T did not deserve my love and trust. T was looking for more than just love , tender care and some silly romance. Plainly speaking, I could not give what T wanted. T was just looking for companionship. I realized that that T was not ready to settle down for a simple, loving relationship.

It's been 2 weeks since we broke up and occasionally, I would feel the pain. The hurt will stay for a while and will certainly take time for my wound to heal. I still feel angry and frustrated at T but I know such feelings do not matter anymore. The way T responded to my breakup message is already evident that T was never serious in the relationship. I was a total fool and stupid to have given my all attention to T. I seriously do not wish to add anymore toxin to this already bitter episode but one thing for sure, it would be difficult for me to accept T back into my life as a friend. I will only choose to retain bits of memories of T when we first started off as good friends and colleagues.

Sometimes, I just wished I could turn back the clock - never to have agreed to meet up with T for latte at Dome on that fateful night.

Life As It Is

2010-01-17T16:03:00.002+08:00

What is going through your mind at this very moment? What are you doing? Where are you in time and space? Are you sleeping, watching TV, surfing the net or merely having some precious, much needed "Me" time on this beautiful Sunday?

Time can be a blessing and a curse. It leaves no room for mistake. Once a second is gone, it's gone - forever and becomes as absolute history. Though your activities may be insignificant during that very second but one thing for sure, you can never relive that very moment again in your entire life. It's an absolute goner. So how are you treasuring every second that comes to you and then whisked without hesitation? I for one have been a victim of time and space. All my life I have been chasing after time. I blame it on the intensity of living in a world of rat race. Waking up in the morning, hardly greeting the beauty of sunrise, grab a quick breakkie, working out my calf in early morning traffic, look for a regular parking spot at the office block, clock in, make my way to the oh-so dreaded cubicle, set up my notebook, log in and then off to the pantry to brew some good old fashion coffee, chat a little with colleagues, greet each other and then back to my so called cosy cubicle....what's to follow, more dreaded emails to reply.

I've particularly enjoyed the past one week - 2 working days and the rest were all made up of trainings and a sales conference. The climate of my work week is of course the historical and memorable moments spent over a cup of latte. I can never forget that fateful evening. In a way it has changed the course of my life. I can sense that things have changed a bit after that. I'm not sure how that someone would react come Monday. Awkward? I have absolutely no idea. I just do not wish to dwell into it and further complicate things. Perhaps I have matured over the years. Perhaps I'm just too tired to juggle such feelings and ponder on uncertainties. Events are never absolute in life. As we grow an inch taller or as in my case, another strand of grey hair, things and circumstances around us evolve. At most times, we have absolutely no control over our lives. There's ecstasy at one moment and then you find yourself submerged into pitch black darkness of hopelessness and weariness. Have you ever felt this way before?

I have updated by blog with plenty of entries about my work, my struggles and at times, my joy. Looking back at these entries and after months of life contemplation, I still find myself in the same spot where I first started. Well, there's no doubt I've made some progress over the past 12 months after taken up my new assignment but deep down, I still feel something is missing. What pulls me back from going forward? Fear? Fear paralyzes. It does and an indeed fantastic job it has done to me. Can I leave everything behind me and move towards a new life? No more rat race, no more horrible traffics and certainly no more weighing the consequences of my actions?

Have you ever pondered about life like I did in less than 10 minutes ago when I decided to flip opened my notebook and started typing like a maniac after a hard earned afternoon siesta? I woke up from a dreamland and now am back to reality. In less than 16 hours, I will be greeting the sunrise once again and sure do hope to clock in for work with a different point of view this time round. After all, life is short. It is up to me to make it interesting, no?

Rock Off My Chest, Finally

2010-01-16T21:37:00.009+08:00

It's been awfully too long since my last entry. Guess it's high time to pump in an entry to celebrate a brand new handsome year and what a subject to start off with - the big, notorious L - Love. Yeah, you read it right. I suppose this entry is by far the boldest to date.

Have you ever been in love, or at least secretly harboring deep, mushy feeling for someone whom you've been in contact with almost everyday of your waking hours? Well, you're reading my feeling here. For the past 2 months, I've been struggling with a secret crush on this friend of mine. Due to certain circumstances, I could not pluck out the courage to disclose my feeling for this someone. All forms of fears clouded my mind and hence, the long, painful hesitation. Fear of rejection, fear of derailing our friendship etc. Although we have only gotten to know each other within these 2 months, the chemistry between us has been awesome and I feel as if I've known this someone for a long time. The buttons clicked and the rest as they say, is history or so I thought. I'm pretty sure when one is in love, one looks forward to that very day in bumping into the target once more. To be honest, the days when I dragged my feet to work no longer exist. As a matter of fact, I look forward to Mondays! I now, I know....love does make one look like a silly potatoe and even an awful piece of overcooked steak can taste like Kobe beef when you get wrapped up in that lovey dovey feeling. I've always been a hopeless romantic and a daydreamer as well. So when this someone came into my life, my life goes spiraling down to a bottomless pit of lovey dovey feeling every hour, every second of my breathing, living self. There's one issue...It's not as simple as cooking a pot of ABC soup as far as this subject is concerned, at least for me. It's pretty complicated, you see.

Keeping my feelings under the sheets have been extremely painful for me and I had no courage to disclose after weighing the various consequences. I decided to let it be until yesterday. It all started with a normal chatty conversation over a cup of our favorite latte and then that someone popped out a question. I almost fell off my chair but I knew I had to be honest with myself or at least do some justice to my feelings. I dug deep into revealing my feelings. As I went along in nervously peeling off my feelings bit by bit, my heart went thumping and beating vigorously away. I felt like I've just emerged from a 3 hour-long body combat class with muay thai tracks all the way. I could feel the surge of blood through my veins and cold sweat started running down my back. Nonetheless, I stayed calm and composed. I expressed all I could. Astounding! I could not believe that I had such courage. At the end of the my last word. We kept quiet for awhile. It was an extremely awkward silence. I could have sworn the cold, chilling silence lasted for more than 10 minutes. Our eyes did not meet. There's no doubt a lot of stuffs were playing through our minds at that moment. Then that someone broke the silence - neither reject nor accept and would prefer to let it flow. Let's see where it takes us. Just as I expected. Honestly, it would have been a different reaction had that someone accepted to move headlong on the spot but in a way, it would have been much better to just let it flow and enjoy the process, rather than immediately stamp the verdict due to the various complications that would arise had we decided to screw the surroundings, hold hands and skip into a relationship. That is human - we are far more complicated creatures than you would have thought. We weigh the circumstances all too much when the answer is just right in front of us. Don't you agree?

That someone has been sensing something amissed as far as my feelings were concerned and that someone just wanted me to come clean face to face. I was not expecting any direct acceptance on the spot as I knew such relationships are a complicated kind. Nonetheless, a part of me felt relieved that no direct rejection was thrust flat at my face. I suppose the feeling was reciprocal. This someone has been repeatedly flirting with me. There's a thin line between a serious flirt and a playful one. I had to know so I asked. This someone liked me a lot in a "strange way". Hence, the flirt. What "strange way"? I have no idea. I didn't want to dig deeper. Occasionally, the flirting words and actions appeared pretty serious. The feeling was surreal.

After that fateful chat, I drove home smiling all the way. Not only had I gotten the rock off my chest but the confession has proven that I could handle a situation which I 've not given myself enough room to embrace. The answer, though could be sitting on a grey area but I believe the fairytale has just begun. If it does not, I know that I've took the first step towards maturity this year. Even if we ended up with different partners along the way, I believe we would be happy for each other. I leave it to fate - be it friendship or potential partnership.

Looking Back...11 Months Ago...

2009-11-21T22:42:00.004+08:00

2009 is soon coming to a close and what a year it has been for me. Feels like the year has just flashed before me in seconds. I still remember the day I stepped into 2009 11 months ago...I was still relatively new at my present company, struggling to put the pieces together I grappled like a mad bunny to fit in and embrace the new culture, new products, new corporate life. Looking back, I just feel like I've walked a thousand miles as I managed the lowest points in my life in wrestling the bitter sweetness of stress which comes along with my new job. Not sure if it's the right place for me to walk the remaining years in my corporate journey, I pressed on. I remember shedding tears and confiding in God endlessly. Some days, darkness just decended upon me, expecially on Monday mornings - dragging my ass from my bed with a long face. Of course, there were times when I enjoyed the limelight thrust upon me following some big deals and boy, it was exhilirating to bask in such wonderful times. Nonetheless, good things and times never lingered for long. Before I know it, darkness came knocking on my door again. It's called the yo-yo effect. This, I have embraced the fact that life is filled with bumps. Once you're up, you go rolling down again. That's life.

Now that I've gone through episodes of 2009's bitter sweetness, I guess it's high time that I take on the challenges that stand before me in 2010 with open arms. No point fighting. I can only put my trust in God who is my personal GPS in life - managing my directions for better living.

Traditional Union Challenged

2009-10-04T16:53:00.004+08:00

I've just realized how inactive I've been in recent months...not a single entry in September! Perhaps work just got in the way. My daily workload has been increasingly creeping into my social life, more so now that my management has decided that I should be checking my mails on the go by ever so generously sponsoring me a merry Berry. Well then, whilst is it ironically handy to have a mobile mail buckled up in my handbag so that I can attend to emergency cases, I still need to master the art of controlling the morbid urge to check my mails on weekends. Well, I'm getting there...keeping fingers crossed. Like my folks always tell me to stop and smell the flowers more...

In actual fact, work is not entirely the sole reason contributing to my recent passiveness in blogging. I just could not find a good, juicy, meaty topic to blog about. Contrary to others who blog about their daily activities, I prefer to approach each topic selectively. Well, you can say that my life is pretty boring - no juicy, meaty subjects? Yeap...pretty dry, huh? Nonetheless, I have found one to start off my October entries, to rev up the engines once more. Here it goes...

Most of you have probably read this particular article in Starmag, The Star today about gender identity crisis. Now, it's pretty juicy, isn't it? The article basically outlined a couple's journey in trying to embrace the complications and challenges of living out a life which is, well - not so normal per se, as far as this country is concerned, that is. One half of the couple is a trans-man, someone who goes through a period of transition from one gender to another. In this case, the subject was going through a series of stages from a woman to a man. Hormonal treatments and breast removal aside, the article pressed forward the idea that this particular couple defied all odds stacked up against them to live out their dreams - as a pair of normal lovebirds. Along the way, details of their emotional journey are thrown in to color the idea that love transcends physical attributes.

This is nothing new. I remember reading an article of a trans-man heavily pregnant and proudly showing off "his" bump. Needless to say, his publicity invited a series of debates and how such gender transition has form a grey area in our society. Traditionally, we have been brought up carrying the idea that a union is only possible between a man and a woman. These days, we read loads and loads of articles of gender transition, societies and clubs for same sex individuals seeking emotional refuge and to a large extent, news of people challenging mankind's traditional matrimonial pre-requsities for the heterosexuals only.

The world is so blurry these days. Such phenomenon is evident in the western world, no doubt. The whites are ever so vocal and don't really give a hoot about stigmatism. On the contrary, asians are pretty tight-lipped about deviated sexual preference, much less fight for same sex unions. Many fear being ostracised in a traditional society.

Religiously and traditionally, it is neither right nor ethical to blur the boundaries or even challenge the natural law of sexual union. However, with rapid changes in our society's colorful patterns, can one remain steadfast against mankind's ferocious evolution in life's preference or merely give in and embrace the fact that the grey area is here to stay?

As for me, I can't tell 'cos my Blackberry does not have the answer.

New Life and Crossing the One Year Mark

2009-08-23T21:53:00.003+08:00

A couple of good news came knocking on my door since my last entry. Firstly, praise the good Lord for my sister's salvation and her commitment to start a new life with Jesus after years spending her faith adrift from the Lord's presence. It's wonderful to see my sister walking solidly in her faith - attending classes for born again Christians, church service on Sundays and of course, her weekly home cell. I'm praying daily for my sister to fully commit herself in her walk with the Lord faithfully.

I believe God has an answer to every heart's desires - only according to His time. How true indeed. I remember the gloomy days in Q2 with struggling sales and coming home every evening contemplating on quitting my job for good. Just when the haunting darkness seemed to envelope my life with little hope of regaining my footing in my sales revenue, God dropped a massive 18,000kg cargo at my doorstep. No doubt, the business propelled my revenue to an all time high record since I joined the company. Although the figures are still in the red, no thanks to the freaking targets, I'm truly thankful for His mercy upon me. I've definitely enjoyed the limelight - the moments spent at the pedestal of praise by the senior management for a job well done!

Yeah...the feeling...what can I say? Truth is, such moments do not come along everyday and now I'm back pondering on the future - yet again. After months of worrying and pondering, I've finally clocked one year serving the company. It's amazing how time flies.I mean - I've just crossed one freaking year slogging it out in the airfreight and express industry. Damn...What can I say? Life goes on and I've yet to find my purpose in what I do. I'm still searching - in and out.

Road Users - Morons In Our Midst

2009-08-08T23:47:00.003+08:00

You would have heard of typical mild mannered road users who turned into red-eyed monstrous road bullies and subsequently thrown behind bars for assaulting another driver, be it on the road or at parking lots. I do not write off the fact that many readers would condemn such raging assault on innocent road users by impatient, hot headed drivers., True - no one deserves to be beaten for being at the wrong time and place. However, to a certain extent, I do sympathize with road bullies. Do not get me wrong - I'm not here to condone violent actions and free for all punches and kicks on another fellow being. Rather, take a step back and think again. There is no doubt we are a bunch of nonsensical, pathetic breed of road users - guilty of spearheading the rise of road bullies on the streets every year.

In comparison with 5 years ago, we see an exaggerated increase of cars plying the highways these days. We see more and more of cars with the big, red "P" driven by fresh from-the-oven youngsters or graduates, eager to hit the road with some beauties or hunks by their side. Never mind the monthly installments - rich daddy can take care of that. Driving the big, bad ass car comes first with little regards to traffic rules. Take a stroll to a particular college in town and you will see cars parked haphazardly near the facility, oblivious to other decent road users. Brains for theories but not for practicality. So called for academic achievements and strings of As.

Then you have certain women drivers who are not only a pain in the ass but gets your blood boiling every time you happened to trail them. Being in the same sex category, I cannot take sides here. I do attest to the general notion that women drivers are the worst! Yes, they hog the fast lanes as if their grandmothers owned them and have extremely poor judgment when making turns. Some cannot even tell right from left. Yep - signal left but make a right turn. Stupid is an understatement here. You would be lucky if they ever bothered to signal their turn, expecting every road user to read their empty heads hidden beneath long locks and curly bobs.

Men are equally guilty to certain extent - inconsiderate and "kiasu" - expects everyone to allow them through, queue jumping even if the "hoping" gets them ahead of just another car. Men generally have this uncanny taste for tailgating another car by mere inches as if this act of intimidation could stroke their pathetic ego further for being the king of the road, not knowing such monkey acts would offer them an express mode to the afterlife sooner than expected. A flash of light would normally do to indicate the rush but why the urge to kiss someone's ass? Oh and please don't even mention the slo-mos ah peks who drive as if they are caught in a time zone of the 50's or 60's.

Of course who can forget motorcyclists who constantly think they are bigger than Big Foot - hog the fast lane, swerve dangerously ala Valentino Rossi along the highway meant just for cars and other heavy vehicles? Do not give a shit if you wanna make a turn 'cos they worked their machines as if the word "brakes" is not in their vocabulary? Perhaps the helmets are too tight, blocking much needed sense into their little brains.

Let's not even get into the truck, van and bus drivers.

I do not dispel the fact I have been guilty of traffic offenses in some time of my life however, I do not blatantly cross the line at my whim and fancy like most people do. The road is too barbaric for the ordinary folk these days and do not expect everyone to pull the handbrakes on traffic offenses as such tepid behavior has somewhat became a norm and sadly been accepted as the way of life in this country. Try driving in Singapore - our beloved traffic morons would probably have peed in their pants long ago.

Glorious Weekend

2009-07-11T10:21:00.004+08:00

Time is getting increasingly impatient with mankind these days. It takes off like a speeding bullet train everyday and before you know it, another glorious weekend is here once again to lift our weary spirits after working our pants off. Saturdays and Sundays are like nurturing parents who sooth and caress your broken bodies from an abusive work week, sprinkling droplets of serenity and peace onto your body and soul, making you whole again. No heels, no ties, no power suits - just slippers, shorts and oversize tees. We leave our burdens behind in the office and unchain ourselves from the bondage of frustrations and stressors of corporate expectations. We wrapped ourselves in bed, allowing our bodies to heal and rest soundly, serenaded by the sweetness of morning rays. What a beautiful day. Life at its best, no?

Time to Ponder....

2009-06-29T21:53:00.006+08:00

The world has yet to embrace the fact that MJ is gone and how sad is the truth that we will no longer see The King of Pop moonwalks up on the stage. I'm not exactly a big fan but I do admit that his sudden demise has brought a certain tear rolling down my cheeks. Such an icon, revered by everyone for his music and showmanship in every bit of his performance before his untimely death. It futher saddened me that MJ was only a simple child trapped in a grown man's body, yearning for a typical life as a normal kid which has eluded him in decades. His death has inevitably dawned upon me that life is...indeed, fragile. When destiny calls, we have no choice but to yield.

The fact that the Gloved One lived a glamorous life filled with loads of cash (before he plummeted into abysmal complications of debts) and had the world in his hands at one point of time, he could not escape his tainted destiny. Who could have thought that someone with a big fat, Swiss bank account would die a miserable soul, marred by debts and multitudes of scandals? Life is unpredictable. How true.

Can you foretell your future? What will happen 10 years from now? I believe that God was trying to show me that life is nothing short of complicated and it is entirely up to me to make my life worthwhile. In the end, I can look back and tell myself that I've owed to myself to seek out happiness, to lead a meaningful life, filled with pleasant memories instead of regrets and bitterness. MJ's death signalled that money does not necessarily bring happiness. No doubt, we need the moolah to put rice on the table but how exactly how much is enough to sustain our livelihood without destroying our sunshines in pursuit of our so called financial stability?

Till today, I've worked my ass off, looking forward to my paycheque every month but am I happy? The answer is very hollow indeed. One of my friends asked me if I've LIVED in the last 10 years. I could not answer him. The years come and go - 10 years, 20 years and now, am into my 34th year. Have I really lived? I can only remember how I spent a big chunk of my life in the last 10 years slogging away for a paycheque - to pay off the bills and satisfy my retail thirst once in a while. But the question - Have I been fair to my inner being? Doing what I loved most? Like MJ, we worked and worked for the dollar bills but ultimately, it is our inner self that reflects the real soul - the untainted self which is not dictated by mainstream behaviour - certainly not by money.

As I write, I feel compelled to change the course of my present route. I really don't want to end up regretting later in life that I've not done adequately to fix my bitterness in the corporate life. Before I know it, the big 40 starts creeping into my life and by that time, it'll be too late for me to look back and say to myself, "I could have done that".

Someone once told me - happiness is in my hands and I owe it to myself. After all, I've slogged my ass in school and uni - all in the name for a better future, not a regrettable one. I may have the opportunity to sit down now and blog this entry. However, with life so unpredictable, can you tell what is going to happen to you tomorrow? MJ certainly couldn't.

Of Lakes and Mountains

2009-06-13T15:59:00.007+08:00

I'm finally back to reality after 6 days of bliss, serenity and peace - away from the hustle and bustle of life in KL. My holiday in Guilin, China was nothing short of spectacular with enchanting, picturesque scenery of mountains, beautiful lakes and rivers. Not forgetting the various ethnic groups and aborigines with their huts plying along the renowned Li River. Overall journey into the heart of Guilin has been charmingly unforgettable. Several days of heavy downpour did not damper our spirits in exploring this majestic land of beauty and serenity. Guilin is typically a famous holiday destination for the old folks. Hence, apart from accompanying my parents, I had little expectations of the place. My ideal adventures would be some countries steep in ancient history like Rome, Greece or Egypt. For this reason, I thoroughly enjoyed my previous trip to Beijing. Furthermore, Chinese love to serve porky pork...a disaster to me, needless to say....and oil, loads of 'em...eww...

Our tour made up of 22 members, majority old folks, of course. Surprisingly, they turned out to be pretty active and sporting for their age. We had awesome camaraderie with a couple of old folks - they were funny, chatty and made me feel at ease whenever we chatted. Unfortunately, there's always a rotten tomato in every tour group. This particular family man annoyed me to the skin from the beginning of the tour right till the end. Loud mouth and blowing his trumpet all the time. Crap. Apart from this nonsensical chap, overall tour had been a blast. Kudos to the tour guide who made us feel amazingly at home with her soothing commentaries and personality. A true professional. I'd definitely recommend her to anyone planning on a trip to Guilin.

The highlight of the tour had definitely been the Impressions of Liu Sanje. A remarkable piece of performance staged on a lake and the scenic mountains as the backdrop. The whole piece was choreographed by Zhang Yimou, the same man behind the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony. The show was breathtaking with colorful depictions of the local ethnic groups and their livelihood. Everyone needs to watch it at least once in their lifetime. Left us gasping for more at the end.

Then there's the souvenirs...day by day RMB notes flying off my hand faster than I could say "ni hao"...souvenirs like the aboriginal dolls, bags and key chains are typically hand made by the locals. It didn't cost much to us - averaging from RMB15 to RM30 per set. Worth every penny since it's hand woven...painstakingly.

There's one thing that I've difinitely brought home which is more valuble that souvenirs - lesson in life to be grateful for what I have now. Blessings upon me have been abundant with the love of my family and friends. A good paying job, a car and a roof over my head. Chatting with the locals and observing their hardships in making a meagre living really made me ponder upon my complaints about stress and pressures of work life back in Malaysia. Most of them live in extreme poverty, earning less than a fraction of what's in my paycheque and their stress could level that of mine. So what is my daily problems? I was actually holding back tears when I saw this little girl carrying an unbrella and begging tourists to buy her roses for a mere RMB5 in the rain. Then there's these really old folks flocking to every tourist to buy their locally grown fruits and veggies. A heart wrenching scene. Everyone has their hard times, so they told me. I should remind myself of the blessings I have.

Despite the fact that all of our tour members were eager to return home, I could not get enough of the place. One week is definitely not adequate to explore more. Well then, I guess there will be another time. Until then, it's back to reality for me on Monday and sure hope no more complaints about my freaking job!

He Breathed His Last This Morning

2009-06-06T12:18:00.004+08:00

My excitement in anticipation to rock Guilin dissolved like ice cubes in hot boiling water this morning as I took one or my pet hamsters to the vet. It looked as if some %$#@* bacterias have been happily chewing up part of his face. He looked terribly sick and could hardly move. Vet told me that the poor chap had to be put to sleep. Too painful for him to live on. I had no choice but to give in. My sister decided not to witness him breathing his last. She walked out of the room but I decided to stay on. He had his last meal pior to his fateful moments. The vet's assistant pinned the poor chap down to the surgical table to limit his movements. The vet then quickly injected some lethal solution into his beating heart. Within seconds, my poor little friend started vomiting blood and laid motionless on the table. After several faint heartbeats, it was all over for him. RIP. Needless to say, I was fighting back tears. Hamsie has been with me since last year and it is terribly heartbreaking to see him walk away like that. Age caught up with him but those freaking bacterias precipitated his demise. We wrapped him up in newspapers and took him home, along with an empty cage. My remaining 5 hamsters must be wondering the whereabouts of their pal.

