Traditional Union Challenged

I've just realized how inactive I've been in recent months...not a single entry in September! Perhaps work just got in the way. My daily workload has been increasingly creeping into my social life, more so now that my management has decided that I should be checking my mails on the go by ever so generously sponsoring me a merry Berry. Well then, whilst is it ironically handy to have a mobile mail buckled up in my handbag so that I can attend to emergency cases, I still need to master the art of controlling the morbid urge to check my mails on weekends. Well, I'm getting there...keeping fingers crossed. Like my folks always tell me to stop and smell the flowers more...

In actual fact, work is not entirely the sole reason contributing to my recent passiveness in blogging. I just could not find a good, juicy, meaty topic to blog about. Contrary to others who blog about their daily activities, I prefer to approach each topic selectively. Well, you can say that my life is pretty boring - no juicy, meaty subjects? Yeap...pretty dry, huh? Nonetheless, I have found one to start off my October entries, to rev up the engines once more. Here it goes...

Most of you have probably read this particular article in Starmag, The Star today about gender identity crisis. Now, it's pretty juicy, isn't it? The article basically outlined a couple's journey in trying to embrace the complications and challenges of living out a life which is, well - not so normal per se, as far as this country is concerned, that is. One half of the couple is a trans-man, someone who goes through a period of transition from one gender to another. In this case, the subject was going through a series of stages from a woman to a man. Hormonal treatments and breast removal aside, the article pressed forward the idea that this particular couple defied all odds stacked up against them to live out their dreams - as a pair of normal lovebirds. Along the way, details of their emotional journey are thrown in to color the idea that love transcends physical attributes.

This is nothing new. I remember reading an article of a trans-man heavily pregnant and proudly showing off "his" bump. Needless to say, his publicity invited a series of debates and how such gender transition has form a grey area in our society. Traditionally, we have been brought up carrying the idea that a union is only possible between a man and a woman. These days, we read loads and loads of articles of gender transition, societies and clubs for same sex individuals seeking emotional refuge and to a large extent, news of people challenging mankind's traditional matrimonial pre-requsities for the heterosexuals only.

The world is so blurry these days. Such phenomenon is evident in the western world, no doubt. The whites are ever so vocal and don't really give a hoot about stigmatism. On the contrary, asians are pretty tight-lipped about deviated sexual preference, much less fight for same sex unions. Many fear being ostracised in a traditional society.

Religiously and traditionally, it is neither right nor ethical to blur the boundaries or even challenge the natural law of sexual union. However, with rapid changes in our society's colorful patterns, can one remain steadfast against mankind's ferocious evolution in life's preference or merely give in and embrace the fact that the grey area is here to stay?

As for me, I can't tell 'cos my Blackberry does not have the answer.

New Life and Crossing the One Year Mark

A couple of good news came knocking on my door since my last entry. Firstly, praise the good Lord for my sister's salvation and her commitment to start a new life with Jesus after years spending her faith adrift from the Lord's presence. It's wonderful to see my sister walking solidly in her faith - attending classes for born again Christians, church service on Sundays and of course, her weekly home cell. I'm praying daily for my sister to fully commit herself in her walk with the Lord faithfully.

I believe God has an answer to every heart's desires - only according to His time. How true indeed. I remember the gloomy days in Q2 with struggling sales and coming home every evening contemplating on quitting my job for good. Just when the haunting darkness seemed to envelope my life with little hope of regaining my footing in my sales revenue, God dropped a massive 18,000kg cargo at my doorstep. No doubt, the business propelled my revenue to an all time high record since I joined the company. Although the figures are still in the red, no thanks to the freaking targets, I'm truly thankful for His mercy upon me. I've definitely enjoyed the limelight - the moments spent at the pedestal of praise by the senior management for a job well done!

Yeah...the feeling...what can I say? Truth is, such moments do not come along everyday and now I'm back pondering on the future - yet again. After months of worrying and pondering, I've finally clocked one year serving the company. It's amazing how time flies.I mean - I've just crossed one freaking year slogging it out in the airfreight and express industry. Damn...What can I say? Life goes on and I've yet to find my purpose in what I do. I'm still searching - in and out.