No doubt, there's pain in witnessing the process. I could have walked away like my sister did but I just wanted to be there for him....his last moments on earth. Hamsie has been an incredibly gentle and cute to the core. Despite his size, he's never bitten me. We called him a gentle giant. Well then, I guess in every living, breathing being, there's a shelf life. Just like us. Death is constant, so they say. How true it is. We cannot fight it but we can at least live our lives to the fullest. I know Hamsie did, despite his last painful moments.

Rest In Peace, my friend.

A long Overdue Holiday - here I come!

2009-05-31T17:09:00.002+08:00

I had a surprisingly energetic and relatively productive work week. Perhaps my pesky fever bug had given me much needed dose of steroids to bounce back to work with enthusiasm and energy. I felt like Popeye after a can of spinach. Visited as many clients as possible to make up for a horrible week when I was down with fever. I still sound coarse but sexy, or so my colleagues pointed out. Well then, I enjoyed my week, a relaxing one indeed. I didn't think much about my work. I just took one day, one challenge at a time. I'm just sick of worrying and it's high time that I set my feet firmly on the ground. Things haven't changed a bit at work - problems, service issues and of course, co-workers with rotten attitude to boost. I just need to embrace the fact that everyone has mental problems - imbeciles, more like it. As expected, the week passed by very quickly and of course, I was more than happy to greet the weekend, all so looking forward to a short but promising weekend. What's more, in another 7 days, I'll be visiting the land where the majestic Great Wall still stands proudly and prominently. This time round, I'm not visiting Beijing - been there in 2001. Instead, I will be a camera trigger happy tourist in Guilin. I've heard so much about its beauty and can hardly wait to soaked up in its serenity. It's a long overdue holiday for me and I'm just gonna leave behind my excess baggage at work and let my spirits soar high in the mountains. I'm definitely looking forward to recharge my body and soul....and of course, my bruised up mind.

Life

2009-05-24T00:19:00.002+08:00

The past one week has seen the lowest point in my life. I've been sick and completely struck down by this hyperactive flu bug which has been making every soul's life miserable in this so called "fever" season. My whole body felt like shit from fever, cough and flu and felt shittier when my voice deserted me. I had no choice but to take a couple of days off from work. The entire week had been hell and totally, outrageously unproductive as far as hitting my work KPI is concerned. I had to stay away from my favourite grub and went to bed with a battered body and mind. Mentally, I was totally worn out worrying about my job and of course, what else - my future. I've been pondering about my future all too often. Damn it! Why do I need to worry sick? I don't understand. I just need to snap out of it. Life is just too short and what the heck with work anyway? I have another 16 years to my retirement and what's with a mere 16 years?? I don't need anymore grey hair than I already have with all those worries. Life is short, they say...if given a choice, I'd rather have spent my time travelling around the world and doing the things I loved but alas - money is the big hurdle and yes...I've been working my ass thin paying off all those freaking bills, bills and more bills! I just feel so incinerated at times - I just feel like a pre-programmed cyborg working my butt off day in, day out. Oh how I do feel envious of people who can enjoy their lives and making shit loads of money doing what they loved. Is this ever possible?!? Enjoy your work and earning a fat paycheque? Reality seems just too far off, I guess. Life is powered by battery? I'm beginning to feel like that little guy in the Energizer advert...a small tiny battery, running around...Oh well...life...if it's to be, it is up to me - to make it worthwhile....

New Toy and A Bad Cough

2009-05-16T21:44:00.004+08:00

Hi there! I'm back. Yeap, been missing in action for awhile now. No interesting subjects to blog about apart from officially warping in to my 34th year not so recently and subsequently bought myself an iPhone. Yea...I've been eyeing on an iPhone for a long time. Apart from my new toy, it's work, work and more work. Weather has been going yo-yo these days. Must say, there's no better time to roast a lamb on the sidewalk without building a camp fire. It's just so freaking hot! Almost everyone I know has been strucked down by some feverish bugs. Needless to day, I did not escape the pesky bug and yep, I'm officially down with a high fever and really bad cough. Lost my voice in the process. Doctor said I should stay at home and rest, rest and rest. There goes my long awaited plan to catch Angels and Demons at the cinemas. Darn! Where's my army of antibodies? They have certainly deserted me when I needed them most. Bah!

Nothing interesting stuff these days as far as subjects for blogging are concerned. I"m just waiting for my trip to come knocking at my door soon. Yea - my week-long holiday in Guilin, China. Countdown has begun....

Angels, Demons and Panda Eyes

2009-04-28T18:49:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I found myself so deeply immersed in a book. After constantly getting weary at work, I've decided to shift my attention away from some wretched sales figures and give my mind some really good cerebral workout. Last Saturday, after shimmering aimlessly around MPH, I've decided to spend sometime reading some fictional stuff - I've had enough of those over-rated self improvement books. I have stacks of them at home. For some apparent funny reasons, I've never really bought into those self-help ideas laid out by so called award winning gurus...don't know why...perhaps I'm a little impatient in yielding results and self improvement is all about time and practise and practise and practise....mmm....

Anyway, back to my cerebral workout - I just needed to color my life with some fictions and after running through my fingers across book shelves, I finally picked Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I've read his previous work - The Da Vinci Code. Some strong stuffs he had back then, and a controversial one indeed. Being a firm believer in sweet Jesus, I treated the book and all its accounts as purely fiction. My faith has never been rocked, even after watching the movie. So I thought his latest effort will only serve nothing more than a pure, laid back entertainment for my weary mind.

I must say, I've been hooked on A&D since and can't wait to get home every evening to catch the next chapter. Intrigued by the mysteries of catacombs, crypts and codes, I must admit - this book really had my entire self immersed in its chapters, night after night. Time just whizzed by as I turned every page...to some extent, I didn't realize I've followed Mr Langdon straight into the wee hours in the morning and I had to get ready for work in less than 5 hours. So, this explains my panda-liked eyes when I clocked into office these couple of days.

I've managed to catch the movie trailer....really can't wait!

Hurt

2009-04-26T17:38:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt inconceivable pain in your heart seeing someone whom you secretly admired flirting with someone else? The pain is like an arrow plunged merciless straight into your heart. Amidst the pain, all you can do is pretend not to notice the flirt and you still feel miserable hours after that. Familiar? Well then, you probably have not found yourself in such situation in your lifetime. You're probably lucky enough to pursue your dreams and love openly with no fear of rejection.

I have friends who have confided in me, relating their so called ordeal seeing someone whom they secretly had a crush on, flirting with another. All they could do is pretend as if they're absolutely fine with it whilst their hearts are being peeled away, slowly and painfully. The feeling sucks and I know it all too well. You longed to be in the presence of that someone because it liberates your feelings which have been buried deep in oblivion but dying to resurface for moments of pleasure. You could hardly wait to see them and when you do, your heart is brutally served with the pain of watching that someone investing more affections in another and only engages in platonic, small talks with you.

The solution? You can either fight for your love or distant yourself from that someone. The less you see them together, the less painful it is to bear. Perhaps the feeling will soon fade away when less time is spent together. It's an awful feeling to be apart but if one is fighting a losing battle, it is best left defeated in return for a healing heart.

Happiness is not always within our grasp, unfortunately. Destiny can be all so cruel, sometimes, no?

Heated Figures

2009-04-18T23:45:00.003+08:00

It's been a hectic work week for me in past couple of days. Traveled to Singapore on Wednesday to tour TNT's regional hub and then back to work on Friday. The trip was arguably one of the most hectic and tiresome one I've had in years, largely due to loads of foot work touring the site and meeting regional colleagues the night before. Nonetheless, the trip is definitely worth every penny of it, at least as far as work is concerned. I still have more than 100+ emails sitting comfortably in my inbox; some untouched since Wednesday and I just do not know where to start, honestly. Now I really know what people meant when they said that emails are the curse of modern times. Working from home doesn't really help much considering the extremely painful slow connection to work server. It took a freakin' 10-15 minutes to load one stupid page! Guess it tells me to give a break!

There is no escaping work tomorrow. Still need to catch some deadlines. Oooh! I just hate the word - DEADLINES! Q2 is in and no doubt, management will start to chase for bigger and more delicious figures and the word DEAD exactly nails my feeling now. Oh gosh! Why? Why? Why? Our lives are so mobilized by figures as the yardstick of performance - You name it....whichever job you're in, the boss will sure fire up some figures for you to chase. Sales, customer service, accounting, HR and even a gym instructor! Sigh....

Can we control our own destiny? Set our targets and impose them upon our management? Guess it's just too far from reality. The fact remains that even our own management is grappling with freakin' figures....and the heatwave is not helping either!

It's been so bloody hot these days. Can hardly feel the chill of the night. I remember waking up all soaked to the skin this morning and I cannot switch the AC on whilst I snooze, thanks to my idiotic nose which is so extremely sensitive to temperature changes. I once got up with the AC blasting away and I ended my entire day ruined with a stupid nose ballooned up with mucus!

There's no doubt, the weather is changing and the world is getting screwed because of such prolonged heatwave....poor Mr Polar. Guess a small minority of drinks peddlers are getting some good, juicy revenues. Mmmm...maybe it's a good idea to set up a stall selling lemonade...times are bad - who knows? The return would be unimaginable. Yea..

Eyes on Oakley

2009-04-11T23:37:00.003+08:00

I've been scouting around for a new pair of sunglasses and finally found one. It was love at first sight, indeed. Close to 99% of my time is spent on the road in the blazing, scorching hot sun and glaring rays. Hence, donning a good pair of sunnies is not exactly a fashion statement these days but a necessity to protect my delicate eyes from those pesky UV rays. For this reason, the name Oakley immediately topped my list. As a matter of fact, my mind was so fixed on getting a pair of Oaks, I did not bother looking for other brands. The last time I bought a pair of Oaks was in 2001. I still have it in my drawer, stashed up somewhere but I reckoned it's time to get a new pair. Not that I have tonnes of cash to burn but the old pair has lost its charm in terms of color and to a certain extent the rubber had begun to wear off.

My budget is not more than RM400. It's considerably difficult to hunt for a pair of Oaks at that kind of budget but guess it was a lucky day for me. I spotted a handsome pair at the new wing, IOI Mall just a week ago. The pair was going for RM350+ but the staff offered a discount and I finally paid RM300. I tried it on the following day in the blazing hot sun and was totally impressed!

Two words summed up my verdict : Loving it!

Marley & Percy

2009-03-29T19:41:00.003+08:00

I was totally pushed to the limit at work last week. I don't even wanna blog about it. I was so flabbergasted at all the hullabullah at work that I could not even find a decent word to describe my "adventure". I had to find a good remedy to bring down my heartbeat and blood pressure. Yep, I just wanted to watch a feel good movie to take my mind off work. A movie with an adorable animal - Marley & Me.

I've always loved dogs - be it strays or royal breeds. I spent a good 24 years of my life with 5 beautiful pet dogs - Percy, Pam, Rexy, Lucky and Spotty. All served my family well, faithfully and unconditionally. Percy, a wooly Spitz was my first pet dog, then followed by Pam (a Pomeranian). Rexy came in later after Pam went missing (most likely stolen) and finally Lucky and Spotty, adopted from SPCA. After we moved to Subang 10 years ago, my parents dropped the idea of having another pet dog. Time and commitment became the biggest stumbling factor. Since sis and I spend obscene amount of time away from home due to work, pa and ma didn't want to be saddled with the burden of scooping puppy poos no more. We opted for hamsters instead.

The movie did an incredible job in soothing my stressed up mind. I laughed my head off and ultimately cried buckets at the end watching Marley breathed his last. Marley pretty much reminded me of Percy. He entered my life as a bright, young puppy and grew into a fine, handsome dog before slipping into old age with cataract and mobility problems. He finally left us unexpectedly on one faithful evening. We searched the entire neighborhood for him. He was nowhere to be found. People used to tell me that dogs run away from their masters to die. That is why when John Grogan's son mentioned that, I had tears streaming down my cheeks, reminded of my good 'ol, faithful Percy.

In all, it's a feel good movie. Nonetheless, the movie could have been better had it focus more on Marley's growing up years instead of the Grogan clan.

Screwed Again......and Again.....

2009-03-22T18:21:00.003+08:00

After a week of crashing into an ah beng's ass, I still feel acute pain on my chest. Worse. the pain has traveled far onto my back and shoulders. Went over to SJMC for proper scan - doc said I'm too healthy for any broken bones so he's prescribed me some painkillers and medicated plasters as big as a notebook. Thank goodness the bill is covered under ING. Otherwise, I'd have to fork out a fortune for some freaking pills and plasters. You know how private hospitals tend to fleece their patients, even for some pathetic aspirins. After tucking into a mouthful of chicken chops and mushroom soup at the canteen, I went straight home to pop in some painkillers and plastered my body. I don't execatly fancy painkillers and they are known to have nasty, adverse side effects on the body but I had no choice. The pain was too overwhelming. As expected, the pain left me - well for a while, that is.

Woke up this morning, screaming in pain. Could not get up from bed. My whole body seemed numbed and frozen by the sharp pain on my chest, back and shoulders. Cold sweat ran down my head and back - I almost passed out. No choice - stumbled down to the kitchen and grab some painkillers. Sat myself down for awhile. It was total nightmare. I've never felt this way before and hated every bit of it. I cannot be depending on painkillers! Guess I just have to bear with the pain for another 2-3 weeks. It will take time to heal, that's for sure.

As if the pain is not enough to send me to the gallows, I received another shocking news when I went over to the police station to settle my summons. Yep - I got another love letter from the traffic police - this time for speeding. Damn it! RM500 burnt within a day and to think I can enjoy my hard earned sales incentives by end of next month. A big chunk is now gone - just lilke the wind!

A real painful lesson learned, honestly. Screwed those phone calls when I'm driving now and screw those late appointments!

Now the good news - my car is ready for collection in 3 days time. Can't wait to see my babe again.

Screwed - Again!

2009-03-15T10:13:00.004+08:00

Sometimes things are better left unsaid. Yea - I was having a brief conversation with my colleague on Friday about the various road accidents I had in the past 3 years and the next thing I know, I rammed into someone's ass on my way to meet a client that faithful afternoon. The ass belonged to a BMW, 5 series to be exact and my friends said I do have good taste in smooching asses. It happened in a split second. Somehow, I'm beginning to feel that a pair of eyes are just not good enough for me these days to stay alert on the road. The impact was heavy - strong enough to bruise my chest and strain my neck. Thank God for the seatbelt. Otherwise, I would have done a supergirl stunt, minus the red panty and blue spandex. Following that, my entire plans for the afternoon was thrown out of porpotion and had to slot in appointments with the traffic police, workshop and doctor instead. Despite taking pain killers and ointment to rub on, I still feel the pain till now. My entire neck is stiff like shit but the soreness on my chest is slowly giving me some peace of mind. My heart is aching terribly for my car - now in ICU, waiting for Mr Doc to work some miracles to get it back into shape asap. Even that, I have to wait for a freaking 2 weeks before I can see my babe again :(

My car is nowhere near virgin status right now after being screwed on the rear about a year ago and now the cherry on its front has been plucked in a nasty way. Damn it! But that's not the end. Needless to say, I got a really looooooonnnnng lecture from my pa and ma. Somehow, I think they are already immuned to my accidents. They are not as panicky as before when I buzzed them about my accident. Obviously pa is not amused at all as I will be taking his car (again) for some rides in the next couple of weeks. The word "unfortunate" really gotten the best of me this time round or perhaps, it's simply Friday the 13th. Now I do understand why my fellow colleagues chose the date to be on leave - to be away from the traffic. I should've heeded.

Well then, what has happened, remained happened and the past. I can only look forward to seeing my babe once again and praying for the next 2 weeks to past by swiftly :(

What Are You Here For?

2009-03-11T13:44:00.003+08:00

Have you every wondered why you are here - in this world, in this lifetime doing what you are doing? Do you go on about your day as if it's a chore? A responsibility to fulfill your obligation to justify your existence? Do you know what you are doing and where you are heading? We live our lives everyday doing what we are "programmed" to do - work for a living. We work, we earn a salary, we pay off bills and indulge in life's pleasure and then back to work again to earn another month's salary to get the cycle going again. I'm beginning to feel that we are no different from hamsters who ride their tiny wheels in the cage whole day long - doing it over and over again without heading anywhere for the betterment of our lives. I don't know why I'm blogging this today. Perhaps, it's the boredom of killing time before my next appointment with my client. Here I am at a coffee shop, sipping tea and checking my yahoo mails - same time, toggling here and there to catch up on the latest feeds in Facebook. For some apparent reasons, I refuse to check my work mails. I just wanna chill and forget about work for a while. Back to my question - have you ever wondered if you are here for a reason? Are you here on a mission? Life is short....there's always an answer to our existence. Everyone is unique and brought into this world to accomplish something. Be it pro-creation, bringing cheer to the less fortunate, to meet your soulmate, making this world a better place for everyone or simply to just annoy your neighbour. Sometimes life is so mundane. I envy people who found their life's purpose. I'm still seeking mine and have yet to find my mission, my purpose. I live my life just like everyone who struggles in the corporate jungle - work stress, traffic headaches and family conflicts at times. We walk our journeys day by day without stepping out of our boundaries, not wishing to rock the boat of complacency. We work, earn a penny, save a penny, eat, drink, laugh, sleep and the process starts all over again. Can our lives be that of our heroes in the movies? Blazing light sabers in a galaxy far, far away? Riding a black, stern stallion across the desert, pursued by a pack of mummies? Swash buckle away in a king's castle, out to rescue a damsel in distress? Combat every single living gladiator in the ring amidst bloodthirsty lions and roars from the Roman elites? If only life is that interesting. Alas, reality check - we live in a subdued world where we are powered by work batteries - we live to earn a living. No one can escape the realities of why we need the green bags to keep our cells going. Even an artist doing what he loves most needs the little green notes for the baker's pockets in return for a slice of bread.

We eat and therefore, we work - is that your mission? As for me, I try very hard to disgaree with this reality but it overwhelms me that I have to submit...at least for now.

Peace - at least for now...

2009-03-07T00:20:00.004+08:00

Finally, I can sleep like a baby after weeks of blurred uncertainties. My first big break has given me part relief and part headache. All the late nights and obscene amount of time spent in follow through to ensure nil screw-ups have finally paid off handsomely. Nothing comes easy, they say and how true it is! Well, it doesn't end there and the real challenge has just begun as I need to cast the net further for incremental volume amidst a deadlock economy with series of layoffs, reduced orders and shortened work weeks by most customers. The future is so blurred now. One thing for sure - this big break has certainly given me some much needed boost and really do hope the passion continues to burn; at least an occasional flicker would do - enabling me to stay on course for better things to come.

Being an emotional sucker, I get stressed and upset very easily. After all these years working in the sales line, I thought I could pile up the layers on my face but guess I still have much work to do - to remain unemotional, unaffected by negative consequences and most importantly - able to keep my cool. Oh yes - I explode pretty easily. A bull, they say...Yea, am a Taurean - impatient and short fused? Maybe meditation would be good for me - if I can tame by impatience to sit still and do the "hmmm...hmmm....hmmm...."

Work aside, I'm not too pleased with my workout schedule these days - hardly dragged my ass to the gym after plenty of late nights at the office. Just too lazy and mentally tired. Ironically, workout is one of the best medicine for a stressed out body and mind. Perhaps I do need my colleague to sarcastically remind me that I'm paying the gym for nothing. Quite true....I stretched my ringgits to the limit last year in paying the freakin' gym for a 5 year-membership deal. These days, I workout without paying a penny. I should be a kiasu and work my ass everyday or at least 4 times a week. Long gone are the days when I could skip to the gym 7 days a week....man....can't imagine I actually worked my fat ass 7 days a week in my younger days. I was completely hooked on Cardio Dance and followed my instructor wherever she went - religiously attended her class like daily supplements intake. Guess that's how I lost 12 kg in 6 months without any intention to loose weight to begin with! Ha! Those days....:))

I can only look forward to spice up my workout with a little more variety - say, revive my itch for BC and BP. I've been putting off the idea of incorporating some jabs and punches back into my workout regime...damn those procrastination bugs! It's RPM, RPM and RPM these days. I have a feeling I'm slowly losing my interest in brushing my thighs with the saddle - choice of instructors are so limited at TF these days - a BIG yawn. Well.....

Let's see if we have new batch of instructors coming up soon....it's always refreshing to see new faces for a change.

Until then, it's zzzz.....all the way for me as far as RPM is concerned these days.

Roller Coaster Ride

2009-02-28T14:30:00.002+08:00

Life is a roller coaster, so they say. Just when I've tasted some sweetest success in my life, problems came tumbling down, throwing my week off balance. Yea, I spent an entire stupid week solving problems stemmed from my big break. Perhaps it's the secret of attraction, you know, the book? I'm beginning to believe in that, a tad though. I was estactic when I clinched the deal but being an anxious freak, I had a very bad feeling that problems would soon crop up. Lo and behold, it did not exactly turn out to be a bed of roses. Instead of celebrating with a toast of champagne, I spent late nights in the office attending to tricky issues shadowing the deal. One challenge after another followed - fire fighting, damage control and to an extent, almost lost another big deal. I was so extremely tired, I almost wanted to give up.

I sacrificed my time for workout and completely lost my appetite for dinner. The feeling's heavy - like a boulder on my back. It's a week best left forgotten. Along the way, I've learned a very good lesson and paid an extremely heavy price for my impulsiveness. I work with my heart and not my mind. Emotions got in the way and made some boo-boos in getting my last deal on board. It certainly set a very bad impression on my performance, most notably my reactions to conflicts at work. I do not know what came over me that evening. I was completely lost in excitement, forgetting the very fundamental and essential trait in managing urgency. In the end, my impulse got the better of me. I let a golden opportunity slipped and really hated myself for it. Darn!

The only consolation is to move on no matter what happened. Let bygones be bygones, they say. After all the unwelcome excitement thrown at me within a week, I feel lethargic and worn out. No mood to relax. I just prayed for healing, especially my wounded heart and hope to pull the brakes every time urgency beckons. Manage myself, I've been told and manage I will.

Finally

2009-02-20T23:59:00.005+08:00

Yup, folks! I finally nailed my first big break at work. It hasn't been easy in the past couple of weeks, working my throat off in landing my biggest breakthrough to date. Since a big part of the deal involved close communication with Europe, I had to stay up late in the evening after office hours to ensure everything worked as seamlessly as possible. Needless to say, the sacrifices paid off handsomely and I can finally sleep soundly for the 1st time in 2 weeks. I'm fortunate to have a supportive team of colleagues - that counts a lot. No one is an island and I could not have pulled through without their support. Most importantly, I have the sweetest divine help from my good Lord. I prayed and prayed, hoping for a miracle...and now I can finally taste it.

Well then, I know this sweet feeling is short lived and the toughest part is to ensure my targets are met week in week out and it's not easy feat considering the gloomy economic weather. It's definitely a long and bumpy road ahead. I sure do hope that this first break of mind will propel me further with my freshly acquired confidence.

One thing I've learned in the process - patience IS really a virtue. I've almost given up hope on this business and felt depressed, bitter and angry. My greatest weakness is impatience. I've always wanted immediate results. I've lost many battles for giving in to impatience. Fortunately, I knocked it off my head this time round and persevered. It's a bitter sweet experience.

For now, I'm praying real hard to get through my next hurdle....many more to come, as a matter of fact.

Love Is In The Air

2009-02-14T22:44:00.008+08:00

It's that time of the year when Mr Cupid goes a hunting for lonely hearts. Yup - it's Valentine's day and everyone, well almost everyone is feeling lovey dovey. While my life is still missing the other half, I took the opportunity to have my parents celebrate their love for each other at Jack's Place, 1U. As expected, the place was filled with young lovebirds. The atmosphere was just right for couples to get all cosy with each, serenaded by soothing, romantic love songs. The scene was timeless. Couples gazing into each other's eyes with occasional interruptions of waiters cutting in to serve onion rings, mango shrimp cocktails and steaks. Cupid didn't have to work hard at Jack's Place. Couples were obviously struck by his amorous arrows long ago. Young men walking around carrying bouquets for their loved ones. A dude was even seen standing near the entrance of a shop, fidgeting nervously, waiting for his girl to clock off. Ahhh....those lovesome scenes.

Love was definitely in the air tonight but to what extent couples are willing to embrace Valentine bonding in their entire lifetime and not merely on a special occasion? I have been told many times that one does not need to wait till Valentine's day to make their special ones feel loved. If couples are deeply in love, everyday is Valentine. How true, isn't it? Valentine only comes once year and lasts only 24 hours. True love is more than roses, chocolates and expensive candle light dinners. It's about trust, commitment, romance and everything in between. Above all, it's about tolerance and respect. Along the way, love requires chemistry and tenderness. Once a couple gets hooked, it's an interesting journey of life exploration. One is no longer alone but walks in pair.

True love withstands trials and challenges. Personally, I don't really buy all those timeless romantic ideas we seen on the silver screen. It's nice to watch onscreen couples get hooked and all cosy rosy, cuddling each other, gazing longingly into each others blue eyes. It feels good watching hunky dory Hugh Jackman lustfully smooching Nicole Kidman in Australia. However, love is more than lust and dreamy romantic ideas with your loved ones. It's about walking life's journey together, committing into each others needs and lifestyle. The real test is to make a relationship lasts beyond ages.

I have friends who have broken up with their partners after months of courtship. They started off with fiery passion for each other, often misled by lust at first sight. Over time, real self beyond amorous attraction began to surface, resulting in repeated fights, misunderstandings and intolerance. They often claimed that it's chemistry that got them together in the first place. Lame. Some may be lucky - tying the knot with their first love but there are some who have to go through many broken hearts before stumbling upon the ONE. Destiny, destiny, destiny.

What do you think? If you're in love, what have you done today to make your partner proud? I'm not talking about expensive dinners, roses and chocolates. These things are always supplementary in cementing a solid, long lasting loving relationships. Have you renewed your commitment with your partner or merely making him/her smitten for just one evening with your romantic gestures?

If you're single, like moi - stay hopeful. I'm sure everyone is destined to meet THE special one. It's just a matter of time before Mr Cupid strikes again. Hopefully he doesn't miss this time.

A Long Overdue Gathering at Shenny's

2009-02-09T21:31:00.004+08:00

After years of eluded opportunities and unwarranted excuses, I finally met up with my ex-uni mates from UM at Shenny's today. Yup, Shenny's kids have grown by "leaps and bounds" which brings us closer to our aunty-ish era, no matter how much we try to hide those pesky wrinkles :) As usual, we took this rare opportunity to catch up on things - work, life and motherhood. I must admit, the latter received the least attention from me, especially everything about pregnancy which I practically know nuts about. Well, at least I know who to consult when the right time comes - that is, when it comes. It was a pleasant meeting indeed. At least I went home happy with a couple of last ang pows for the year.

Engrish

2009-02-09T00:09:00.006+08:00

It's a universal fact that English is widely spoken and understood across all continents. I'm quite certain that the language plays a pivotal role in our daily activities, be work or play. Everyday, our grammatical exercise revolves around English, apart from our mother tongues or perhaps, the national language at certain times. It's also an accepted fact that someone who speaks excellent English is considered well educated and more often than not, associated with the beauty of social status and the bank account. Yes, I'm disgusted at such notion, especially when one appears to be advocating the importance of the language to the young ones with disastrous and sometimes, amusing results - all in the name of blending into the "classy society". I'm neither an expert orator in English nor write with absolute eloquence but I've always believed that if one needs to carry the language well, do it properly, especially with the kids.

Recalling my experience this morning as I was on my way to run my errands, one particular kid almost immediately caught my attention when he mentioned, "Dad, please on the car". The mother probably noticed my head turned and promptly corrected her boy, "It's start the car, dear". The poor boy defiantly challenged his mum out loud, "but YOU said on the car just now". I was downright amused - not at the boy's grammatical error but rather, his mother's embarrassing linguistic moments with her frustrated kid. Yes, parents who are so eagerly trying to mold their children into classy, English speaking society that they forget the true essence of proper grammar usage. You have probably heard of parents who babble non stop in broken English with their kids and still pretend to look good doing it. Perhaps it's the peer pressure of educating their kids who can converse well in English for a better future, or purely just to look good, highly educated and "classy". Let's not even go into the idea of some parents who speak with atrocious accent ala American or British. So far, I've never heard of any Texan wannabes - thank goodness.

In short, we need to strike a balance in injecting proper usage of English into our young ones with occasional emphasis on our own mother tongues. I cannot comprehend the fact that some Chinese do not speak their mother tongues and worse still, these "bananas" think that conversing in their mother tongues are so "uncool". Personally, I prefer a mandarin orange to a banana, anytime.

My Evening with WP

2009-02-04T22:43:00.005+08:00

Another drained out day, another late night but a surprisingly nostalgic evening. Know why? 'Cos my one time favorite pop group Wilson Philips was on air with their award winning breakthrough hit, "Hold On". I found myself singing and humming to the tune all the way home. Never mind the horrendous traffic and idiotic drivers (nothing new) - the melodic words literally soothed my tired mind and brought back many sweet old memories. Yup, when the hit track first emerged from the trio back in 1990, I was preparing for my SRP - one of my best years in Assunta. Truly, the song did a wonderful job invoking all my beloved memories of the many playful days with my school mates and the crazy stuffs we enjoyed doing together. A great song indeed with wonderful lyrics.

Despite 19 years have passed since WP first released their album, I still enjoy listening to their songs. Other favorites include "Release Me", "Go Your Own Way" and the ultimate tear jerker "You're In Love". Just when I was getting sick of head thumping numbers with utterly disastrous lyrics played over the radio these days, listening to the melodic WP was indeed a nice and soothing change this evening. I'm definitely looking forward to more of them! If the ladies are ever coming to our shores, I will be waiting at the ticketing booth!

Making Do With Bumps In Our Lives

2009-02-02T22:08:00.005+08:00

The recent Australian Open ended with one of the most profound and emotional moments in men's tennis history. Roger Federer, arguably one of tennis' greats in recent years, was reduced to tears on his defeat to his long time arch rival Rafael Nadal on Sunday. It was indeed heart wrenching watching Roger sobbing away distressingly instead of celebrating yet another Grand Slam victory. It was hard not to cry with him and the crowd was evidently emphatic. Personally, I could feel for him. Having fought so terribly hard throughout the tournament, he could've gone on to become a great champion once again, reigniting his troubled career since losing out on his pet Wimbledon last year. I've always enjoyed watching him play - his graceful and artistic strokes are always a joy to watch. I've rooted for him over the hard-slamming, brutish, top spin approach by Nadal. However, it was a bitterly forgettable evening for this tennis genius and likewise for me. Sob.

Watching Roger containing his sobs at a painful defeat reminds me of my own bitter experience at work in my early years. The year was 2000 and I can vividly recall (until these days) I shed similar heartbreaking tears on my way home after learning that I've lost out on a major tender. I was still very young and considered a virgin in the blood-sucking corporate world that time. You know, the dog eat dog world? Yeah. I had my first taste back then. I was extremely enthusiastic and passionate about securing my first big break and thus, gave my all. Alas, it was never meant to be. Despite the fact that I received a commendable pat on my back from the management for my fiery persistency, I could not contain my pain that very evening and helplessly drove home, a broken soul. I was driving a blue Kancil back then, bespectacled and probably a bit obese. Oh well...Those were the days, as they always say. That was my first taste of corporate defeat.

Just like Roger having a bad career day after years spent atop a pedestal, I keep reminding myself that the roads ahead of me are not always flat despite some achievements in life and thus, I will require to maneuver my ways to find success, even if I'd have to drive into a pothole and emerge back to flat roads after that. I've gone through many bumps to where I am today and I do not rule out the fact that many bumps are here to stay. I can never do away the imperfections of life's journey. I do hate it, I do. I hate to taste the tears of bitterness and anxiety. The feeling has never been pretty and it takes away the cheer in our hearts. The problem is, we need to face it no matter how reluctant we are. Times especially like these when we are bitting bullets of impending recession, more heart breaks will come our way. This is the largest and steepest pothole I've ever experienced and I'm struggling to embrace it every day, praying hard for a ray of light to lift my spirits every morning.

Until we see a good silver lining in the horizon, we just need to emulate Roger - to continue to work on his strokes and probably better luck next time.

Gotta Be Somebody

2009-01-31T16:33:00.009+08:00

For as long as I can remember, working my calves in BP after a vigorous, butchering RPM session has always been a nightmare, at least for me. Hence, I would rather pump up my limbs first before moving on to RPM and not the reverse. Surely, gym fanatics of BP-RPM combo would echo a big "aye" to that. Nonetheless, sometimes there are exceptions - with a good reason. Since I'll be cutting down on FRI's RPM at Taipan on Fridays, I took a good dose of opportunity to attend her manic classes as much as possible. Yup, she taught both RPM and BP this morning. In RPM - she pounded and in BP - she pulverized her members. The crowd loved it. In the end, I knew it's been a fantastic workout for me when I noticed drops of moisture on my legs. I don't get that all the time. Sadly, I will not be riding with her in RPM as much next month as I have tweaked my schedule to accommodate my working hours - of course, perhaps there would be days and room for exceptions. Nothing is ever conclusive in life.

Gym aside, bet you have heard of this particular track hovering over the airwaves these days - "Gotta Be Somebody" by Nickleback. I find the words pretty charming and to a certain extent, nailed my feelings to the core. It's about looking for someone to be loved. Yes - there's someone out there for you. It's a matter of time, a matter of distance:

So I'll be holdin' my breath
Right up 'til the end
Until the moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

Have you found yours? I'm still waiting for that someone. It could be that someone I've already known or someone who's living and breathing elsewhere? Someone who is already a friend of mine, an acquaintance or a stranger in our midst? It has been said that everyone is made for someone. You are destined to be with THAT someone. Have you ever wondered what brought you to your SOMEONE amidst a billion people on this planet? Is it fate or coincidence? Is it effort in courtship or those little words in your head that goes, "You have found THE one, my dear", along with your sweaty palms and pounding heartbeat? It's a fuzzy feeling, leaving you confused but ecstatic, like walking on air.

Nothing beats the pain of knowing that someone is not the one and can never be. You traveled through ages, braced every challenge to tear down the impossibilities, only to find that someone was never meant to be, no matter how hard you try to contain your heartaches. You suffer in silence as that someone knows nothing of your pain and you pretend to go about your life as usual, pretending to be friends and nothing more. Your heart stops beating when you know that your someone has found his or her someone. The world comes crashing down with little droplets of hope to sooth your aching heart. You feel happy for that someone but deep inside, cracks are aplenty - only time can heal while everybody continues to wait for their somebody, hoping for a ray of light to shine through to unveil another chapter in their lives, to walk in pairs and not alone.

Have you found your someone? Perhaps not today but he or she is definitely out there for you, pondering likewise.

My Pick - Changeling

2009-01-28T13:51:00.005+08:00

I've always been a big fan of dramas especially the ones based on true stories. I find it particularly interesting to watch real events and stories unfold before your eyes as such movies are never far from depicting the realities of life's struggles in the world we live in, be it past or present. Of course, I do have occasional picks on comedies, fantasies and action packed but nothing beats the intensity of watching ordinary men and women overcome life's tribulations in exceedingly difficult situations. I mean, how many of you ever experienced or at least heard of someone within your circle executing gravity defying, flying kicks ala Lucy Liu in overcoming life's challenges? Let's not even talk about horror - never liked 'em. Have you ever noticed that horror movies nowadays are seemingly outdoing each other with more and more gory depictions of death? I find them disturbing, too disturbing for my liking.

None of my family members are fans of dramas, let alone dark ones. To them, watching a movie is suppose to take our minds away from realities of life, for a change. Say, having werewolves go ballistic against their blood sucking friends in a dark, messy battle scene where one cannot even tell if a werewolf was ripping his foe apart or having a sexy romp in a pool of mud. So, I'm the only weirdo in my family who goes for lengthy, boring movies with a lot of spoken words. Nevertheless, I do love a good laugh once in a while with comedies to ease my tired mind. I'm not THAT boring, you know.

Now, my real gist of this blog - Changeling. Be forewarned, it's a slow and lengthy movie but filled with political elements which we can attest to these days, even though the events took place in the 1920s. Some things never changed. Sigh.

The movie revolves around a single mother Christine Collins (Angelina Jolie) who led a peaceful working class life until one faithful day her son went missing. Then entered the reluctant police force who were more concerned on maintaining a clean sheet of reputation rather than solving crimes in down town LA. After months of supposed frantic search for her missing son, the police came forward with a boy whom they insisted that the child was Christine's despite the latter's repeated denial. The reason? To show the press that the men in blue were serious in restoring confidence in its people amidst cries from certain quarters to rid the force from corruption and power abuse. The movie went on to trace Christine's heart breaking endeavor to keep searching for her real son. In the process, she was humiliated by the force and thrown into an asylum for questioning their duties. In return for her release, she was forced to admit in papers that the police did the right thing. Obviously, being a strong woman, she turned it down. While she continued to struggle against the law, a psychopath was busy kidnapping and butchering little boys. The story ended with Christine eventually triumphed over the corrupted force and an eventual death sentence for the psychopath. Her son however, remained to be found.

I particularly like one scene at the court when the prosecutor lashed out at the captain for repeatedly denying Christine's plea for help when they could have spent the precious time searching for her son instead. How true, isn't it? In short, it's an emotional roller coaster ride for Christine going against the overwhelming corrupted force in a simple bid to seek out her missing son. It depicts a mother's anguish and her never say die attitude in keeping her hopes alive, year after year. It's just so maternal.

If you are into something serious, Changeling is a good watch. Not as entertaining as Benjamin Button but the underlying message is enough to make you ponder...

Time for a Little Change

2009-01-27T18:29:00.008+08:00

The extensive festive holidays have given me more room and time to blog. While the rest of my family members are busy hoping from one house to another, I'm taking this rare opportunity to rest as much as possible before the grind returns to haunt me next week. It's a long break and will certainly take an equally lengthy effort for everyone to embrace the reality of returning to work. Till then, I'm definitely not neglecting my visits to the gym, especially taking advantage of the clear traffic these days. Looking for a parking spot at the gym is clearly a sweet breeze, albeit momentary.

After being stuffed with cookies, cakes, cocktails and home-made laksa at my aunt's yesterday, I returned to my beloved RPM this morning. It's been quite a while since I've done a back to back class and what a way to kick start my new year with BP followed by RPM, courtesy of FRI. As usual, her classes were never short of explosive but I do think that she needs to spend a little more time in recovering her momentum in BP after a long hiatus. Since it's only the 2nd day into the new year, I was expecting a rather empty class but I was so wrong. Surprisingly, there was a good attendance of members especially in RPM - more than 10, if I recall correctly.

I will try to attend FRI's RPM as much as possible within this week as I've decided to forgo her Friday's class effective next month. Since I'm eligible clock out at 6:00PM everyday, the class which commences an hour later is just too much of a rush for me. There are many Fridays when I managed to sneak out at exactly 6:00PM sharp but the traffic remains an inherent challenge for me in making to the class on time. I certainly do not wish to incorporate anymore reckless driving than I already do on a daily basis and hence, adhering to a reasonable schedule is obviously good to keep my blood pressure in check. Besides, I guess the change gives me a good reason to improvise my workout regime. I've been cycling far too much and it's about time to give my upper body a good shake. In replacement of Friday's RPM, I may check into Jaya's BC at 6:45pm.

Having reviewed my workout schedule for Feb'09, looks like I will be spending more evenings at Jaya instead of Taipan. I have vowed to be more careful on the road, especially after a series of unfortunate accidents, major and minor last year. It's better to be safe than sorry. After all, it's only exercise. One thing for sure, I do hope to see more interesting RPM instructors at Jaya. For as long as I can remember, instructors with regular slots have been given too many replacement classes at Jaya. Observing the same intonation from an instructor 3 to 4 times within a week is a real bore.

It's a hard decision to shelf my regular RPM on Fridays. Nonetheless, I do hope to excite my workout even more when I return to BC next month. I just need to tweak a little bit to incorporate a total body workout. BV next, perhaps?

Singlelicious for Red Packets

2009-01-26T15:05:00.005+08:00

The Ox has finally made it's majestic entrance into our lives today after weeks of shopping and house cleaning. Keeping the traditions alive with a little western twist, we celebrated our family reunion at the Chilis, Midvalley. After a wholesome dinner of fajitas, buffalo wings, country chicken, "firecracker" fish and grilled chicken Caesar salad, we proceeded to the cinema to catch Underworld : Rise of the Lycans. Watching a movie on CNY's eve has been a ritual for us since 3 years ago. My family is not extensive and thus, we prefer to keep our reunion activities simple but joyful.

The first day has always been an important day on the Lunar calender. Everyone is dressed to the nines with cackles of laughter filling the air, accompanied by trays and trays of delectable cookies, juices and to certain extent, lavish lunches complete with beers and some poker games to jack up the festive mood. For me, it's always a joy to catch up with my relatives, simply for their aunty tales and elderly jokes.

Finally, who can forget the red packets? It's always a joy to be on the receiving end of the little red packets. Hence, CNY remains one the many good reasons for singles to stay single. It's a privilege many married couples can only reminisce. It does not have to be exorbitant and certainly there's no age limit to fall into its eligibility. I've heard of embarrassment felt by certain aging single adults in receiving ang pows. I find it silly. Instead of being concerned, I'd rather reveled in the occasion where I can celebrate my singlehood with a little monetary pleasure which only comes once in a year.

Next stop, more yee sang and definitely a bigger pocket for my pretty little red packets :)

Shellfish and Sandals

2009-01-25T00:14:00.004+08:00

After shelving my stressful and tiring week, I decided to let myself loose this weekend with some good food and much needed quality time with my family. As expected, my sister pocketed a 5 figure annual bonus payout, after tax. Her bank account swelled overnight. I've managed to pinch a portion from her Fort Knox - a good consolation to make up for my missing bonus last year. Not a big amount but enough for me to pamper myself a bit with some light retail therapy.

To celebrate, we went for a delectable and scrumptious seafood dinner at La La Chong. We ordered two types of crabs - salted eggs and butter, accompanied by stir fried soy sauce prawns as well as my sister's all time favorite - la la in superior soup. Paku vegetable in tuna and fried rice made up our gastronomical indulgence for the evening.

After dinner, we headed straight to Sunway Pyramid hoping to secure a good bargain from some last minute CNY shopping. I'm still contemplating on a new pair of Adidas trainers. Alas, perhaps it's not an evening for me to splurge. I could not find anything economically attractive, at least to me. To some extent, I think Adidas and Nike trainers are ridiculously over-priced these days. Perhaps the latest hype of working out in style has given these two retail giants a valid reason to milk money from gym fashionistas. I, for one is guilty of being a victim.

OK. No Adidas but Hush Puppies? Yup, I finally found a pair of sandals priced at RM104.30 after 30% discount. For some reasons, I can't help but think that HP have been steadily increasing their price tags over the last couple of years. Hence, securing a rare 30% discount at HP is already a good bargain itself.

Happy with my new pair of sandals, we stopped by at Winter Warmers for ice tea and melted cheese with tuna on toasted biscuits. The tea was refreshing but nothing fantastic about the biscuits. No Starbucks, for once.

Shopping done. Now for CNY and some red packets. Yea!

A Forgetful Week

2009-01-24T13:31:00.005+08:00

Finally the weekend is here and I can hardly wait to welcome my week long break. While the yearly exodus of balik-kampung for city folks have begun, I'm definitely gonna enjoy some sweet serenity in Subang. No horrible traffic, no stupid drivers to jack up my blood pressure. Apart from the daily traffic torture, it's a week I would rather forget. Nothing went right for me. The pressure has started to pile on fast for sales professionals like us to bring in the cake amidst a gloomy economic downturn. Even my sales trip to Perak did not yield much result as every industry is struggling to stay afloat. Some even resorted to extreme cost cutting measures that had me seriously taken aback. Many companies have conjured up various ways to save cost. Most of the time, employes are at the losing end. In short, it's not exactly rosy for me this time round, as far as my market exploration in Perak is concerned.

One thing for sure, I can never forget the amount of rubber I burnt traveling through almost every remote industrial area where trucks and lorries were the kings of the dusty and narrow roads. Oh yes, there's also plenty of cows, buffaloes and goats to greet me on the way. Nonetheless, it's the business prospects that mattered most to me. Of course, retail therapy is always there to soothe a broken heart. After checking in to Heritage Hotel, I went for a simple meal at Ipoh Parade and then some light shopping for CNY, before heading back to the hotel with a couple of tea-eggs for supper. The next morning, it was business as usual - burning more rubber till late evening before bidding goodbye to the land of Tambun cookies. Overall outcome from almost all the prospects have not been very optimistic. Lower output means lesser demand for freight needs. Same time, the crunch is here to meet my dreadful quarterly targets. BIG sigh.

Times are really bad. Seriously. I can only pray harder for a miracle. Everyone is worried to bits and doubtful. The global recession is really eating us up with little solace in sight. Some are hopeful that the year of the Ox would bring back bullish times and sooth many bitter hearts.

In short, it's been a forgetful week for me. I've gone through a week full of stress and dysfunctional times at work. My anger has returned to haunt me on the road. I feel annoyed easily these days. I'm just so glad that my long break is finally here for me to recharge. I feel tired.

After 4 days of neglect, I returned to RPM yesterday and never felt so tired on the bike before. My mind went wandering far away whilst FRI blasted the speakers with some old tracks. It was a good workout nevertheless. I ended my evening with a wholesome steamboat buffet with a couple of gym members and FRI at Sunway. Nonetheless, I can still feel the pressure creeping in bit by bit and by the time CNY is over, all hell will break loose.

Will Mr Ox give us hope? I seriously hope so. Till then, I shall continue to pray.

Making Lemonade out of Lemons

2009-01-17T12:13:00.007+08:00

Time seems to travel faster than a speeding bullet train these days. It's been nearing to a good 5 months since I stepped into my new portfolio in the express industry. I had steep a mountain to climb when I first started and I still have to deal with bitter sweet challenges at work, given the industry downtime at the moment. Looking back, I had struggled hard with my assimilation into a slightly different industry after "swimming" in the ocean for a good dose of 8 years. I still get frustrated at work once awhile, especially when I have to deal with difficult co-workers and all the colorful intricacies of corporate regulations in getting a job done as swiftly as possible. It's a daily "chore". I've worked with different companies and each has its unique management style but one thing for sure - we cannot escape our frustrations attending to work issues and the challenges of embracing certain "rotten tomatoes" whom, for some reasons have the uncanny capacity to make our lives more complicated than it already is. We cannot change people's mentality, nor always influence a situation to our advantage. Hence, in a corporate world, you just need to make lemonade out of whatever lemons life hands you.

Nonetheless, despite the occasional frustrations at work, I've been doing pretty well in mingling socially with my co-workers. There is no doubt, work generally turn us into monsters when complications and mis-understandings arise but we are humans after all. At the end of the day, we just laughed it off. Most importantly, we need to learn how to enjoy our times at work and not merely bury our noses in notebooks, struggling frantically to meet datelines and what have you. Work is dead. The expectations of management will always be implanted in any job scopes. The idea is to have fun with our jobs, knowing that the sun still rises the very next day. The question is, how easy is this? Do we work for money or joy? I wished I knew. Even the rats take time off to hibernate and we termed ourselves in the so-called rate race all the time.

Yearning....

2009-01-14T22:32:00.007+08:00

As expected, I received a couple of calls from friends upon reading my entry about LOVE. They interrogated me as if I've committed a first degree murder, a multiple homicide. I just laughed it off as a mere, innocent entry about the big four letters. I've not fallen in and out of love. At least for now. Although a not so distant confession still pretty much linger in my mind but it's a thing of the past. Blunders come and go. We just need to learn and embrace the outcome with open arms. I may have dissapointed my curious friends who's been looking forward to see me get all lovey dovey but I'm glad that my entry has stoked such interest and deep curiosity.

Blame it on a romantic and mushy tune on the radio. The title of the song - "If wishes came true". I don't know the name of the artiste but the song is an old one; probably recorded in the 80s. It left a profoundly mushy feeling in me and hence, I just decided to blog out the mysteries of love. The bitter sweets of falling in love. A friend once told me that I have a "gift" for deciphering the lyrics while listening but there are times when I just sit back and enjoy the tune without paying much attention to the words. Yes - that particular song really had me lost in some ga-ga land of love.

I'm sure you have experienced such mushy feelings listening to some romantic tunes. One time or another. I must admit, it really soothed my heart that evening. It's been awhile since I last heard such masterpiece from the 80s. So rare that you don't really get amazing love songs these days - songs that can leave you yearning for your love one, bringing back sweet memories of being in love. It does not matter if you've fallen out of love. It does not matter if it's unrequited love. The feeling of being in love, at least for once is what makes us human. Express our desires, our deepest feelings. We only have one chance in life to risk it all.

What is Love?

2009-01-13T22:27:00.007+08:00

Have you ever been in love? Do you remember the first time you fell madly and hopelessly in love? Everything and everyone around you just seemed so distant when you're stung by the bug. You feel helpless and float aimlessly without the one by your side. Your mind is constantly lost in sweet memories of togetherness. Have you ever yearned for the good times spent together remained frozen in time? Do you wake up every morning hoping to catch a glimpse of your beloved one? Have you ever been in love? Have you?

You must be wondering if I have found the love of my life. I guess the answer is a big no but I'm hopeful. I have seen friends fallen in and out of love. Stolen hearts and broken hearts are aplenty but I can tell you, my friends - finding love is the one thing everyone should experience in his or her lifetime. Love remains a mystery. The feeling of being in love or in some cases, a mere crush can do crazy things to the human mind and ultimately, our delicate hearts. Love can move mountains and turn bitter hearts into sweet honey. Love makes you walk on air. Love makes you feel many pounds lighter.

Some are free to love but some are left with little options in expressing their love openly. Tragedy befalls upon those with unrequited love. Miserable and heartbroken, the world seemed gloom and doom. Every little corner is a dead end, a shadow. The heart is ripped with little hope of moving on. Every morning is a sunset. Every little candy turned into bitter pills.

Love lifts and hurts. What is love?

Farewell...

2009-01-12T23:01:00.004+08:00

Looks like Taipan's regular RPM slot at 2:15pm on Sundays will finally meet its demise soon next month. Not sure how true it is but since an instructor dropped the bomb today, I guess the info should be pretty accurate. It's just a matter of time before the slot is being shoved aside since the class generally receives lukewarm response from members. For as along as I can remember, the slot has never chalked up more than 7 members. It's lazy Sundays for everyone after all.

As for me, I will have to re-organize my Sunday workout schedule. In the past 3 years with TF, I have been faithfully attending the slot, usually after my regular dose of kaya toast and xi mut milk tea at a nearby kopitiam. Looks like I may have to spend a little more on tea to catch the 5pm class instead...or just go home after church and give my workout a break on lazy Sundays. Sigh...guess it's really not good news for me after all.

Goodbye my dear old 2:15 slot....:(

Scrumber Eggs, Anyone?

2009-01-09T23:36:00.007+08:00

Stumbled upon this a couple of days ago at a shopping mall and decided to give it a try....turned out be SCRAMBLED eggs....ahhh...I see...I see...wow! Ever wondered why we are generally so blatantly ignorant of tasteless grammatical error? A sales gimmick? Well then, the dish didn't taste as bad. Perhaps I was hungry...

Back to Reality

2009-01-06T22:02:00.006+08:00

Reality has finally landed. Everyone is back to the grind. As I greeted the lovely morning dew on Monday, I expected the typically nasty traffic to be...well, nasty. Alas - to my utter horror, the traffic in Subang was in total chaos! A massacre, literally. The long queue at the freaking traffic lights seemed endless with impatient pea brain drivers flouting every imaginable traffic offense without a tiny tinge of consideration for other road users...and yes - the flock of the aunty drivers are back with their couldn't care less, pathetic driving skills with huge, menacing, bee-liked sunglasses, even though the sun was not shining. I was expecting a bad traffic on the first day of school. Hence, I dragged myself out of bed 30 min earlier than usual. It made no difference. There are just too many cars in Subang and the freaking number of traffic lights compounded the situation even further, let alone the typically rotten attitude of drivers and motorcyclists.

My journey has been extremely challenging as I worked to tame my anger amidst a chaotic morning. You see, one of my resolutions for 2009 is to manage my temper which has been notoriously exploding every now and then back in 2008 with not so pretty consequences. I was determined to suppress my irritation and constantly turned my attention to a couple of boring deejays on the radio with their so called hit list. Sure, I sort of lost it a bit here and there but I managed to pull myself back together. Constantly reminding myself that imbeciles are ALWAYS on the road. I finally reached the office with an empty stomach. Lost my appetite that very morning. Made a cuppa of caffeine and went straight to work.

Time just whizzed by at work with a couple of appointments with clients and some paperwork back in the office. No interesting instructors for the evening so I skipped my routine Monday workout. I had wanted to catch Combat at Taipan but instead of prancing around working on the jabs and round house kicks, I headed straight home for mum's home cooked porridge with sauteed peanuts. Humble dish but simply delicious. My dessert? A couple of Toblerone's mini chocolate bars to wrap up the evening. The power of food over workout? Can't beat that, at least for me.

I was expecting the same pathetic traffic this morning and so I greeted the first ray of light 30 mins earlier than usual. Kinda sick with all the nasi lemak and roti canai for breakfast so I pinched a slice of coffee cake from the fridge and headed straight out to brave my morning woes. To my very surprise, I reached the office much, much earlier than before despite the horrid traffic. Amazing. My rest of the day - the usual stuff...no interesting hunks, no 20 mil jackpot. Just work with a paycheck at the end of the month. Looking forward to CNY and another long break...yea.

Right. Am I boring you already? Good, because I am. Goodnight.

Things To Do Before I Die

2009-01-03T18:42:00.012+08:00

As 2009 kicks in, I will be celebrating my 34th birthday in May. I'm not afraid to blurt out my age as I've always believed that it is just numbers and the fact that we should be looking forward in growing old gracefully and brave the senses that everyone cannot prevent the numbers from creeping in year after year. Instead of sweeping the realities of aging under the carpet like some people do, I'd be more than happy to share my age with everyone else. Similarly, there's no hesitation on my part to be upfront with my marital status at this age. I mean, what's the issue with being single as we grow older? It's all about fulfilling life's destiny without having to conform robotically to society's norms. Mainstream? Deadwood? I live and breathe my own.

A friend once asked me a very basic question about my directions in life and what are the things I would've loved to do before I meet my final destiny. May sound simple to some but honestly, have you ever thought about it? I mean, for as long as I've been walking my life's journey, I have not exactly stopped by to think about the things I would have loved to do before I breathe my last. It got me thinking. There are so many things - traveling, backpacking, falling in love and the list goes on. Too many and yet with limited capacity or in certain cases, fate just does not permit it. I've been working like a donkey all these years and never really did justice to myself in fulfilling my heart's desire, except for once - in allowing my heart to do the real talking but I was dicing with uncertainties. It was not meant to be, anyway.

So! What do I wanna do before I die? I have a list here, not in any particular order:

Visit Bethlehem, birth place of my Lord Jesus
Sign up for an archeological expedition with a renowned university for a year
Visit every single historical site in the world with cultural significance to humanity
Catch another concert by The Corrs
A day out with the Corrs siblings in Dublin
Ride on the Orient Express
Backpack across Europe
Sail along the Nile
Fall in love without fear
Spend days bathing in the sun at the Maldives with my soul mate
Sleigh ride across Alaska with a bunch of adorable huskies

Some of the above may seem too distant, or even perhaps impossible in this lifetime. I wish I could just throw everything behind and jump at every single opportunity available....I wish.

Of course, most of these are exotic to some but there are also many people out there with wishes as simple as having a cheese burger or even a roof over their heads and having enough food to beat the day. We ought to count our blessings. Even if I may not be able to fulfill all of the above in this lifetime, I would not trade my existence for another.

A New Year Unveiled with Benjamin Button

2009-01-02T22:47:00.011+08:00

The much anticipated new year celebration has come and gone. Everyone was extremely excited on new year's eve, babbling endlessly on different ways to ushered in a brand new year with fireworks, inhouse parties, getting cosy with rest of the revellers at shopping malls and to some, simply spending a quiet evening at home glued to the tube with packets of junk food at arm's length. I, for one belonged to the last category. Well, not entirely. Instead of getting smashed up at crowded shopping malls, I decided to spend some quality time with my family. We had dinner and adjourned to a quaint little shopping center in Subang for a walk, hoping to catch a glimpse of some form of light celebration. Nothing. So we just strolled along for some window shopping. After burning more than RM200 on a purse in Singapore, I decided to keep my shopping urge at bay and bought some dvds instead. What better way to spend some time catching up on some movies, I thought. Heck, I decided to get all cosy with Mr Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Along with it - Changeling (with Ms Jolie) and Ip Man (with the ever impeccable Donnie Yen).

I've been waiting patiently for Benjamin Button to hit our shores. What luck! I need not wait after all. Armed with a remote and a trusty pillow, I snuggled up in bed and watch Mr Button's tale unveiled while the rest of the nation went oohh and ahhh at the strike of 12 am.

For those not in the know, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button which is based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, is about - well, Benjamin who was born under unusual circumstances. You see, the poor chap was born old (about 80 years old) and aged backwards. We followed Benjamin's life unfold from the time he was born an old man in 1918 and abandoned by his daddy till his "youthful" death many years later into the present - as a baby. Now, the idea of the movie of aging backwards is kinda hard to comprehend but interestingly enough, the director - David Fincher did a really fine job in spinning the chronological orders of Benjamin's life, decade by decade as if you were breathing and living the character with all its life's intricacies. So much so that you would be questioning the reality of such oddities. Benjamin's bitter sweet experience in living the realities of his life never bored me a bit despite the extremely lengthy run of the entire movie - slightly more than 2 hours, I think. It's a sad ending. Benjamin never really had a perfectly rosy life to grow old with his loved ones like everyone else. As a matter of fact, the last scene where he finally breathed his last as a baby in his lover's cradle is so profoundly and hauntingly shot that I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Really sad. Side tracking a bit, Brad Pitt undeniably looked yummy as a young man in his teens and early adulthood. You will be taken in by his transformation from an old man to a baby. Simply captivating and memorable. There's light humor thrown in here and there but the movie is worth a watch, at least for me.

Benjamin is one of the most controversial movies I've watched in ages. It deals with the realities of being born different...how a woman braved the unimaginable by adopting an ugly looking baby and raised him with tender loving care despite his abnormalities...how one is not able to spend the rest of his life with his woman and watch his daughter grow old...all his sacrifices and pain. No one is perfect. Even if one is born ridiculously dashing as Mr Pitt, not one single human being is born without imperfections. Our lives are drafted in a concoction of good and bad. How we deal with our setbacks and imperfections - all depends on our mentality and outlook in life. One may be rich but not happy. One may be poor but content. How is that so? The human mind has an unprecedented and unspeakable capacity to change circumstances if we allow it to be. Look at ourselves - are we ever satisfied with our lives? Are you? How do you intend to look at things more positively despite setbacks and disappointments? Frankly, I have been trying to be optimistic about things. Trust me - it's been hard for me, as far as 2008 is concerned. I've gone through a roller coaster year and would be more than glad to leave the crappy year behind me and look forward to smashing brand new year - hopefully, with less expectations.

My Christmas Break

2008-12-29T22:57:00.006+08:00

It is an understatement to say that time flies! My holidays in Singapore are over and now I'm back to work. Shucks!! I could've wished for a longer break but alas, reality is reality. No doubt about it. Well then, I had a much deserved break in Singapore and thoroughly enjoyed my holidays despite the ridiculously huge and rowdy crowd.

I've been visiting Orchard Road without fail since 1988 and thus, this year is no exception. It's like a ritual for me. My favorite regular stopovers are Takashimaya and Paragon, two of Singapore's most enduring shopping malls at Orchard apart from Wisma Atria which, for some reasons I've decided to skip it this time round. As expected, a giant Christmas tree stood majestically at the heart of Takashimaya amidst a relatively simple decor just outside the building. The island's economic downturn is evident as many malls had toned down significantly on Christmas decors. Nonetheless, the sale the must go on! Despite putting on the prudent cap, revelers and shoppers alike still went on a rampage at branded stores like LV and Hugo Boss with long queues of anxious shoppers waiting to grab the best deals available. Never mind a simple LV coin purse costs a mind blowing SGD500. Retail therapy is the order of the evening for many Singaporeans.

I too needed some retail therapy of my own. I had wanted to get a new purse and thus, headed straight to Takashimaya. The scene at every counter on sale was akin to a refugee camp. After looking around with a bottle of minyak angin in my pocket, I finally stumbled upon a Braun Buffel counter with 20% discount cardboard hung above a row of not so neatly arranged wallets and purses. Aunties were all over the counter. It was chaotic - as if Mr Braun himself was giving his masterpieces away for free. I had to squeeze myself into the crowd, bit by bit. I finally got myself a nice black leather purse for SGD111.20 after discount which is about RM265. It may be exorbitant for a piece of purse but I just wanted to get a durable and long lasting one for my own good. My last most expensive purse was from Kenneth Cole at RM190. Loved it so much that I accidentally dropped it into a filthy longkang when I was busy stuffing myself with fish ball noodles. It was the most horrendous day of my life. I'm never going back to the fish ball stall with my new baby.
I'm also SGD440 poorer now with new tires for my car. Since my work involves extensive traveling, it's just high time for me to change the rubbers. Opted for Yokohama which is softer for better grip on rainy days. Well, like what my bro said - one cannot be too thrifty when comes to safety. No more Goodyear for me. No exaggeration but I feel like I'm driving a hovercraft with the new babies.

Apart from good old retail therapy, filling the stomach was the order of the day. We ate and ate and ate. I seriously lost count on the calories intake. I had so much fried food that I just feel bloated by the time I got home. We had Thai, Chinese, Western, Indian and the list goes on. For the 1st time, I bravely tucked into a plate of fried yam cake with sweet sauce and I must admit, it tasted not as bad as I thought...you know...fried yam cake with SWEET sauce? I've always had reservations in dining at Singapore's hawker centers as the tastes are typically bland - at least to me. I'm sure you've heard of how Singaporeans had been encouraged to lessen the amount of salt and ajinomoto in their cooking for health reasons. Well, then - the food did not come across as bad this time round. Oh ya - did I mention MOS burger? I'm hooked on their fish burger. Yummy! You gotta try their signature rice burgers. Simply awesome!

Well, all good times have to come to an end. I had a blast in Singapore. I hope you had a good break as well. Now, back to work...boo hoo hoo! :(((

Secret Santa

2008-12-26T10:40:00.006+08:00

Happy Boxing Day everyone! Bet everyone, young and old are busy unwrapping their Christmas gifts and having a jolly good time doing it. What did you get this year? Well, I got a Pendrive from my colleague and wholesome Christmas lunch from Bro and co. in Singapore. My brother decided to just throw me an extremely sinful and heavy Thai lunch on Christmas day since I'm a sucker for Thai cuisine, especially Tom Yum. How sinful it was indeed!! Well, more on my Christmas holidays in Singapore later.

As you already know, it is generally a must-haves Christmas gifts exchange party amongst colleagues and this year is no exception - we had Secret Santa. I had my share back in Maersk and OOCL. This time, it's a rather small affair as the ceremony only involved a few departments with common interests in the S&M division as we could not possibly include everyone as the division is just too huge.

Anyway, it was a blast as everyone had a fabulously crazy time collecting their gifts, not knowing their Secret Santas and best of all, teased every item unwrapped - from Hush Puppies briefs to thumdrives to even the outrageous mobile gambling set, complete with a betting "table". Each item cost above RM30 which is the minimum budget - a reasonable amount to ensure gifts are in "acceptable" manner and nothing too cheap. Sure, you may say that it's the thought that counts but then again, we are all adults. Let me tell you, I have once received a school exercise book with a kilometrico pen at my previous company. I seriously don't remember where I stashed it.

Back to present co., everyone was extremely pleased with their gifts, especially my boss who received an attractive Adidas' AC Milan jersey. He was the envy of everyone that evening. Bet the jersey costs more than RM50. I mean, we are talking about Adidas here, you know. We obviously lost ourselves that evening and had to be asked to toned down by our Sales Director. Well, guess we are all kids at heart :))

Some of us then adjourned to dÍtalian Kitchen at Jaya 33 for dinner. I had Agli Scampi - my favourite dish with Honey Tea Latte and the rest went for everything and anything Salmon. One tucked into his favourite Lamb Shank. We were the notoriously loud bunch that evening.

Well then, it was good. Everyone enjoyed the evening and went home grinning from ear to ear.

All Hail Lady Croft!

2008-12-24T21:29:00.010+08:00

Guess what? Lara is back. Lara who? Yea - Lara Croft, the hot, adventurous and globe trotting archaeology who goes around exotic locations in search of long lost artifacts - my all time favorite video game character. This time, she appears in Tomb Raider : Underworld, following previous installments of Legend and Anniversary. Although I do not go tomb raiding no more with Lara like I used to when I was in uni, the sights and sounds of Lady Croft traversing inhospitable terrains across all continents are already enough to get me all excited. Why? Simple. A slight mention of Lara Croft, synonymously tagged to Tomb Raider reminds me of my good old days back in the late 1990s when my brother first introduced me to the character and more excitingly, the game. My folks forewarned me that video games were notoriously infectious. How true! I remember spending close to 6 hours a day non stop flicking my fingers on the controls oblivious to the "outside" world. I would get long lectures from mum for my insatiable obsession with a little tiny character on my PC running around. Obsessed? Understatement. I was completely sucked into Lady Croft's world! Nonetheless, having cooked up in my room for a straight 6 hours, really had taken much toll on me. I remember retiring to my bed with terrible headaches every time. I had no regrets 'cos I loved the games to bits!

I would get rather personal whenever I failed to kill off a big baddie or unintentionally placed Lara in a tight situation which required extreme measures to manuever her way out. I remember getting frustrated and banged the table whenever I failed to complete a task. Well then, of course there's sweet memories of emerging triumphant when I managed to solve a puzzle or two as well as helping Lara escape from tricky situations. I've never enjoyed the timed movement sequence which required Lara to complete a task within given seconds, especially when she's riding a bike. She would constanyly get crashed against a wall of get thrown off the cliff. Yea...imagine my frustrations. Oh, by the way - she would let out a helpless wail on her demise.

It is hard to describe my utter satisfaction whenever I complete each level. All the broken bones, bruises, gun wounds and even getting mauled by a tiger - all worth the journey to eternity in locating the ONE lost artifact.

Tomb Raider is particularly appealing to me as I've always been drawn to History and Archaeology. Though in reality, an archaeologist life may not be as exotic as Lara's or even Indy's, - getting absorbed in the world of ancient and medieval adventures have always been my fantasies and Tomb Raider has never failed to delivered just that.

Here's wishing everyone a blessed Christmas!

How's Your 2008?

2008-12-22T19:09:00.002+08:00

Once again, we bid farewell to another uninteresting Monday with little activities to comment apart from just work, work, work and more work. Given the long holidays looming around the corner, it is natural that everyone is not in the right frame of mind to get things done the way it should be. Everyone is thinking about the long break and more over, the holiday spirit has very well kicked in already. Customers are unusually nice and accomodating. Who is not? Everyone typically looks forward to a break - a long one to rehcarge from a year long of headaches and heartaches. Above all, the curtains are coming down on 2008. Another year is fast fading to make way for a brand new start in life.

Has it ever dawned upon you that 2008 just whizzed by? I still remember celebrating the new year with my friend at TGIF, sec 14 back in 2007. We decided to have a quiet celebration instead of getting sandwiched at some head-spinning, sweaty, smelly new year celebration parties in town. Called us old, whatever. I still remember the streets were eerily quiet and abandoned as we toasted away to welcome a prosperous 2008 - "fatt", get it? We then adjourned to Starbucks for some hot chocolate. Yea. It was serene and peaceful. Those days of jiving and shaking our booties are long gone.

Have you achieved anything worthwhile in 2008? I've been asked many times. Looking back, I don't think so. My year has been a roller-coaster ride as far as my career is concerned. Things were neither rosy nor bitter. I've made changes in my career but I do believe there's still room to enrich my social and spiritual growth. I've regretted certain things in the past but I can only look back and tell myself that life goes on no matter what. There is no point in staying stagnant and holding on to issues that may not propel you ahead. 2008 is fast fading and 2009 can hardly wait to knock on our doors. Sure, I could have done this and that in 2008 but in general, I do not have any regrets. We cannot escape our destiny and fate will eventually determines our next path in life. We just need to embrace our past experience with grace and learned from our mistakes.

As for me, I'm still pondering on my new year resolution and not bothered at all how 2008 "treated" me. I just feel blessed that I still have my loved ones with me to celebrate yet another new year. Nothing is more important your family and friends. And yes, not forgetting our Friend up there who never failed with His unwavering love.

Ok...time for my RPM now.

Would You Challenge This?

2008-12-21T22:48:00.005+08:00

I missed church again today - got up at 10:30am and figured I'd be late for my 11:00am Sunday service, especially after breakfast. Hence, I took sometime to pray at home instead. After a wholesome breakfast of roti jala with chicken curry, I reluctantly checked into my assignments and prospects. Working on a Sunday? $#@%. After completing my deadlines, I headed to Old Town for my usual grub before moving on to my typical RPM slot on Sundays. I had a cup of hot honey lemon tea and garlic bread instead of my normal pick of white milk tea with kaya toast.

As I flipped through the papers, one particular article caught my attention. It's a small article parked under the global pullout. I find it rather interesting as it has a profound meaning to women these days - unmarried women to be exact. To put it crudely, unmarried women are normally referred to as spinsters. I've never took a liking to that word as it has an underlying insult to the female population. Women who are not married when they touch 30s or 40s are considered "deviant". WTF. It's totally distasteful and downright nonsensical to state that a woman who is not married when she reaches a ripe age of 30s/40s is either wrong in the mind or a homosexual. What's more - the article pointed out that in one particular country, it is against religion for not settling down when a woman crosses the so called "borderline". Trash.

To be honest, it is a sad fact that we are so judged my mainstream expectation and constantly maneuvered around by societal norms. When we "stray" from the traditional system which has been set so rigidly by our forefathers, we are considered to have violated cultural norms and ultimately become a target of detest by certain section of our society. There is no doubt that women these days place heavier emphasis on careers as opposed to marrying early in life. We have more women calling the shots at corporate power houses and by large extent, more capable of self sustenance. It is sad to note many people still label women who are not married at a certain "customary" age as "something wrong somewhere". Why? Are we so caught up with traditional mainstream expectation that we are required to jump into marriage even if it's not possible for a happy union ultimately? Are our lives so dictated by society's expectation to have women get hitched at a certain age range, prescribed by the masses? I know of many people who married for the sake of marrying and foolishly in obligation to their parents to tie the knot, only to regret their decisions later. With modern times fast catching up, more and more women are aware of their potentials and capabilities beyond the kitchen and labor rooms. As such, traditional norms are challenged. If a woman do not settle down by a certain age, she is considered "expired". What are women? Canned food?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against the idea of marriage. I would have loved to meet the soul mate of my life and ultimately walk down the aisle in a happy union. Time is only a factor and I'm in no hurry to take the plunge. If the time is right, I will not escape my destiny. Investing in a happy union between two loving souls is not dictated by time line but rather, fate. Expired or not.

Another Weekend and An Interesting RPM Dude

2008-12-19T22:56:00.006+08:00

The weekend is finally here. Above all else, Christmas is just around the corner. A group of youngsters, probably belonging to a nearby church, singing Christmas carols just outside my house as I write. Serenading the neighborhood with their vocal talents, they marched up and down my lorong with happy, jolly jingles. Never mind the looming, gloomy credit crunch. Tis' the season to lighten up and get soaked in the yuletide spirit of caring and giving. The happy faces on these fine young people are indeed a refreshing sight from all the depressing articles in the papers on redundancies and job losses. No doubt this year's celebration has significantly scaled down in terms of lavish decors by commercial operators but one thing for sure, Christmas is always here to stay, whatever the situation.

My workweek had indeed whizzed by very swiftly with little time to catch my breath in between. Appointments, deadlines, prospects and the list goes on. Well then, at least I managed to slot in some deserving workout in between - RPM, naturally. Despite a tiring day, I decided to do the unthinkable - to catch FRI's RPM Challenge. I've heard that her challenge classes can be extremely grueling if she's at her best, even for Combat. What a grueling class it was. She had the members gasping for air in between tracks. In short, it was a slaughter house but in a fashionable way. I was just looking forward to shed the extra kilos gained from my rojak-cendol lunch.

We had more male then female members yesterday and one particular dude significantly stood out from the rest. A self proclaimed outdoor cyclist, he came "dressed to the nines"- in his Dynamo squeaky white cycling suits (probably brand new), complete with a pair of sunglasses and a bandanna. Wait - a pair of sunglasses? Well, it's more of a visor but hey, NOBODY wears shades in a gym. Well then, he really looked as if he was going for an outdoor mountain climb. By the way, he's also new to RPM and yesterday was his first class. FRI cracked an amusing message, albeit a rather innocent one when she explained that the difference between RPM and outdoor cycling is that "cyclist" do not go anywhere in RPM...How spot on...Anyway, his visor only served so much when he took it off halfway through the class. I guess I will be seeing more of this dude in RPM.

I had another RPM by FRI today at Taipan. This time, it's to lose the grams gained from my mee goreng lunch. Now this is one reason why my weight loss has been hitting a plateau lately - I probably eat more than I lose and those never ending crave for cupcakes...sigh. As expected, it was another grueling, butchering class with lotsa sweat, pain and guts with the red dial. Oh, I'm so hating that $#@% track 5 made popular by Queen. I've always dreaded that one. Throw me anything but that.

Yep, it was another power packed class. Hence, I had a good reason to reward myself with a mouthful dinner of Ramlee burger *wink*. I was so looking forward to sink my teeth into my cheesy dinner when my boss called. Alas, I have to attend to some assignments during my weekend. Darn...On a second thought, I might as well get over with the assignments before another workweek dawns upon me with more deadlines and appointments. But first, I need to get a haircut.

Lesson Learned and a Rosy Nosy

2008-12-17T21:47:00.005+08:00

The weekend is fast approaching and I can hardly wait to welcome my Friday morning mist once again. Apart from being the very first sign of a typically good weekend break ahead, Fridays are generally synonymous with chirpy, cheerful workmates and accomodative customers, even from the typically difficult and annoying ones. In short, Friday is everything Monday is not. Alas, as I write - am still living and breathing the sights and sounds of a Wednesday....I'm counting the days...the days to Christmas and a blasting new year ahead.

Whilst the days are within reach, I'm still pretty much working hard (as always, *wink*) in securing my biggest break. In the past couple of days, my schedule had been lined up tight with appointments after appointments, bumping my way on the dusty roads from Westport to Shah Alam and braving blood-spitting traffic in downtown. Let's not even go into the lackadaisical attitude and $#@% driving skills of our proud fellow countrymen (and women, especially). Sigh...I'm still sooooo trying to manage my anger on the road. Sometimes, I just wished I have the license to operate a cement truck and everyone will be outta my way in seconds! I know, I know...am too angelic to be one silly road bully. I shall leave the job to those with their brains fried.....do they even have any in the first place????!!

Nonetheless, time heals, they say and how true it is. I've been so dissapointed and upset over a customer who took me around the bush for one whole freaking month with their empty promises, only to break the news I dreaded most. What frustrates me is the fact that I've invested huge amount of energy and time in getting these people on board. After all the nonsense I've gone through in grappling with the ultimate reality that this particular piece of work would not bear any fruit, I've decided to turn my focus to other worthy prospects. Well, like what my superior said - do not despair, the market is big, customers aplenty. Hence, I've decided to shelf this customer and continued on with better prospects in helping me to reach my targets next year. Keeping fingers crossed...honestly, this episode had really taken a toll on me - I'm hating the gardens even more now....hmmph!

The days just whizzed by this week. Hardly had any time to stop and smell the flowers with loadful of assignments and deadlines. And yes....my old friend Mr Sinus had to strike to today, wrecking my entire day. I've never felt so agitated in front of a customer before, thanks to my itching, sneezy nose. I had to hold back all possible sneezes throughout the entire meeting and finally released one at the end of our discussion. Even that, I had to make a "mild" sneeze....can't go blowing and twitching my nose with Kleenex like I usually do at home. That would sound like a hippo on the loose. Freaking nose!!! Once the stupid sinus attacks, my whole day is wrecked and I would go walking around like Rudolph...damn...Even as I write now, I'm still wrapping won tons....damn those %$#@ mucus. Where do all these mucus come from anyway? It's like Niagara Falls....only thicker....:))

Right...I have to go now. My eyes are bulgy, nose rosy and hair pointy....it's always a mess when Mr Sinus comes a knocking, you see. Praying for a better day tomorrow. Good night, folks!

Evolution in Life

2008-12-14T16:13:00.007+08:00

Another weekend is fast approaching its final hours and it's back to the grind again tomorrow. I had a particularly lazy day and took the opportunity to unwind as much possible before returning to my corporate battlefield once again. After seeking forgiveness from my good Lord for skipping morning service, I headed straight to Old Town for my usual dose of xi mut tea, kaya toast and the day's latest news before moving on to my regular RPM later in the afternoon.

As expected, the gym was extremely quiet with only a handful of members in the 2:15pm slot. Nevertheless, FRI never failed to deliver a superbly power packed class despite a small turnout. Yes, she tortured and pushed us to the limit with her favorite "insane" track. Thank goodness the infamous "night train" never made its way to the station today. Such a pity that FRI is not teaching Pump - I think she would definitely make an equally explosive impact with the members as she does in RPM. Well then....

I need to start injecting variation to my workout apart from just cycle my mind off week in, week out. Seriously need to resume my BP and BC soon. The only issue is the availability of interesting instructors to spur up my passion once again. I have nothing against the choice of BP/BC instructors these days but I must admit that certain ones are so dry on stage. They can almost put you to sleep while lying on your back pumping your chicken wings. Go figure...

Anyway, gym aside - one particular article on NST caught my attention and made me dwell deeper into the meaning of friendship. The writer touched on the subject of alumni reunion with ex-schoolmates and ultimately it's the significance of making friendship works just as in any relationships with our spouse or loved ones. Over the years, I had a good amount of gatherings with my ex-schoolmates. We've seen each other grown into working adults and mothers with different expectations as well as priorities in life. As we move on in life, our social circle becomes smaller as we find a lot of our ex-schoolmates start to drift away to focus on their families and less time for gatherings. It takes a whole lot of great efforts to maintain the ties which we had built upon so earnestly when we were young back in the old days. There's always this little effort to spark the reminisces of sweet memories to bring them back time and again. Yea, our priorities change over time - no more spending as little as RM5.00 on NKOTB or Tommy Page posters but instead, milk powder is the priority on the grocery list these days for my married pals. Funny - it's just the natural evolution of life, don't you agree?

Naturally, I feel lost at times being single amongst a group of mothers who spend the entire time at gatherings exchanging tips on motherhood. Nonetheless, nothing beats the laughter conjured when we spoke of our silly antics back in the good old school days - our teachers, the classrooms, subjects taught and everything in between.

It takes a lot of effort to organize reunions and keeping in touch over the years. We tend to get lost in our daily battles at work and family obligations but we are never far from our memories which put us where we are today. To a certain and underlying extent, childhood friends remain an influential factor in our growing up years. Reunions have never failed to allow us to travel back in time and be ourselves again, minus the ugly uniforms.

Hibernation

2008-12-14T01:16:00.004+08:00

It has been a long time since I last hibernated at home without stepping out of the house for the entire day. I don't remember sleeping for more than 12 hours in a stretch with little regards to the blaring alarm by my bedside - abusing the snooze feature is my forte these days. Getting lost in my sleep had never been that good. My ma would certainly disapprove of such unhealthy indulgence had she been around yesterday morning. Must really thank pa for dragging her out for some early morning shopping at the grocer and thus, leaving me at peace with my beauty sleep. Elsewhere, sis was away busy snapping photos with her colleagues for some promotional advert for her company and hence, it was indeed dead silence at home and even the surrounding neighborhood. A perfect day to pamper myself in deep snooze till noon. I had wanted to catch an early morning RPM class at 10:00am but I've decided to scrap it following an overwhelming temptation to remain wrapped up in my sheets for as long as possible.

I woke up at 12:00pm sharp. Cooked myself a bowl of simmering hot instant curry noodle and had the last piece of Beard Papa cream puff, bought 2 days ago at Midvalley. Life seemed to hover at an extremely slow pace after breakfast cum lunch. No interesting activities - browsed the net, updated my blog and then off to sleep again - an afternoon siesta amidst an afternoon downpour. Got up at 6:00pm, ordered Domino's pizza and plopped in front of the tube for almost 3 hours, switching in between channels. Nothing interesting on TV, so I visited Facebook again and watched some MTVs on Youtube.

A very dull day indeed.

Friday Jitters and Free Dinner

2008-12-13T13:27:00.007+08:00

The weekend is here again after a short and forgettable work week. As predicted, many city folks decided to extend their blissful holiday for another day whilst a section of society, like moi returned to slog their necks off at work. I was literally dragging my feet out of the house - having a day off smacked right in the midst of a work week is definitely not a pleasant idea after all. It's just one of those days when the mind is not in union with the body and hence, you find your mind wandering off aimlessly at Bora Bora Island whilst your limbs worked robotically at the gears on the way to work. I felt jittery at work yesterday, worrying again over my KPIs for the upcoming year. It does not help when the market is softening with little service inquiries and demands from customers. Everything looks rather bleak. This is especially so when customers themselves appeared depressed over their present sales productivity. It's a chain reaction...a domino effect...sigh...I can only pray for the market to improve in 2009. Optimistic? Need to...We just need to pray more.

Speaking of a softening market, the gym is surprisingly quiet these days, even on a peak work day. RPM studio is no longer as packed as before whilst the headcount at the ever exciting Combat and Pump classes had dwindled significantly. The "popular" lockers at the dressing room are easily available these days. Even the shower rooms are eerily quiet. There's hardly any chirpy conversations amongst members, especially from the usually loud-yapping aunties. It's not due to the holiday seasons, some said. It appears that a lot of members declined to renew their memberships and thus, explains the unusually low turnout these days. Perhaps the outdoor taman has become a good alternative to shake their booties, minus the exorbitant membership fees.

As for me, I cannot live without a gym - certainly not financially strong enough to purchase a super hi-tech bike and do RPM on the road. RPM on the road? A bad idea. I still enjoy GX classes and do not see myself going about my day without a single RPM within a week. Hence, like any normal Fridays, I prefer not to miss FRI's class (for some reasons of pure laziness, I've decided to name my favorite RPM instructor, FRI). The smooth traffic facilitated my "float" to the gym and reach the center in just within 15 minutes drive from PJ to Subang - a rare luxury only when half the Klang Valley folks are away shopping at Midvalley or 1U.

I worked my limbs off that evening to some exciting tunes and superb choreo despite an unusually small turnout. I finally had an "opening ceremony" for my Nike cap in between tracks:). I chatted awhile with FRI after class and hope that she will stay strong in these trying times as things will only get better along the way if the circumstances are embraced optimistically. The human mind has an enormous power to overcome any forms of challenges and ailments if we allow it to manifest positively. Family support is definitely not to be ruled out. I'm praying for her and her family to stay strong.

After class, I've decided to put on a thick face and join my ex boss for a free dinner near her house. We had tai chow at USJ16. I enjoyed the food but I enjoyed the company even better albeit the occasional playful interruptions from her kids pestering me to answer some kiddo questions which had me in awkward situations whenever I failed to answer them correctly. To think I'm such a big critic of listeners who failed to answer some 12 year-old questions on one of our local radio stations every morning....pai seh...pai seh...Kids are just so intelligent these days...must be the milk powder...

Despite a jittery morning start to work yesterday, I had a good time relaxing in the evening and completely forgotten about the endless worries of my KPIs. It's just one of those times when I need to flush out work concerns from my mind. I feel jaded but life goes on and I hate to think that the weekend is over now.

Early Christmas

2008-12-09T21:31:00.006+08:00

Christmas came early this year as I had an impromptu gift exchange with an old pal, Shook. After a good RPM class and a split second decision to skip Pump, I made a mad dash to Subang Parade on a wet Sunday afternoon. We had a simple "ceremony" at the Dome over tea. I've decided to get her something edible for once, something which she could share with her family - a fruitcake with a tinge of alcohol. In return, I got a book on spiritual "healing" at workplace titled, "TGIF : Today God Is First". I have yet to read the book but I believe it will inspire me spiritually to press on at work no matter what the circumstances are.

As usual, we chatted the evening away, chewing on a bowl of wedges with sour cream and spicy sauce, completely forgetting the calorie count along the way. We pondered a lot on our spiritual journey, particularly mine. I guess the book is just the right thing for me to dwell deeper into my faith with my good Lord. Amen.

We didn't spend too long chatting over tea, for fear we would indulge in further gastronomical sins of pastas, creamy soups and ham sandwiches. Good thing we left before we decided to flip open the menu again. Otherwise, it's trip back to the gym.

Retail therapy is next. After pondering long and short, I decided to invest in another Nike cap. Yes, I burned RM59.00 that day (apart from tea) but I have no regrets - just loved the color....cool blue - RPM blue...:)) Looking forward to my next class, yea..

Next stop - home...for chicken rice.

RPM 41

2008-12-08T13:53:00.005+08:00

Les Mill's 2008 year end RPM release has finally landed on our shores. I'm pretty excited at the inclusion of Coldplay's Viva La Vida in the latest package. I can almost imagine the choreo with that awesome piece. Nonetheless, I'm kinda dissapointed at yet another head spinning, hard rock option for track 5 following a cool and catchy Reverse Psychology in the last release. Being an RPM devotee, I've decided to check out the track online and came out nothing short of bewildered at the "messy" lyrics and beats. Let's just hope the instructors can add a little spice to yet another boring rock song. I personally feel that rock tunes don't really sit well in track 5 as the messy beats generate more aspirin effect than an explosive workout. Well then, I find a certain teeny weeny bit of solace in Cascada's "A Neverending Dream" - sweet. Although Slinkee Minx's entry here is not as addictive as "Summer Rain", the track passes off just fine as a regular heart-stopping, mountain track killer. Oh! Did I mention One Republic's sexy "Stop & Stare" makes a perfect icing to a year end wrap up?

You be the judge.

American Boy - Estelle
Into The Night - Santana feat Chad Kroeger
A Neverending Dream - Cascada
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Take My Hand - Simple Plan
L’bby Haba - D J Sammy
Send Me An Angel - Slinkee Minx
Umbrella feat Jay-Z - Rihanna
Stop & Stare - One Republic

Crossroads in Life

2008-12-06T14:36:00.006+08:00

The long weekend is here - finally. Although I didn't get to take the entire week off to enjoy my uninterrupted break, I don't mind going back to work next week. After all, I only need to clock in 3 days and then it's hello to weekend again. Best part is, Christmas is just around the corner and I can hardly wait to indulge in some well deserved retail break in Singapore.

Soaking in the Yuletide season down under has been an annual affair for me since 1988 - the year my brother secured an opportunity to further his studies at NUS. Looking back, I would have enjoyed similar fate if I had taken up the offer by NUS to do a degree in Arts back in 1995. Instead, I opted for UM. I remember very well probing extremely hard into the options. I had this resilient ambition to study in Singapore and constantly looked up to my brother as my source of inspiration. I worked hard in my STPM years and finally secured an offer from the faculty of Arts & Social Sciences at NUS. Same time, UM extended an invitation in a similar field. It's an extremely difficult choice. NUS offered subjects which I deemed rather dry and boring - a lot of Math and Stats with the exception of Political Science which I enjoyed very much during my 6th former years. UM, on the other hand, had a wider range of course selections - not so much of numbers but towards the subjects of humanities. As much as I had wanted to study in Singapore, I finally enrolled myself with UM. A tough choice.

We can't always have the best of both worlds. If I had accepted the offer by NUS, my life would have taken a different course. Nonetheless, I have no regrets. I made many beautiful friends at UM and life after graduation took me further to the real meaning of bitter sweet corporate challenges and life along the way, be it at work or play. I was at a crossroad back then - it's either Singapore or remain in Malaysia.

Life is always filled with options and the sad part is that we can't always grab them all. Once decision is made, it's entirely up to us to make it work - in our careers and partners we choose to spend the rest of our lives with. We can only look forward no matter how regretful we are. I do have regrets at certain things, once in a while - makes me feel miserable. I can only console myself to move forward, knowing for sure I cannot undo the things in the past.

Cherish the present moment for a brighter tomorrow.

A Sinful Weekend Round Up

2008-12-04T22:08:00.010+08:00

There's no mistake about my expanding waistline these days. I'm beginning to look like a wine barrel every time I see myself in the mirror. I don't know if this is good news or otherwise. I have been pampering myself crazy with lots of good food - sweet ones. My hunt for cupcakes continued last Sunday and finally found myself prancing around like a little kid at Cupcake Chic, The Curve. At a price of RM25 for 6 cups, I immersed myself effortlessly in the sweet, heavenly indulgence. Mmm...6 cupcakes? Means 20 rounds of RPM to flush out the extra calorie intake? Ah well....

Food, food and more food. Next stop - Izzi (located at Uptown) with pasta, pizzas and the unsually healthy choice for me - Caesar Salad, not without plenty of croutons, of course. The spicy chili pasta with sauteed prawns is a must try but there's nothing special about their pizzas. I'm still pretty much a devotee of Pizza Uno's oven crisp pizzas - they are in a league of their own.

I woke up early the next morning to catch a wholesome breakfast of Hoong Foong's tim sum at USJ20. Har kao, salad prawn, hong kong chee cheong fun, char siew pau and the list goes on.

I seriously don't remember the amount of calories and fats I packed up within the couple of days. I just ate and ate and ate - all this eating binge rolled on without a single workout in between. Astounding? You bet. Now, back to work at the gym.

Longing for You...

2008-11-30T00:30:00.005+08:00

Finally, I made my way back to the bike after 5 days of absence from my workout routine. Since I missed my regular RPM on Friday, I had no choice but to drag myself out from bed yesterday morning to catch the 10am class. While patiently waiting for my contacts to be flown in from across the Atlantic next Monday, I still need to embrace the hassles of working out without a clear vision. Although I'm pretty familiar with the tracks and choreo, there are times when I feel a tad lost when I needed to catch my instructor's visual cue. In the past 2 weeks, all I get is a blurred figure on stage. I've tried to cycle with my trusty specs on but the sweat just fogged up the glass - more damage done. Funny - looking back, I used to workout religiously with my glasses on - once a upon a time when I've yet to discover the wonders of contacts. I remember throwing my best jabs and executing near perfect roundhouse kicks with my heavy glasses at BC during my fitness heydays. Man...I just need my contacts back. I'm just so used to having nothing resting on my nasal bridge for more than 8 hours a day. I don't mind waking up half an hour early everyday to clothe my eyes with the silicons. I just need 'em back in my life...sigh...I know this is not typically me but I'm seriously longing for Monday to come....for my contacts, that is...work is another issue altogether...I missed my contacts dearly...*sob*

A Day Ruined and Uplifted

2008-11-29T16:49:00.005+08:00

As I feared most, I had to skip my regular RPM on Friday - no thanks to a seasonal sinus attack which has been bugging me since the beginning of time. Tell you, I've been living with this freaking sinus problem all these years and every time it strikes, my day is virtually thrown into the dumpster. Yes, I had a reindeer nose and everyone in the office had to ask me what happened, as if the big bulgy nose is not clear enough that I was having a #@% sinus attack...Perhaps it's generally the Malaysian culture that we have to be concerned even though the signs are so clear. For instance, how many times have you come across people checking if you have had your lunch when the time is already 4 hours past noon? Or....if you've had your hair cut short when it's so obvious that you did!!!! Otherwise, how in the world would your hair suddenly decide to shed itself 3 inches overnight? Ok, ok....I being mean here...the lines are just typically kind enough to break a block of ice. We are social animals - we just need to say things to warm up a conversation, no matter how dumbfounded some lines are. You go ponder...

Yes, my sinus had practically ruined my entire Friday and it has to strike on my foremost important day at work when I had to present my 200 prospects with the rest of the sales team. I was busy "wrapping won tons" in the meeting room and although my colleagues were cool about it, I was not feeling comfortable at all, having to excuse my self umpteen times to the washroom to flush out the pesky mucus. I don't remember making how many trips to the washroom. All I know is that I looked horrible that evening with a big, round red nose and an over sized windbreaker pulling over my neck to avoid the freezing chill in the office.

I had so dearly wanted to catch my regular RPM after work but the sinus was just too strong to allow me to workout peacefully on the bike. I remember a time when it attacked - I had to endure the entire 45 minutes class holding back my mucus from dripping onto the handle bars with occasional sneezing here and there. Oooo....my entire workout was ruined, naturally, as I could not concentrate.

I may have skipped my workout but not my dinner. Good thing there's always this humble Ramlee burger to fix the evening. I just didn't feel like having noodles or rice but opted for a "Burger-Cheese-Special" - it's a juicy grilled Ramlee burger patty, topped with a slice of kraft cheese and wrapped up warmly in a mouthwatering fried egg, squeezed in between two soft buns and garnished with lettuce, onions, cucumber and tomatoes...Oh ya, it's also oozing with creamy, rich mayo and tantalising ketchup, courtesy of Kimball...Yummmmmyyyy.....!!!!! It's a real refreshing taste to burgers apart from the usual, boring cheeseburgers at Ronald's.

There's goes my calories but who exactly really cared? Life is short, so just enjoy what life has to offer. We live in a world full of uncertainties these days and all we have to do is just embrace whatever life brings...including enjoying a meal of the ever humble Ramlee burger and not thinking too much about the calories and fats.

Affirmation

2008-11-23T20:46:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time since I've heard the track "Affirmation" by Savage Garden in RPM. Today must have been my lucky day. Oddly enough, not many instructors have this track in their trusty iPods. "Affirmation" is one of the many inspirational and powerful tracks in RPM with hard rocking interval treats. It's one of those rare tracks that pushes the members to the edge of insanity with its 4 powerful attacks back to back towards the end and finishes off with an explosive aero race. As expected, the typically demure and quiet members let out a loud sigh of relief at the end. That's the way RPM should be, honey - members feeling hysterical at the summit of each track and not some instructors having the time of their lives on the bike, leaving members lost in their workout. 'Nuff said. We just need more instructors with substance who know how to drive the members up the wall with their workout and not with their trains of nonsensical babbling throughout the class.

I guess I'm glad that I made it to class today despite feeling kinda ill and feverish. I had planned to head straight home after Sunday service but decided to just sweat it out, hoping to flush out the heat from all those junk food I had entertaining my nieces. I decided to have a cup of hot honey lemon tea at my regular Sunday pit stop, minus my all time favorite kaya toast - I just didn't feel like eating. Instead of flipping through some boring news, I've had the rare pleasure of chatting up with an ex-instructor from TF. It was a pleasant surprise to see her as it has been quite a while since we last met. As expected the antics in her conversation are never far from amusing as she related some horrific, indecent encounters at the cinemas. Thank goodness it never happened to me. The closest and most annoying yet I've encountered is some inconsiderate idiots chatting away while the films rolled. I remember a friend who was so utterly pissed with the couple in front of us babbling away that she stood up and blasted some worthy profanities at the stunned couple. We were watching Terminator 3 and yes, we missed some important scenes when my friend decided to do the unthinkable. My hats off to her. The movie sucked anyway. No regrets. There are many more experiences at the cinema leaving me dumbfounded about how our society can be so downright inconsiderate. First class infrastructure they claimed but first class mentality? Not in a thousand light years.

Cupcake Mania!

2008-11-22T22:25:00.004+08:00

I've always been an ardent fan of cupcakes and even more so after sinking my sweet tooth into a dozen of them at previous pot luck parties with my ex-schoolmates. One dear friend had the entire crowd yearning for more with her batch of wicked cupcakes courtesy of a pastry chef who sells her beloved sweet bites all the way from Klang. Since I'm too lazy to travel, I reserved my cupcake hunting expedition within Subang or PJ. Today must have been my lucky day - stumbled upon a stall at the Subang Parade flea market selling - cupcakes!!!

I was like a little kid, trying hard to contain my excitement while running through the varieties of colorful, cute, pretty cuppies! I bought 6 of them - carrot, orange and oreos flavoured for RM15. They taste just as good and rich as well as less expensive compared to the ones at Cupcake Chic, The Curve. I've always thought that the cuppies at Cupcake Chic are over-priced.

Having a soft spot for sweet pastries and desserts, I just could not give the humble doughnuts a pass and went on to buy half a dozen from Big Apple. My parents thought that I must have been diagnosed with incurable obsession for sweets and had time and again warned (more like lectured) me on the dangers of too much sugar flowing in my blood. I know the dangers of consuming too much sugar however the thought of abandoning my beloved, pretty little cuppies are really hard to imagine. Yes, I must cut down but little by little, by little....

Sweet Mexican Memories

2008-11-21T22:57:00.005+08:00

I had one rare opportunity to unwind yesterday after a back breaking day at work. For as long as I can remember, I've never let my mind wander far from work but yesterday was an exceptional one and must say, I'm glad that my ex-boss decided to have one get-together, just in time to pull my mind back to reality of life other than work, work and work. Fruit punch at Las Caretas had never tasted so good.

Since I first stepped into Las Caretas 5 years ago at Taipan, I've never doubted their quality in taste and service. I still enjoy their tortillas but above all, the atmosphere is comforting to a tired body and mind. We had baked fish, ribs, mushroom sphaghetti, sauteed mushroom...in short, we had lots of fungus that evening. Best part is, the management duly obliged when I requested for a plate of cherries, free of charge. I know a lot of people dislike the taste of cherries dipped in syrup since they taste like cough syrup. I have a sweet tooth, I just love them...

It has been quite a while since we last met to bitch about life and get soaked up in sweet reminicence of yesteryears. We had a wonderful evening revisiting memories working together before I left 3 years ago. Times were different back then. Life seemed less complicated. Despite occasional frustrations, conflicts and dissapointments, we embraced the experience gracefully. Those days are long gone now and we only have memories to make a wonderful gathering. One thing I'm sure, there will be more fajitas to spur up sweet reminicence everytime we meet.

A Torrid Affair at the Night Market

2008-11-19T20:54:00.010+08:00

It's been 3 days now since I first started wearing glasses to work, no thanks to my now "defunct" contact lenses of 2 years which have been causing extreme irritation to my right eye as result of a nasty scratch on the inner surface. Well, there goes my RM400 for a new pair of slimy, rubbery silicons. To ease my broken heart, I'd rather call the purchase an investment. We are just human after all - to make sense of our expenses no matter how trivial or in this case, largely due to my negligence in proper care. Never mind...

I've always dreaded the parking exercise at SS2 on Monday evenings where my family optician is located. Yes - it's a pasar malam night. It's been ages since I last stepped into the SS2 night market and boy, has the place changed. The place has gotten messier than ever. I had to negotiate every tight corners and narrow lanes to get into the main road, many thanks to selfish drivers who double parked their vehicles. The place was in utter chaos and unpleasantly hot! I certainly do not remember going through such horrifying traffic 2 years ago. I guess the papers must have been right in pointing out that more and more local folks are turning into part-time night traders to make ends meet in these uncertain times. The number of traders have increased tremendously. There are easily 2-3 stalls selling the same merchandise within the same corner and hardly any space to maneuver freely between the stalls.

I had planned to buy my favourite peanut pancakes to supplement my dinner that night however, the chaotic commotion had certainly made me think twice about blending into the sweaty and smelly crowd. Plus, in such crowded situation, you will never know some "ham chu saus" (salty pig's hand - sex pervert) lurking somewhere, waiting to grab your ass by "accident". Blame it on the crowd, yeah. I decided to just have a bowl of pan mee and hong kong chee cheong fun at the "wai sek kai" and head home straight away.

The pan mee certainly lacked some oomph..and less can be said of the chee cheong fun. A total let down, I must say. Should've just opted for the penang fried kuey teow. Even the sugar cane tasted like processed juice although the owner insisted that it's freshly squezzed. I have tasted better. Nuff said.

I left my dad and brother with sister, sister in law and nieces to tour the night market while I headed home with mum. Although the snacks at some stalls looked wickedly inviting, I guessed I've had enough of calories to last me for the entire night, minus my regular RPMs.

Another Typical Day for Yo-Yo Time!

2008-11-17T21:53:00.004+08:00

I was expecting a smooth drive this morning to work in view of the lengthy school holiday. Alas, things don't always turn out the way we want them to. I had to turbo charged all the way to work and skipped my breakfast in the process. Not wanting to sneak out for some scrumptious nasi lemak and teh tarik, I settled for a cup of coffee and went straight to work. I was not expecting much on a gloomy Monday morning and decided to just bury my nose in my notebook.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened at work today except for the occasional fire fighting and endless meetings that seemed so...well, endless....I still feel emotional at the slightest frustration and it does show flat on my face. Being a typically responsible and obligated freak at work, I feel compelled to give my best at work, to the extent of evoking my cancer cells. There are times when I just could not give a damn about my work or personal expectation but more often than not, such feelings are short lived. My ex-boss was spot on when she said that I have the "Yo-Yo" syndrome. I can be exceptionally happy for a moment and then downright depressed in another. One thing for sure - I have yet to master the art of staying cool which has topped my list in my new year resolutions for as long as I can remember. I'm not too sure if this will continue to top my list for another 5 years. Even Mr Federer has to give way to new blood after 4 years at the helm. Who knows? Maybe someone will just walk into my life to sooth my fiery heart...Until then, I have lots to work on. For a start, I just need to pile more cement on my face.

Taking Time Off to Ponder....

2008-11-16T14:36:00.005+08:00

Following 3 grueling and back-breaking RPMs in 2 days, I've decided to take a day's rest. It's a lazy Sunday after all. Well, not exactly a lazy day for me as I've spent a reasonable amount of time working on my sales pipeline. It's not back-breaking but neck-breaking, sigh. Naming 200 prospects for 2009, not knowing what to expect is definitely a daunting task especially when the tight deadline is breathing down my neck everyday. Talking about getting caught in the rat race. It's just so eternity. Sigh, how I so long to see myself sipping coconut milk in the Maldives. I need a holiday. Thank goodness Christmas is shinning upon me now as I can look forward to my annual pilgrimage to Singapore for some thereupetic shopping spree at Orchard and Vivo City. I may not enjoy the best deals, thanks to the wicked currency exchange but I can assure myself that I will definitely lay my hands on the latest release of certain goods that normally hit the Singaporean shores first. Ok- you may call me kiasu, whatever....

Shopping aside, I just need to fill my social life with some interesting indulgence apart from work and gym. Topping my list has always been my spiritual growth. In the past 14 years, I have been diligently attending church service, although there are times when I decided to skip a service of two but I have not drifted too far off from His loving kindness. I prayed this morning, seeking for peace and harmony in my life and that of others. To one extent, I sought for forgiveness that I've never really served Him all these years as a Christian. I stand in respect of my fellow Christians who have been obediently venturing into hostile and uninviting environment to spread the good news. My heart is willing but the mind is not - procrastinating time and again. I feel ashamed of not doing enough for my heavenly Father. He's been with me through thick and thin - from my first serious encounter in form 6, through to my varsity days in the mid 90s. He's been there, ever so faithfully. I have been a lost sheep twice but He came looking for me so that I can stand stronger once again. My faith has been rocked several times and tested under difficult circumstances and have taken His love for granted. I feel ashamed, yes I do but I'm trying my level best to stay sane and spiritually strong in my challenging life, especially when times seem so uncertain and everyone is worring sick about the global financial crunch.

Have you ever wondered what is your purpose on this planet? Someone once told me that this planet is only a pit stop for human and thus, our existence is impermanent .Have you ever pondered on the real reason you are here, today? What you do? What you eat? How you socialize? If we liken our lives to that of hamsters on wheels, then I suppose that life has little meaning for humanity unless we take a step back and decide to color our lives with some lasting legacy of sacrifice and love for each other and for God's majestic kingdom.

Have I bored you already? Live life to the fullest and try looking back if you have achieved much in life that you can be proud of? I would like to know. Tell me...

Beauty or the Angel Within?

2008-11-16T00:06:00.006+08:00

I'm not exactly a fanatic when comes to canto-series courtesy of TVB but in the past couple of days, I'be been hooked on this particular offer, "When The Easterly Shower Falls on the Sunny West" featuring the ever versatile Lisa Wang at the helm. Never mind the lengthy title. What drew me to stick my nose to the tube after work these days to catch the series is the theme song. I don't read Chinese nor understand the lyrics but the rhythm is seriously beautiful and hauntingly soothing to the ears. The number is well orchestrated, accompanied with some beautiful and inspiring backdrops of early 20th centurty China at the opening credits. As expected, Lisa Wang's voice is always a joy to listen to. I grew up listening to her songs albeit not exactly a huge fan. She has a certain charisma and presence that draw respect and reverence whenever she appears on stage or on air. This is what I mean by a true diva along with the likes of Theresa Teng and Anita Mui. Let's just hope that she can contribute more in years to come. Honestly, there are not many artists in the industry these days can match the ever solid and trusted performance by TVB veterans.

Only a handful of artists deserve due recognition for their realistic potrayals of characters in various portfolios. Many are a pain to watch. It is sad that the Asian entertainment industry is getting increasingly dependant on performers who lack the talent and skills in their respective fields but somehow successfuly get by due to their cute and macho looks. Switch on to any entertainment programmes and you will see hordes of young and hot blooded fans (mostly girls) giving (and screaming) their unwavering support to some young (hunky) singers who can hardly sing a proper tune. These young men just needed to strut their hairless chest on stage to get the girls' vote for best new performer of the year or worse - best new breakthrough of the year award, despite having only one tiny role in a B-grade movie.

This brings us to the subject of beauty. No matter how people are so dignified with the phrase, "beauty is skin deep", I for one - cannot help but question the extent of our judgement on this subject. Many debates have circled on the fact that beauty in character is paramount in accessing one's attractiveness. How true is this? Why then the extensive promotions of beauty products and in support of gorgeous candidates to carry off an advert? We are constantly drawn into the idea that flawless beauty represents wholesome perfection but how do we know if beneath the hunk or bombshell is in fact quite the opposite in character and personality?

I have the rare luxury of watching the ever bitchy "America's Next Top Model" and trust me, this programme is not for the faint hearted. Yea - no doubt the candidates look pretty hot and bootylicious but when the cameras rolled into their personal struggles with each other, you will see the truth beneath those expensive mascaras and angelic, seductive looks.

You be the judge - looks or personality? Either one, I'm off to sleep now.

I'm a Romantic - Who's Not?

2008-11-15T10:26:00.012+08:00

I've always been a hopeless romantic. That is why I'm one of the millions who are hooked on sentimental romantic tunes - Celine Dion, Jim Brickman etc. Speaking of Ms Dion, I've bought her ultimate essential collection. Although I've listened to most of the tracks it has to offer but I just could not resist getting my hands on this diva's all time greats. The album is nothing short of mushy - yes and cheesy too...hehe but what dissapoints me much is that the producers somehow did not include one of my favourite tune in a decade - "You Look At Me" - a hauntingly beautiful number from the movie Biccentenial Man (the one with Robin Williams as the humanoid who fought tirelessly to be human and determined to spend his life with his love). The tune just fits in so beautifully to the love scenes. And who can forget the equally timeless piece from Titanic? Man, that number never failed to have my tears rolled everytime I listen to it.

No matter what critics say about Ms Dion's decade long supplies to the entertainment industry, she's definitely a diva and nobody can bring out the heart and soul of love songs like she does. When you need to fall in love or soaked up in the pain of heartbreak, just dig out her CDs and you will be guaranteed lost in her words. On the downside however, I never did enjoy her one of the oddest number (let's face it - which artist did not make a mistake in a lifetime?) - It's about how she drove all night to be with her man and to make love to him - best part is - she had to seek his permission for lovemaking after driving all night to see him!!! Duh??? Now, that really put the ladies in an ultra-cheapo position...C'mon....when one lady drove ALL night, anticipating some wonderful climax, does she really need to check if the man is keen? What sort of cats do not jump into a bowl of fresh ikan bawals when offered, eh?

Ok...enough of Ms Dion. Oh, yeah - do check out The Power of Dreams....Inspirational! Thanks to EG who introduced me to the number. Oddly enough, he's the only RPM instructor who plays the track....

Speaking of RPM, I can hardly feel my legs now after 2 back to back classes yesterday at YL's butchering sessions. The classes were nothing short of exhilirating and inspirational. It's been a long time since I had one that pushed me to the limit and emerged 200% satisfied after class. I can't say this enough - we do need good instructors to lead the class. What I mean by good is - the ones who know how to bring out the best in the members - especially getting the typically quiet members to moan and groan and let out a loud sigh of relief at the end of every track. I've attended numerous classes by seasoned and new RPM instructors but I can hardly count up to 5 instructors who easily slip into my criterias. I'm not a serious critic but if my opinion is being fished, I only have 4 instructors who are consistently on my schedule. The rest is what I call - "shiok sendiri" in the class and self-proclaimed "best instructors" amongst the members. Nonetheless, I wish them all the best in their future understakings in the world of Les Mills and all the raw power on wheels....

I think I've been writting too much...I just like to write...simple as that...Ms Dion or RPM, anything goes...

What's Missing in My Life

2008-11-11T19:56:00.002+08:00

I had one of the best RPM class yesterday in a month albeit feeling exhausted from the day's extensive travelling - I felt an amazing gush of energy on my legs - one of the rarest feeling when age is catching up. That is why I always emphasize on getting the right instructor to do the job - push the members like s**** with excruciating pain on the legs and a** but feeling jubilant with lots of sweat and calories on the floor at the end of a gruelling 45 minutes class. I have so far been riding the bike and walking the mill....minus the irons. Somehow, I'm still pretty much procrastinating on resuming my body pump routine which has been missing from my workout schedule for the past one and a half months. No doubt my arms are getting bigger - not toned but bragging with fats. I'm definitely missing those kick ass squats and bicep curls.

Let's just hope that 2009 would be a better year for me in terms of discipline.

After months of scaling the mounting, I have begun to get used to my new job. Although there are many more mountains (and steeper) to scale, I realised that I just need to leave my future to my good Lord. There are many more things to be grateful for in life and it is never been said enough about having your loved ones with you everyday. Yesterday I received a call from an old friend of 15 years. We’ve remained closed pals over the years since our STPM days and along life’s journey, we have shared and witnessed each other’s bitter sweet episodes. Oh, she’s also a fan of RPM, only less obsessive.

She exclaimed on the phone that she is expecting. I was overjoyed and could not contain my exhilaration over the good news. On the downside, she told me how she had to turn down a promotion due to her pregnancy. The position is something that one would work for but comes with a price of stress and lengthy time spent in the office. It’s not a tough choice as for her, family comes first. Isn’t this so “maternal”? I mean – no matter how well women perform in the corporate world, power and position take a backseat when comes to child rearing. It’s just so natural….

Receiving news of her pregnancy really got me thinking again if I’ve missed some good things in life – like marriage and child bearing. My mum would be so pleased to know that at least I do ponder on such things once in a while. Well, at least I still have a handful of friends who are still single and unattached. To say that I’m lonely – not quite right but time will tell….who knows if my knight in shinning armour is just around the block waiting for me with his trusty black stallion, ready to whisk me away into the sunset?

RPM Pain

2008-10-30T13:18:00.002+08:00

I had to endure a horrible class by a replacement instructor at Jaya33 yesterday. The name never appeared in TF's RPM schedule before but I decided to just go ahead to loosen up my limbs. Being a hard core RPM fan, I took a risk of attending an unknown instructor's class. Lo and behold - I must admit, it's one of THE annoying class I've ever attended. The instructor was babbling non stop throughout the class and repeatedly yelled out a couple of members' names. Bet she just got to know them a few minutes prior to the class and acted as if she knew their cycling habits and what have you. As if yelling their names and babbling nonsense are not enough to kill me throughout the 45 mins torture regime, she had to sing along to the tunes! To add matters worse - she spoke with a certain slang - you know....Aussies wannabes....oh! Puhleezzz.....why can't instructors just stick to good ol' Malaysian lingo and stop imitating "kwai loh" slang - if wanna imitate, do it right and not mix it with some local bla bla bla along the way.

Yes - I was totally annoyed and yes, I'm giving myself a day's break from RPM. If that name pops up again anytime soon at TF, I'd rather go for a piece of roti telur and teh tarik than to shed my pounds in some horrendous 45 mins torture chamber.

Childhood Revisited

2008-10-27T12:48:00.008+08:00

I was extremely excited last Thursday when I stumbled upon some Lou Fu Zhi comic books at the Chow Yang pasar malam. I just could not hide my excitement as the comic character has always been my favorite funny man - till todate. Though the books had been compressed to a palm size offer, the contents are still worth a a humble RM2.00 each. I bought 5 of them.

Flipping through the pages remind me of my childhood days. I was an avid collector of Lou Fu Zhi comics and remember stashing heaps and heaps of the books in my storeroom back in the 80s and 90s. Sadly, the books had to go when we moved to Subang 10 years ago. Memories of how I spent an enormous amount of time hooked on the characters are hard to erase. Although I do not read Chinese, I still find the stories facinating and funny to the core. Till todate, I still remember some of the strips and how the stories relate to our daily lives. I may not have understood the theme of each strip back then when I was a kid but I do see myself relating much these days - simply put it, Lou Fu Zhi's life generally depicts our everyday struggles in life and how we should be looking at the funny side of things, be it positive or negative.

Apart from Lou Fu Zhi, I'm still a staunch fan of comics like Tintin and Asterix The Gaul and used to collect heaps of both, especially the latter. Since I loved Ancient History, stories in Asterix never failed to have me fantasise about travelling through time to historical Gaul and Rome. Yes - call it silly but I still have this strange dream of travelling back in time to live like a commoner in ancient Rome and enjoy a good feast of wild boar with Obelix. Call it ambition but it's always been my intention, though realistically it's impossible. Tintin is just as interesting - Life is never a bore with the bumbling Captain Haddock and petit but intelligent Prof Calculus...and who can forget the Thompson twins? Oh my, oh my....it's all coming back to me now...

Looking back, life seemed so simple when I was young. With a bowl of curry maggi mee and the comics for company, I would feel satisfied easily. Not now though. Growing up in the rat race has definitely stolen a lot of life's simple pleasures from me and yes, I do longed to revisit my childhood days as much as I can to take me away from the stressful life of working adult. Getting lost in comics is definitely one way to escape my daily grind.

Soul Searching

2008-10-27T00:20:00.008+08:00

This is the first time I'm submitting 2 entries within a span of less than 24 hours. What an achievement! Well then, to me - a blog does not necessarily need to depict how I spend my day or the numerous ramblings about daily chores, events of what have you not. Thanks to Deepavali holiday that I have ample time to stay awake at this ungodly hours. Yes - partly because I spent close to 2 hours of afternoon siesta after a gruelling RPM class by my all time favourite instructor the day before. I can hardly bat an eyelid now - I just can't psycho my mind to doze off. Even watching a lousy and booooring soccer match between the troubled Spurs and Bolton failed to conjure up the Zs in me...Hence, I decided to just add another entry. I just feel like writting, don't know why....I just wanna write...

With some really romantic and mushy songs for company - I just wanna write about my soul searching experience for the past one month which had sort of robbed my time from blogging. Here goes....

As many of you would agree with me that life is very unpredictable. I have been spending an enormous amount of time worrying about my career and work demands. Yes -it's herculian, at least to me now as I'm working exceptionally hard in building my base. Just imagine building a house with little knowledge of the different variations of screws and bolts. A lot of things had been running wild on my mind and the fear of uncertainties had paralysed me at most times. I love the company and the people. It's generally everyone's dream to work in large MNCs renowned for its reputation and integrity. I just need to overcome my fears and doubts about my ability and capacity to surpass my expectations while defeating the old paranoid me.

Looking back, I've worked hard all my life - from my primary to secondary and then to varsity. I have been working for the past 8 years now and still I have not exactly found my passion. Everyone has been telling me that there's no such thing as ideal jobs and no one exactly loves to wake up every monday morning, raring to swipe their employee door card. It's all purely for the food on the table. Isn't life so dry? I don't know but everyone around me never spoke of their passion for what they are doing. It's all about the pay cheque end of the month.

If given a choice, I would have taken a drastic path of pursuing my dreams in Archaeology. I have always been a strong student in History at class. Scoring As for SRP, SPM and STPM. However, fate can play funny jokes on oneself - and therefore, I ended up in sales. Passion and money can rarely compliment each other, they say. What do you think?

I will be turning 34 next year and with still a long way to reach my senior years, I may have plenty of time to contemplate...and contemplate...and contemplate...where does this take me? I just need to take some form of action and be stern with myself for once in my life, says a little voice in me. Till then, I know I will just need to work hard at present and continue to hold my faith strongly that I will achieve - sooner or later....it's just a matter of time.

Another soul searching experience is about LOVE. Yes - you read it right - LOVE. I had before expressed my feelings for that someone. I have never done this before in my entire life and looking back, I'm still very much aghast that I did it anyway, though not face to face. Personally, that day was one of my boldest day. We exchanged messages on MSN and yes, it was pretty awkward. The feelings were never meant to be because we both know that it will never be possible to move ahead but I remember feeling relieved, opening the tap of my emotions. We met again and though internally I felt kinda awkward but I choose to put it behind my head and opted to remain as good friends. We do meet every now and then....I'm not sure how my friend feels but I'm sure glad that my words made it to my history books as the boldest lines ever. Happiness is within our hands. Sometimes we just need to do stupid things to get the message across regardless of the outcome. To err is human, they say....but I know I've felt pain sailing through this passage...More so when the tune "Have You Ever Been In Love" by Celine Dion constantly soaked me up...Lovely and very true if you have fallen in love for the first time...The words are spot on.

All these romantic tunes are already wrapping me in cupid's emotions but end of the day, I'm still trying to seek out my purpose in life and what life has given me....Have you ever wondered?

Simple Pleasure with My Cuppa and Own Hot Pot

2008-10-26T21:11:00.007+08:00

Finally took some time off to relax with a cuppa at Gloria Jeans. Decided to just have a latte instead of my usual favorite white chocolate. For awhile my mind was not occupied with work related concerns and just opted to shut my mind off the nonsense of demands at work. These days, I prefer to skip the local news and pay more interest in the global front. Even reading the comics do more justice to my cognitive intelligence than all the political nonsense in this country. That is why I normally start reading the papers from the Sports section first and then slowly move on to global affairs before decide to have a pit stop at the lifestyle section. Local news? Not my priority. Catching up on the latest gossips if the Jolie-Pitts decide to have an addition to their clan or Ms Jackson decides to plan another wardrobe malfunction gives me more therapeutic relief than anything else.

Speaking of relief - this time is gastronomical, of course. I've decided to try out a Japanese-styled Shabu-Shabu steamboat located at Bandar Puteri, Puchong. To put it simply, it's buffet steamboat with dishes or condiments served on a conveyor belt ala sushi style. Every patron has a pot to himself or herself - it's pretty much more hygienic that way than having everyone to share the same hotpot. Being a flavour freak, I can never have my soup plain as Jane and thus, I've started mixing my own concoction with peanut chilies and tomyam tasting chilie paste. Not bad, not bad.

There are lots of vegetables to choose from, as well as meat and balls of many sizes and tastes. There's this weird looking ball called squid-cheese ball - no prize for guessing the taste. Never really thought that squid and cheese can make a heavenly pair. Apart from the steamed stuff, the restaurant also serve fried side dishes - for free, course...well - not really....it's already incorporated into the bills. There's fried sui kow, seafood cake, yam crisp and even samosa. Oh, and also french fries.....fries? steamboat? Think fusion has gone a little too far here....

Apart from the peanut chilies and my own cooking pot, the highlight of the dinner has got to be the free flowing crushed orange/berry ice juice....Refreshing! The green tea also gets my thumbs up. Not some ordinary green tea, folks....you just need to taste it.

Well, that's all for now. I know I have gone into a long hiatus. Due to work reasons, I just can't seem to find the time to blog these days. I love to write, no doubt. Many things had happened since my last entry and have been busy doing some soul searching. Obviously, I would update whenever I can - not only about food but other things many of you can relate to.

Till then - stay tuned, stay true.

No Italian Hunks Here

2008-10-01T14:36:00.009+08:00

I've delayed this entry quite a bit, no thanks to the freakin' Streamyx connection which is getting intolerable by the day. Frustration aside, I had an incredibly wonderful time with the gals last Saturday. It has never been easy getting everyone together at a certain time and date but I guess I did a fantastic job...I'm surprised at the 100% turn out too :) It's a good choice to stuff ourselves nuts at d'Italiane Kitchen located at Jaya 33. Yes - while gym junkies were hard at work nearby at True Fitness in conjunction with Les Mills 3rd quarter launch, I was pigging out on pastas, sauteed mushrooms, sinful desserts. No regets as the servings were great and unforgettable. To a certain extend, I think d'Italiane serves tastier Italian fares than the over-rated Italianese.

I decided to tuck into a grilled prawn pastas mixed with sauteed mushroom and chilli flakes. The prawns were fresh and grillled to perfection with pepper and salt for seasoning. The dessserts were nothing short of sinful but I truly believe the peeps at the kitchen did a great job at bringing us down to our knees, begging for more! Ha!

To wash it down, I ordered a funny tasting drink, aptly named "Everthing Except The Sink" or something like that....It's actually a blended berries juice but tasted interestingly refreshing despite the name.

Of course, the gathering would not have been as memorable as the food if not for the wonderful company. Recalling a recent comment from one of my pal, we've never aged a year since leaving our beloved alma mater 16 years ago. How true it is as we brought the house down, as usual....:)) We are all still kids at heart, despite soaring careers, kids and marriages...Definitely, there will be more to come...:)

Happiness From Within

2008-09-13T11:36:00.007+08:00

It's been quite awhile since someone made me dwell deeper into life and questioned the things that have been happening in my 33 years of emotional journey. This is exactly what went through my mind during my not so memorable dinner at Leo's Cafe, Taipan yesterday after my RPM class. Leo's serves good gelato but not its food, at least for me - forgettable. And yes - they charge 50 sen for every WARM WATER refill. What crap. I would just rate a 2 out of 10 for my fried black pepper seafood sphaghetti. My vegetarian friend, Shook perhaps had it better with plain french fries with honey mustard.

Gelato aside, our conversation went deeper into how our everyday's rat race has so consumed us to the point that we have lost sight of our own emotional needs. Our lives have been so routined that we take our loved ones for granted. Sit back and ponder - how very true. Now let's face it - how often do we slow down and question our existence? Someone once told me that our existence on this earth is a mere journey to greater things upon our "departure" from this earthly realm. Planet earth is considered just a pit stop for us before we continue our "journey". How deep and to a certain extent, had me pondering on the silly things that I've gone through over the last 3 years which had been laced with numerous downtimes. Stress, depression, unhappiness, worries, contempt - you name it. I've wasted enough of my time and energy on things that seemed distance and future - concerns about my future or my plans if they fail to align with my intentions. I've always been a difficult child in my family and not so surprisingly, the first one whom my parents would loved to have a man to sweep me away from their lives after 33 years of carrying this heavy load of pack on their backs.

Life would be so much easier if I choose to look at the brighter things in life and just take the opportunity to live one day at a time. What's more important is that I should let go of my burdens of life and lead a peaceful co-existence within myself before reflecting upon my external encounters with fellow beings and events that have been shaping my emotional journey. It takes a lot of effort to change, no doubt but someone will just need to start somewhere and I'm determined, praying hard to push forward no matter what.I've breathed through some not so pleasant experience in my life for the past 33 years and hope to enjoy the sweet scent of another 33 years...

Short Break In The Mountains

2008-09-07T17:43:00.006+08:00

Some bugs had finally gotten tired of me and viola! my voice is back...yea. It's been a miserable day for me having to drown myself in horrible cough medicine and the usually over-rated anti-biotics by GPs. It's a good thing that I finally recovered in time for my Genting trip albeit a short trip into the mountains with my galpals Joe and Arun. Must say that I had a good break, away from civilisation down below although Genting still remained the same ol' hideout for gamblers out to make some quick bucks.

Honestly, I've never fancied having my vacation at Genting - I've always felt that the place is filled with negative energy, especially the smoke-filled casino with dead, zombie-like gamblers whose lifeline depended on their bets. Catchy music and live stage performance by some foreign dancers didn't seem to be doing a good job in entertaining the already luck-drained gamblers. Since I did not intend to stay long at the casino, I just had to try my luck at the jackpot and lo and behold, I lost Rm30 to the pesky machines. Arun on the other hand had her mother luck by her side with some RM80 winnings. That's good enough.

The rest of the night was basically just tea, coffee and chats at Starbucks until wee hours in the morning before we retired to our rooms with some serious Martinis and Vodka. People would expect 3 young, lovely ladies to be partying crazy till dawn - well, we almost checked into this night joint called Safari but heck, we just decided to spend our well earned break by quietly sipping away coffee and latte having ladies chats. We had plans to chill out at the Patio but the live band's horrible rendition of Rihanna's "Shut Up and Drive" didn't do justice to the outlet in milking money from our pockets.

My only regret of the night is the untimely downcast mood of my camera's battery which decided to die on me and thus no pictures taken but thank goodness Joe's camera was obedient enough to stay strong throughout our trip. So, for a complete set of pictures, I will have to wait for Joe to download 'em in Facebook before I can post 'em in my blog - so just wait awhile, folks.

Plans to conjure up childhood memories with silly rides also didn't work well for us due to heavy downpour the following morning. Heavy fog and prolonged shower dampened many young hearts' spirit that morning. Nonetheless, the fresh air from the tropical forest was indeed an excellent savour - haven't had that for a long time. We decided to bid Genting farewell following a good meal at the penang coffeeshop. No special mention of my laksa which looked deceivingly good enough to make me order it but tasted awfully bland. Food aside, we had an arresting moment listening to Joe's myriad of chilling experience with the afterlife - ironic but an excellent topics to indulge while vacationing at the tourism spot, notoriously famous for its fair share of ghostly sighthings and encounters by people from all walks of life.

A short break but a deserving one to catch up on old times and to try my luck at some light gambling, albeit emerging a not so sore loser with less RM30 in my pockets.....

Living with a Pesky Bug!

2008-09-04T11:17:00.003+08:00

A certain Mr Bug had been obviously busy these days, spreading around cough virus and having a gala time working on his results. He did a very good job in landing his shot on me a couple of days ago and here I am, sitting at home, coughing like a mad dog and taking time off from work. The cough started getting from bad to worse as I did my rounds with appointments yesterday. I had to hold my cough in midst of meetings with customers and at the same time, looked attentive -not easy, I tell you. I just didn't wanna look like an ailing soul in front of my prospects which would definitely jeopardise their confidence in my service and products. Like it or not, I had to put up a good show - which I've been doing for the past 8 years now, so it really didn't seem all that bad. My iron will finally collapsed this morning when I called in sick. As a matter of fact, I am already starting to lose my voice. To further compound the matter, I am so looking forward to my Genting trip this Friday and cannot afford to let a certain, pesky bug spoil my plans. Hence, I requested for a stong cough concoction from doc and pray hard that my Rod Stewart voice will go off asap. Perhaps it's the lack of exercise that opened up my immune system to univited bugs. I must admit, I have been missing quite a number of workouts since I started my new job. I've been too mentally tired to pedal those wheels and even handle a 1kg plate. Interestingly enough, I have not put on a pound. Must have been my anxiety in getting warmed up to my new portfolio that I had not been eating well. I do agree that lack of exercise after being a gym rat for so long has its adverse effects on the body. Especially so now that I've only been to 2 RPM classes in 2 weeks as opposed to 3-4 times a week. Sigh...I just need to get my momentum back on track....and FAST!!!!

After a Long Hiatus...

2008-08-30T14:02:00.013+08:00

It's been more than 2 weeks since my last blog and thanks to a friend who reminded me that my blog is still stagnated from my last entry on mummy-hood, I guess it's high time for me to allow myself to get lost in my words once again.

Time flies and yes, I've managed to survive my new job after 2 weeks of toiling and sweating over new environment and product knowledge. It hasn't been easy for me as my new portfolio encompasses entirely different commitment and technical know-how. Having spent a wholesome 8 years in the seafreight industry, securing a strong footing on airfreight is really a herculian task - at least for me. Many people had commented that transportation and logistics industries generally take on the concept of timely delivery and between the two sea and air - the principle is almost the same. Well, almost....As a matter of fact, both are entirely different heavyweights with each has its own learning curve - and a STEEP one for me.

I had many times wanted to give up on the daunting task of starting from scratch again and the fact that I get lost most of the time at what I do at a new environtment. Family and friends just laughed at me and advised to relax - it's just been a couple weeks! Yea - I really do suck when comes to worrying irrationally and I do worry at the slightest issue. This is my biggest weakness and worst enemy. It is very easy to fall into traps of pessimism than to emerge optimistically triumphant everytime one is being challenge. This is where I need to master the art of positive thinking. Yea - I should not take myself too seriously and need to learn to relax and worry less. Sigh, how I wish I can just open up my skull and rest my brains on the floor once awhile...

Well, at least I have a new simple toy, courtesy of my management - a new cellphone Nokia 6120 Classic. Nothing fancy but for me, being a gadget freak since the day I got my very first cellphone back in 2000, I just can't help but spend most of my leisure time fiddling with the functions and even got myself a brand new Nokia case to protect its virgin screen. Kinda cool although the case is kinda steep in its price at RM48 but guess it's pretty much worth to indulge in some retail therapy once in awhile. Other than that, I will have to carry 2 phones now...daunting? not sure yet...I just need to constantly remind myself of the new number.

2 weeks have gone now and now just looking forward to my product training and induction programme which is expected to take up 2 solid weeks. Let's just hope my brains don't get fried by then.

The Race to Mummy-hood

2008-08-15T13:19:00.006+08:00

I've meant to blog this a long time ago but my mind was just too occupied with securing a good job that I didn't have the right frame of mind to pen my words. Now that I've finally closed the books and signed the papers, I can revisit these pictures with some recaps of the night.

On the surface, it was meant to be a gathering of ex-Assuntarians - for some of us who had been staying abroad and back for a visit, the get-together was just thing we needed to catch up on old times. Well, almost...Just barely 20 minutes into the gathering, my girlfriends started getting extremely excited over each other's babies. Talks on everything babies - from diapers to a certain word "express" (only mothers would know the connotation) filled the air with occasional "how have you been"s thrown in. Being a single and obviously not an expert on baby subjects, I felt almost lost for a moment. Watching my friends cradling each others babies and babbling away on their experience of bringing up their little tots really got me thinking that I'm sort of losing touch with their priorities in life. It is obvious to me at that moment that my friends have gone on to tackle another phase in their lives and here I am, still negotiating my singlehood.

Fortunately, I was not the only single soul to grace the dinner table that night. In fact, there were quite a few. I still remember heaving a sigh of relief upon seeing them as I didn't have to put up any longer with an awkward situation filled with baby talks and the word "expressing". Topics of school days started to sink in....now that's more like it.

Apart from all the baby talks and occassional interruptions of baby cries, we had a great time. Of course I could not help but felt like I'm still pretty much struggling in the race course when some of these friends had already completed their sprint to the mummy-hood line. Yes, they dated, got married and now juggling with new additions to their families. Envious? To certain extent, yes but only temporary. No families are without problems and sometimes, listening to their woes of setting things right within the family just made me feel fortunate being single. Well then, there are always loads of pros and cons - no one is perfect and neither is life.

As I comfortably setting foot into my early 30s, wedding invitations are mounting and so is my mum's nagging but for now, I'm just taking things easy. I don't really believe in faith but as far as love is concern, I shall just leave the work to cupid.

You're Hired!

2008-08-13T16:49:00.008+08:00

After a month long of agony and anticipation, I've finally signed the papers - I'm now officially part of a global express and mail delivery service company. I'm particularly excited at this new opportunity. Not only the fact that its official corporate orange color is eye-candy to both customers and employees, my new assignment is somewhat different from my previous attachments. For as long as I can remember, I have been involved in a "love affair" with the ocean for the past 8 years. This time, my job will take me up into the sky (not literally, though). Yes, it's a new challenge altogether albeit the fact that my position remains pretty much in the sales line.

Yes, I have exactly 4 days left to enjoy my break and obviously, an abundance of afternoon siestas. Speaking of which, I definitely need to fine tune my sleep hours by cutting down on late night movies, waking up at time when everyone at work is almost done with half a day's assignments. That's right, reworking my body to snooze off by 10pm latest is no simple feat since I've been so accustomed to watching cookery shows on AFC (and now late night recaps of the Olympics) at ungodly hours and of course having breakkies when everyone is busy with lunch.

Everyone, well almost everyone who still sucked over their present jobs commented that I should've taken a longer break. I do not deny the fact that being away on a break from the brutal corporate world is indeed a bliss, that is - if one's bank account is filthy fat enough to sponsor a beach holiday or two. For me? My savings are just enough to pull me through in a month or, maybe to the max - three. I have resigned to the fact that it's not so much of taking a break to relax - the lengthy hibernation can really take its toll on idle hands, you know. As for me - it's shopping which means - a more depleted bank account. Enormous time has been spent shopping at the malls when the rest of the world are busy making a living. To a certain extent, I feel an emptiness within and sinfully sick of my spending habits - spilling away all my hard earned money when I should be out there working to fill up my savings for old time sake. Now, a certain section of society would have extreme different views - that is, to live the day and not worry about tomorrow. Regretfully and fortunately, I do not buy into that idea of "spend today, worry tomorrow".

There have been many debates on the simple notion of "live the moment". No doubt, humans need to enjoy life to the fullest at any present moment but it is also a known fact that without "lifetime securities", we are doomed to uncertainties. I had a slight argument with my close friend over this subject not too long ago and being individuals with strong opinions, I had decided to call time out on our debate before it turned sour. I mean, I do respect her views. We just need to stamp our opinions.....

Work or no work, enjoying a lifetime of happiness ultimately depends on an individual. As for me, I would rather spend my pre-retirement age building life's securities to cushion the sorry years of weakening body which undeniably, requires some form of financial back-up to support my medical bills.....nothing comes free, like it or not.

Improvised RPM

2008-08-05T22:08:00.006+08:00

I'm generally picky when comes to RPM. To my gym mates, any instructors would do. So long as they break a sweat. To certain extent, I choose to disagree. Maybe gym go-ers are generally non picky lot but I personally think that a good instructor makes hell a lot of difference to my workout. There's one particular instructor who does not fall under my category of "averagely good" - for a seasoned instructor, I don't really think he can carry a fantastic class compared to the newbies....For obvious reasons, I intend to name this instructor X.

You see, I've been religiously attenting RPMs as part of my workout regime to burn off those unwelcomed fats. This means I need to ensure that I break sweat - lots of them. In order for me to emerge from the class wet, soaked to the skin, I need to have a good, vigorous workout - and this means, being familiar with the tracks and choreo. I may not be an instructor but having been a devotee of RPM for the past 6 years, I can proudly say that I am very much familiar with almost all the tracks. Hence, it's always safer to work within the choreo and not "improvise" with own tunes.

X however, loves to do just that - "improvise" his class with some unfamiliar tracks and at most times, messes up with the movements. This is where everything starts to fall apart. Unfamiliar with the tracks, I get lost in the workout and thus, not able to anticipate the next move, resulting in gross disruption to the flow of choreo. One can never anticipate when to do a standing climb or aero-race with unfamiliar tunes. This annoys me much and the reason I do not attend X's class if I have a choice.

Surprisingly enough, the members don't seem to mind. One of them even told me, "Just simply whack la...." Duh! In that case, might as well attend Studio Cycling....now that's freestyle. I must admit that the tunes and beats are kinda cool but being a traditionalist, I'd prefer a normal RPM workout with RPM tracks anytime. X's own fancied tunes are better left alone at some young, yuppie clubs and not within the 4 walls of the RPM studio.

Time is drawing near...Hoping for a better prospect

2008-08-04T22:54:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since my last entry. I'm not at all bothered to blog about the dreadful Brendan Fraser flick with awful GCI headless and limbless mummies rampaging around Gobi desert. If you have too much $$$ to burn, go ahead and watch it. I should've just gone for a cheaper fare with far better off entertainment by Mulder and Scully. Surprisingly enough - being a hard core devotee of the 1990s tv series, I still have yet to catch the movie...instead, I opted for Shangri-La and plenty of pathetic terra cotta souls...sigh...oh, did I mention that the producers should have just left the Mrs O'Connell role to Rachel Weisz to shoulder on instead of casting some unknown Mario Bello who just seemed lost in her chemistry with Mr Fraser? Ok - I'm not gonna spend anyore time than I already did on this year's turkey. One good week with the Joker and another dreadful week with the Emperor...

A month has passed since my resignation and I'm definitely getting bored staying at home, rotting away in hibernation. Yea - been having tea and girly gathering with the chicks but life is just not the same when one is unemployed. Besides the loss of income, one can easily get too comfortable with the idle, hibernation mode and eventually, feels just too lazy to work again in the long term. I'm not saying that I'm a workaholic but yes - I'm a realistic person. No money - no food on the table. Good thing is - I've been attending interviews for the past 2 weeks. I have more or less made up my mind on which offer to accept and may very well recharge my engine by the 3rd week of August. A good package is definitely a must especially in times like these with even a teh china costing a freaking 60 sen - bet the few tiny tea leaves cost less than 1 sen each.

Simmering Taste and a Bloated Tummy

2008-07-28T21:43:00.006+08:00

Steamboat buffet seems to be getting increasingly popular these days amongst Malaysian foodies. First, we have a newly opened eat-all-u-want hotpot at Summit USJ (formerly occupied by El Rancho), located adjacent to Giant Hypermarket and now another equally if not an even better gastronomical offer at Sunway Mentari Park (behind Projet), named Tasty Pot. I personally prefer the latter - its servings and soup options alone already have my greenlights for 2 thumbs up. At a perfectly reasonable price of RM19.90/pax, patrons get to choose from 6 different types of soup. Tasty Pot apparently specialises in Soya soup - being a traditionalist and a not so adventurous foodie ol' me, I've decided to go for the chicken and herbal soup.

Another good reason to dine at Tasty Pot is the free flow of soft drinks and chinese tea, plus an array of side dishes to choose from i.e fried rice, butter prawns, chee cheong fun, chicken curry and the main star - honey laced chicken wings. I feel that the wings are not as good as the ones served by another steamboat mad house situated just a block away from Tasty Pot (I think the restaurant is called Yuen's....)...somehow the honey sauce used lacks a certain shrimpy taste....but the chicken curry is definitely a must try - I can't recall how many glasses of coke and chinese tea needed to tame those explosive curry heat down my throat.

All in all, I find the place serves good food but end of the day, there's really nothing to shout about as it is really difficult to find a truly, unique dining experience with non-generic servings of fishballs, fish paste, egg noodles, sotong balls etc. As a matter of fact, I'm not surprised that all these buffet steamboat establishments buy their raw materials from the same source. I personally think that the only selling recipe in order to retain loyal patrons is in the soup. Tasty Pot fared much better in this department compared to ex-El Rancho. The latter seemed to offer just plain boiling water for soup - a big letdown, if you ask me...I had my trusty soya sauce with me the whole nite... Another very important factor is the chilis....yes - must have loads and loads of variety...

After sniffing around Subang and Sunway for steamboats, my choice pretty much remains with Seoul Garden (formerly known as Seoul Buelgogi - if I get the spelling correct) which is located at Plaza Pantai - am sure you peeps already know which one...I just loved the grilling part...yummy...Oh ya, Johnny's also not bad - my favourite is their chilis - my average portion is at least 2 bowls of chilis - a must! Mix a spoonful in your soup and you'll know what I mean.

Honestly speaking, I'm not a steamboat person but it's still one of the best options to enjoy a good, slow, simmering hotpot meal with family and friends. My favourite?- still the very trusty TAI CHOW!

Why So Serious?

2008-07-25T22:41:00.009+08:00

For the past 2 weeks, I've been showered with rave reviews on the latest Batman installment with special emphasis on Heath Ledger's mesmerising performance as the Dark Knight's creepy, sadistic nemesis. I personally think that the Joker is by far the most villanious and diabolical in comparison with other characters in comic book adaption movies like Spiderman or X-Men. I must say, I was particularly impressed with the late actor's uncanny ability to reinvent the Joker from Jack Nicholson's lame and forgettable version back in the early years - finally doing some justice to the character - thank goodness Mr Nolan decided to sign up the Aussie talent instead. Believe me or not - at most scenes, The Joker actually overshadowed our dear tormented hero - at certain times, the bat seemed to play 2nd fiddle to the clown, poor Bruce...and Harvey Dent's charred face pretty much reminded me of the The Mummy dude. Fine, no more spoilers for those who have yet to catch it. In short, if you haven't already seen DK, go watch it - highly recommended except for its length - 3 hours...go for a Gold Class if you don't wanna have sore knees...Speaking of which, such an excellent talent as Mr Ledger will be sorely missed in many premiers to come...RIP.

Now, DK is the first movie I've watched since my resignation. Yea, I'm a bit slow in getting into the movie-groove. To be frank, I've not watched Hancock nor Wanted yet - not even Indy IV, mind you. Just that I've been feeling rather "sien" sitting at home, submitting resumes and such, I've decided to lift my big fat ass and do something entertaining. Since I don't have enough moolah to splurge on a holiday, I might as well make a trip to the nearest cinema for some mouth watering block-buster, which had been well sold by my friends and critics. This is not my first time catching a movie alone - done that before for Gladiator. That time - whilst drooling shamelessly over Maximus, I had to sit through 3 freakin' hours, sandwhiched between 2 big, fat buffalos for company.

I was definitely wishing for a better experience this time round. Since, it's a workday, I managed to get a centre seat with a good view.....or so I thought. After grabbing a combo of bucket filled popcorn and 100-plus, I proceeded to the hall and place my ass firmly on the seat...Everything was perfect and definitely hoping for the seats beside me to stay empty till the end credits...Gee....Just wishful thinking - Lo and behold, of all the empty seats around, a couple of lovers came over and sat beside me. Apart from carefully placing my legs to avoid a kicking fest throughout the entire movie, I had to endure a funny smell emitted from the dude's armpits everytime he moved. Damn....Damn....I mean - don't these people shower??!!

Good thing the movie is worth every penny...and of course, I just had to complete my day with a scrumptious roti pisang and teh tarik for tea after DK before heading to the gym to burn it off - at least 50% also I'm happy....:) Oh ya, did I mention that I noticed a few movie patrons dressed up in working clothes? Negotiating a sales contract with Mr Bruce Wayne for company? Doubt so....snake! snake!

Numbered Destiny

2008-07-24T22:31:00.007+08:00

After 2 weeks of semi-hibernation at home with doughnuts and lotsa cereals for company, I've decided to be adventurous for a change and met up with a numerologist together with a couple of my ex-colleagues from Maersk. Most of you would know by now - I've always been a skeptic on fortune telling - palm, face reading and other forms of crystal ball predictions. Since I had plenty of time to kill, I've decided to tag along and check out what Ms Numbers had to say about my future.

From my birthdate and name in chinese characters, she did hit a few jackpots in terms of my character and behaviour - a few good and bad points here and there...Yea - didn't deny and concurred on certain traits. I was not entirely convinced until she started speaking in a rather serious tone that I need to change one of the chinese characters to rid myself of bad luck...Wait a minute --- change my name?? My mum would impale me for that! Don't get me wrong - I just took it with a pinch of salt. Changing one's given name by ma and pa is darn serious matter, dude. Not coming across as impolite, I played along with her opinions till the end. Besides changing one of the characters, I can further enhance my "aura" by wearing a pendant bearing the numbers 5 & 7 which signifies focus and support from peers, respectively. The suggestion seemed harmless until I found out about the price for a single piece of diamond crusted pendant - RM5000! Uh-uh...Unless I have an exclusive access to Fort Knox, the idea of weighing my neck with such pricy object is completely out of my league. Any sponsors? hehe...

Well then, I didn't quite complete buy the idea of changing my name nor having the capacity of purchasing the gem so I just got myself unhooked from the situation through the ever polite Malaysian one-liner, "next time first-lah!".

Drove home pondering about the entire session but not before stopping by at LYG Dessert for some dry curry mee and a bowl of pepperish teow chew fish ball soup - scrumptious! Decided to skip my favourite Ribena in milk concoction....since I missed my workout session for the day - less calorie, less guilt...

It was indeed an interesting and engaging session with the numerologist, despite the fact that I do not believe how some numbers and strokes can break and make a person's destiny. Regardless of my beliefs and principles, I still respect every individual's profession and capacities.

After all, end of the day, I still have my faith in the good Lord to guide me through....numbered or not!

Stiff Neck No More but Less RM30

2008-07-21T23:13:00.008+08:00

Ta daaa...Finally bought myself a Phiten necklace for my stiff shoulders. I have been a skeptic long ago on its supposed healing benefits however, after some convincing testimonies from gym instructors, I decided to give it a try and opted for the Sport Necklace. With RM130 poorer, I'm hoping for this fancy looking miracle band to sooth away my stiff, sore shoulders which had been bothering me for the past 3 months.

Well, according to the sales supervisor, the band contains a certain titanium substance which helps to stabilise our body's bio-electric current's erractic "moods" due to excessive work stress. Now, it's a bit scientific....don't ask me how. I tried it on for the first time at Body Pump today and must say, I could feel that my shoulders and neck relaxed quite a bit. Now, that's not exactly phychological to justify my hard earned money well spent, but that is the truth. The pain and stiffness just kinda crept away....Introduced the product to my folks but guess I will have to drag them to the store and let the sales guy do all the convincing and bla-bla-blas...

Oh ya, did I mention that my "spending spree" included a freakin RM30 saman for parking illegally at Menara Axis? I just didn't know what came over me this morning - instead of burning a little more petrol by searching around for a proper parking spot, I (brilliantly) decided to leave my car by the road side and made a quick dash to my former office to collect my long over due cheque. Well, guess I should not have been a deviant and listen to the little voice inside my head to do the right thing - get a proper f***ing bay!!!!!!!!! Darn those little instincts! That RM30 could have easily gotten me 6 servings of mee goreng at my favorite mamak stall...%$#@ (x 10)....

Fairytale Union and Fond Memories

2008-07-20T22:20:00.005+08:00

Time for all glitter and bling-bling show offs with everyone dressed to the nines at Suan and Aaron's fairytale wedding dinner @ Maya Hotel, KL. Not surprisingly as usual, the occassion also served as our Sixth Former's reunion with a bunch of wacky and elegantly stunning ladies - all graduated from our beloved Alma Mater Assunta 14 years ago.

Yup - 14 years and our friendship had never been stronger despite some had reached motherhood with domesticated commitment to a growing family of hubby and bebes. Fortunately, they are still a couple of singles for company with (still) little inklings to the topics of baby diapers, breast feeding and all things mothers would happily chat away - normally oblivious to our poor single friends around. Thank goodness the topics shared had nothing to do with baby poo but rather, a whole lot of updates - mostly on our careers and how job sucked with a little of school days memories thrown in.

Generally, STPM would come across as an education for the nerdy and dorky but our batch of 1994 is an exceptional one. We worked hard and played hard. We were exceptionally naughty, playful, colorful and definitely far from stamping a boring impression of "kayu" and "book worm-ish". Most importantly, we worked hard despite constantly clowning and pigging around at the school canteen. Ahhh....those were the days. No obligations, no worries - just light up the midnight oil and the only known stress is getting sandwiched between big, sweaty buffalos in a freakin' smelly, packed mini bas to KL for tuition...(that is forgettable).

Fast forward 14 years and after a few weddings, we celebrated yet another fairytale union between two beautiful souls who happenend to be my good friends - wishing you both wonderful years ahead, peppered with love, respect and all things spice!

p/s: we just got all so excited when the bride came over to our table with her photographer that we've so intelligently missed out on the opportunity to snap one with our digit babies...well, have to wait till Suan forward THE one with the bride....:((

Strength and Honour, Mate!

2008-07-18T22:03:00.011+08:00

Spent another 3 hours in the early wee morning watching my all time favorite epic movie - Russell Crowe never looked more deserving in his award winning role as the irresistably yummy Roman general-turned-gladiator Maximus, woo hoo! Well, Mr Crowe is not entirely the reason I've watched Gladiator for the 8th time without a tinge of boredom. I've always been hooked on epic movies, especially historical ones - which brings us to another equally captivating Braveheart (with an equally magnetic and dashing Mel Gibson at the helm).

Apart from its story, the exceptionally breathtaking cinematography, props and costumes are good enough reasons for a repeated watch. I could feel as if I've been transported back in time to ancient Rome. Call me dreamy - but I've always wished there's a time machine enabling me to go back in time to whichever centuries I fancy. Being a history junkie since schooldays, my strong facination with ancient times had never ceased and had always wanted to be an Archaeologist (credits to Asterisk and Obelisk for spurring my interest in Gaul and the Roman Empire). However, guess that dream is far from reality now.

Well, sometimes things do not happen for a reason or rather, one's life journey has been heavenly pre-determined once we took the very first breath in this earthly world. We can only look forward to better days ahead and live life to the fullest.

I'm still hoping for a genius scientist out there, though.....mmm...wonder if all ancient Romans are as yummy as dearie Russ..

Look in the Mirror, Please!

2008-07-17T12:38:00.011+08:00

Driving back to Subang was surprisingly torture-free yesterday. Guess the hike in petrol prices has its plus points after all (ok, ok - you may take the gun off my head, please). Well then, while enjoying my rare serenity of cruising on the Fed, I noticed a wonderfully formed set of sun rays delicately dropping from the heavenly sky. For a moment, I just felt that God was telling me to be strong in these times as He has plans to prosper me for a better purpose. Sigh, I just feel that I'm so lost now. I'm praying hard for a miracle to come knocking on my door...p/s: sorry for the somewhat dark pic..I'm not exactly a trained professional photographer on a moving vehicle...

I need all the serenity I can get these days to calm my frustration and rationalise my amusement in reading local news. Apart from the increasingly complicated political climate which I refuse to dwell further - save me another migraine, I can't help but wonder if our country is culturally moving backwards in the name of so-called "social decency".

Take for example the ongoing debate of Chelsea being invited to play in this country. It is not unusual to read news on a certain group of self-proclaimed anti-western radicals would protest over the most trivial of matters in response to any forms of western entities being brought into the country. First, the idea of Chelsea's presence sparked off lame protest in reference to the coach's nationality and now, with a new coach, some people choose to remain in the controversial spotlight by shifting their protest agenda to a certain sponsor - Heineken. Yes - you read it right - Beer - Alcohol. The harmless booze which has been long associated with the moral and social destruction of mankind since the beginning of its brew and what have you, bla bla bla. I'm not exactly into alcohol but the fact that beer being a lame, dorky excuse in protesting the arrival of a soccer giant is ridiculously uncalled for.

Backtracking to several months ago, we had Ms Gwen Stefani who gracefully agreed to respect our so called delicate values by covering up in a popiah-styled costume. Wonder if she would ever return for another gig to get soaked up in her sweat being wrapped up like Queen Nefertiti, when she could allow her skin to breathe easily in say, Vietnam or Singapore without any mumbo jumbo policies on her clothings (and dance moves).

Speaking of dance moves, anyone remember how poor Michael had to improvise his notoriously famous crotch-grabbing jig when he had his stint here several years ago?. Think that was the only time he wore a belt....Guess Ms Knowles knew too well....and therefore %$#@ this and off to Indonesia instead. Respect that! Sigh...don't think Pink would be coming, no? "Who Knew".....

The fact that a certain section of our society had become so obssesed in monitoring western influence, we failed time and again to look at our own backyard. Everyday, we read news of innocent girls being sexually harassed, gross moral erosion in forms of incest, domestic abuse, vandalism, mat rempits, ah longs and the list goes on. We claimed ourselves to be culturally sensitive and constantly in strong critics of western culture influencing our values but then, the laughing stock is that we remained blind to our own social ills creeping into our lives everyday. We keep ourselves so busy on guard against western values but nothing concrete had been addressed to arrest our own pathetic problems. I'm not surprised that such groups who so claimed to be society's so called moral policemen and deemed what they do are justified, are clueless that the whole world are watching and laughing at us - grossly unshameful!

Crappy! These people should just go sell nasi lemak or air tebu and keep their mouths zipped while we enjoy an episode of Sex and the City (uncensored)....we can all learn a thing or two from saucy Samantha, you know. What so XXX about it? Anatomically, it's entertaining ma...That's wonderfully western for you!

Lunch, Yam Cake and a Lousy BC 36

2008-07-16T22:47:00.007+08:00

Food seems to be the main reason why we meet up these days and here we have a friend who just returned from the land of Union Jack who insisted on something local - so we opted for Chopstick Noodle at Midvalley. Dim Sum was great especially the egg tart (Sorry Gulshan, I know you hate the smell but I still wanna sing about it simply because I lurrvve egg tarts!). Lady Gulshan was munching shamelessly away on the BBQ pau. Sorry - no comments since I'm not a porky person.

Time passed too quickly especially when four lovely, stunning ladies were having so much fun picking on each other and acting like 3 year olds, oblivious to the large lunch crowd. Admit it, how often do we let our hair down these days in our pathetic daily grind at the office?

After lunch, Gulshan, Joe and I headed off to do some shopping at the Gardens - not to say that I had a lot of moolah to burn but thanks to my wonderful memory, I've forgotten to pack my socks for gym later in the evening and therefore had to buy a new pair. I just didn't wanna bounce around the class in BC without my socks on - poor lovely toes, u know...

After burning RM15.90 on a pair of Nike socks, I stopped by at Shook's house for some tea and a good chat. We spoke about emotional hunger...mmm...wonder if that has anything to do with my mind constantly straying away thinking about burgers, nasi lemak and McChicken during my RPM classes. After savouring some home made yam cake courtesy of Shook's mum, I headed straight to the gym.

It's been a long time since I did BC and BP back to back and the consequence? My muscles were screamin' in absolute pain!! Think I worked more on BP than BC (for those peeps out there not in the know, BC and BP - Body Combat and Body Pump respectively - what is it? go look it up at http://www.lesmills.com/).

BC 36 is pretty lame - particularly disliked the so-called "zombie" track - felt like I was plucking rambutans from the tree throught the class! Hot blooded new BC instructors are probably pointing the gun at my head for saying this since most of them had been heard enthusiastically praising the "cat claw" action...meowww...yea, rite! I know I've said this a zillon times but again - I personally prefer the old, classic tracks...nothing beats those!

I was particularly craving for something sweet throught the class - headed straight to McD's after a good shower and grab a chocolate sundae - a perfect dessert treat with my mum's home cooked wan tan mee....mmm...think the calories just cost me a BC class.....what the heck - just ice and some harmless cream...and chocolate and....oh well....

Beauty and The Bump

2008-07-15T21:43:00.006+08:00

Venezuela once again marveled the world with its beavies of beauties by producing yet another stunning winner at yesterday's Ms Universe 2008. This year's contestants are nothing short of elegance, beaming with confidence and oozing sensuality throught the show. Not surprisingly, 4 out of 5 finalist rooted from Latin America - the land long associated with exotic beauties, both in its people and culture. USA of course has a spot in the final 10. This is expected - it's such a bore to see USA in the final at all Universe pagents. More so this year - the spot could've been given to a more deserving contestant with better looking features. One wonders if this absolute ruling for USA to be in the final had any political inclinations or purely to respect Mr Trump's contribution towards the organisation.....my 2 cents. Oh, by the way - did I mention that Ms USA slipped and fell (again)? At least she deserved some credits for being composed....hahaha - malu betul!

Watching the flock of beauties with hard rock abs and skinny thighs more or less made me ponder more on my workout regime. Yea, I know I can never own any hard rock abs at the rate I'm eating these days. Just can't seem to dissolve off my freakin' spare tyres %$#@! Besides, after 4 days of RPM classes in a row, I felt as if my legs had been totured ala-medieval style - damn sore! Will give RPM a little break and return to my whacking regime in Body Combat (BC) tomorrow. Have not tried the new BC release...ahhhhh....just simply whack and whallop la! Speaking of which, I've yet to try out my hand wrap bought 4 months ago...guess the wraps do add some oomph to the workout...then again, quite lazy to bungkus before class.

Man...must really cut down on my mee goreng, roti telur....tsk! tsk! tsk!

A New Meaning to Infidelity

2008-07-14T23:47:00.000+08:00

Given the current political mumbo-jumbos in this country, I've decided to start reading the papers from the Sports (back) section instead and then decide if I wanna get emotionally pissed reading local news so tepidly laced with political controversies, conspiracies bla bla bla. Well then, starting my day by reading the Sports section is not so bad after all. At least I get to ogle shamelessly at the athelete's hard rock abs and ridiculously well toned arms, while I munch away roti telur and a glass of milky, creamy teh tarik for breakfast.

One interesting article published in the NST last Sunday really had me pondering about society's morals these days. It's about couples who are willing to exchange partners for sexual pleasures..and they have a name too - "Swingers"....It seems this new "social indulgence" is becoming well accepted in our society these days - yea, in Malaysia. The article had pretty interesting stories, based on so-called confessions or self experience, courtesy of certain "proud" swingers.

Reading the stories, I could not help but think - "where's the morality and purity of a marriage between a man and a woman?". Yea, ok these swingers are made up of consenting adults but having to bear the thought of your spouse making out with another is really too much for me to stomach. Some of them even shamelessly claimed that these sexual orgies are just to spice up their marriage with no emotions attached....yea, right. I cannot comprehend anyone not having mental issues seeing one's spouse walking into a room, skimpily clad, in the arms of another.

I do remember watching a movie back in the 1990s titled "Consenting Adults". If I recall, the movie is about pairs of husband and wife neighbours willing to exchange partners for whatever reasons (not ruling out sexual gratification, of course). I don't remember the ending but the entire idea is certainly not in my books of conduct.

Well then, maybe a certain section of our society thinks it's ok but end of the day - what would the children feel? Ma and Dad had multiple sex partners (and enjoyed it).

Do call me old fashion, whatever....

Brand New Week and....Siew Paus

2008-07-14T16:13:00.000+08:00

I must admit, time seems to pass pretty fast on weekends these days and now, we have another brand new week unveiled - all fresh and uncertain. I'm sure all working folks out there must have been dreading yet another freakin' Monday blues with more work battery and mental issues.

Oh ya, did I mention the increasingly shitty traffic which had been draining me emotionally for as long as I can remember. Need I say more about those aunties with bee-liked sunglasses weaving in and out on the road at John Woo-like slo-mo pace? I'm pretty sure you peeps know what I'm sayin'...

Well then, one brand new day means a brand new errand for moi. Got up early for a good fishball mee breakfast near the old Ruby theatre in PJ with my folks before heading off to SS2 to bungkus some Seremban siew paus (chicken siew paus to be exact - I don't really fancy porky, you see). I shall not dwell further into the fact that the paus had shrunk miserably and cost 10 sen more. Ok! Ok! petrol price increased, ma? So flour cost also increased, lor....Guess we'll soon get siew paus in the size of marbles...Guli Siew Paus - anyone? Not a bad idea - just pop them into your mouth - less mess. Mmmm...maybe I can make some extra moolah and suggest this to the siew pau management...bwahahaha.

An afternoon downpour is definitely the ultimate companion to a sweet siesta at home with equally pretty clear, crystal droplets to greet you when awake. Yup....I know I'm enjoying my break now but will still need to get my feet and hands busy sooner or later. Clock is ticking. Sigh...

Memories of Cardio booty booty

2008-07-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

Finally got my room all dusted and cleaned after more than 9 months playing host to cobwebs, dust, hamster's hair and anything imaginable to someone who never liked the idea of fiddling with a broom and mop. After a couple of hours running through old articles and particles mounted nose deep in one of my drawers, found this old Nike wrist band I bought about 3 years ago.

Ahh...those memories of moi diligently working my ass off at the gym. I do remember the days when my legs would be itching to catch every Cardio Dance class at Fitness First - 7 days a week without fail and losing 12 kgs within 6 months - Shaking those booties and jamming like a Bollywood-extras wannabe *wink* wink*.

Well, those days are long gone now. I can hardly do back-to-back classes these days. Best is just one RPM class a day or maybe, preceeded by Pump. Result? Less gym, a more bloated moi...though my peers opined that I look slimmer these days. Ya - I know I lost weight quite a bit but at the wrong "places"....sob!

Now, where can I find a good banana leaf rice in Subang? hehe....

Lam Mee and Forgettable Fried Hokkien

2008-07-13T17:46:00.000+08:00

What does fuel has got to do with Lam Mee, one might ask? Seriously, it seems that a certain fuel price hike has been THE infamous factor for dearer price tags on food for lesser portion. Just when I felt extremely shortchanged for a pathetic glass of warm chinese tea at 60 sen, I had been served lesser strands of noodles at the same price by my favourite lam mee shop at damansara uptown - yup...why I say "lesser"? The noodles were practically swimming in the gravy with a few shrimps for company. Hardly a lunch treat, i must say.

If lam mee was hardly a bite, the so called famous hokkien fried (also at uptown) is really nothing to shout about. Must say - I've never had such "wet" hokkien fried in my entire life. It was more like having soupy, starchy hokkien fried with equally disastrous sambal belachan to "tantalise" those taste buds. Folks who reccomended me this place has no clue of the famous hokkien fried located at Jalan 222.

Safest bet - go for a McD's burger anytime....Do not recall Ronald selling smaller patties...

A New Dawn Unveiled

2008-07-12T15:19:00.002+08:00

Hi Peeps! I'm back blogging. A lot of you out there may not know that I previously had a blog on my own. It's called "freakyfries". Yeah, I know it sounds pretty lame - could not think of a proper name back then or possibly too hooked on freakin' McCain's fries whilst serving my one month's notice at old (also read as long forgotten) company back in 2006. Tried to log in after a 2 years hiatus but guess the managemnt in blogspot decided to erase a crappy blog name with equally crappy contents! Well, they can't blame me - I was young and naive and running out of ideas. *tsk* tsk*

I always wonder why would people choose to blog about their private lives in the open. Then again, I guess it's not so private after all. Believe me, it can be quite enjoyable reading life's bloopers - may be a friend or stranger - we all have one thing in common - homosapiens generally loved to share and talk non-stop. Moi, no exception.

Since I'm taking a break from the corporate world, I will have more time to spare with this blogging thingy while frantically surfing the net for prospective employer willing to hire a poor soul looking to put some nasi on her table - Anyone??? :))