Road Users - Morons In Our Midst

You would have heard of typical mild mannered road users who turned into red-eyed monstrous road bullies and subsequently thrown behind bars for assaulting another driver, be it on the road or at parking lots. I do not write off the fact that many readers would condemn such raging assault on innocent road users by impatient, hot headed drivers., True - no one deserves to be beaten for being at the wrong time and place. However, to a certain extent, I do sympathize with road bullies. Do not get me wrong - I'm not here to condone violent actions and free for all punches and kicks on another fellow being. Rather, take a step back and think again. There is no doubt we are a bunch of nonsensical, pathetic breed of road users - guilty of spearheading the rise of road bullies on the streets every year.

In comparison with 5 years ago, we see an exaggerated increase of cars plying the highways these days. We see more and more of cars with the big, red "P" driven by fresh from-the-oven youngsters or graduates, eager to hit the road with some beauties or hunks by their side. Never mind the monthly installments - rich daddy can take care of that. Driving the big, bad ass car comes first with little regards to traffic rules. Take a stroll to a particular college in town and you will see cars parked haphazardly near the facility, oblivious to other decent road users. Brains for theories but not for practicality. So called for academic achievements and strings of As.

Then you have certain women drivers who are not only a pain in the ass but gets your blood boiling every time you happened to trail them. Being in the same sex category, I cannot take sides here. I do attest to the general notion that women drivers are the worst! Yes, they hog the fast lanes as if their grandmothers owned them and have extremely poor judgment when making turns. Some cannot even tell right from left. Yep - signal left but make a right turn. Stupid is an understatement here. You would be lucky if they ever bothered to signal their turn, expecting every road user to read their empty heads hidden beneath long locks and curly bobs.

Men are equally guilty to certain extent - inconsiderate and "kiasu" - expects everyone to allow them through, queue jumping even if the "hoping" gets them ahead of just another car. Men generally have this uncanny taste for tailgating another car by mere inches as if this act of intimidation could stroke their pathetic ego further for being the king of the road, not knowing such monkey acts would offer them an express mode to the afterlife sooner than expected. A flash of light would normally do to indicate the rush but why the urge to kiss someone's ass? Oh and please don't even mention the slo-mos ah peks who drive as if they are caught in a time zone of the 50's or 60's.

Of course who can forget motorcyclists who constantly think they are bigger than Big Foot - hog the fast lane, swerve dangerously ala Valentino Rossi along the highway meant just for cars and other heavy vehicles? Do not give a shit if you wanna make a turn 'cos they worked their machines as if the word "brakes" is not in their vocabulary? Perhaps the helmets are too tight, blocking much needed sense into their little brains.

Let's not even get into the truck, van and bus drivers.

I do not dispel the fact I have been guilty of traffic offenses in some time of my life however, I do not blatantly cross the line at my whim and fancy like most people do. The road is too barbaric for the ordinary folk these days and do not expect everyone to pull the handbrakes on traffic offenses as such tepid behavior has somewhat became a norm and sadly been accepted as the way of life in this country. Try driving in Singapore - our beloved traffic morons would probably have peed in their pants long ago.

Glorious Weekend

Time is getting increasingly impatient with mankind these days. It takes off like a speeding bullet train everyday and before you know it, another glorious weekend is here once again to lift our weary spirits after working our pants off. Saturdays and Sundays are like nurturing parents who sooth and caress your broken bodies from an abusive work week, sprinkling droplets of serenity and peace onto your body and soul, making you whole again. No heels, no ties, no power suits - just slippers, shorts and oversize tees. We leave our burdens behind in the office and unchain ourselves from the bondage of frustrations and stressors of corporate expectations. We wrapped ourselves in bed, allowing our bodies to heal and rest soundly, serenaded by the sweetness of morning rays. What a beautiful day. Life at its best, no?

Time to Ponder....

The world has yet to embrace the fact that MJ is gone and how sad is the truth that we will no longer see The King of Pop moonwalks up on the stage. I'm not exactly a big fan but I do admit that his sudden demise has brought a certain tear rolling down my cheeks. Such an icon, revered by everyone for his music and showmanship in every bit of his performance before his untimely death. It futher saddened me that MJ was only a simple child trapped in a grown man's body, yearning for a typical life as a normal kid which has eluded him in decades. His death has inevitably dawned upon me that life is...indeed, fragile. When destiny calls, we have no choice but to yield.

The fact that the Gloved One lived a glamorous life filled with loads of cash (before he plummeted into abysmal complications of debts) and had the world in his hands at one point of time, he could not escape his tainted destiny. Who could have thought that someone with a big fat, Swiss bank account would die a miserable soul, marred by debts and multitudes of scandals? Life is unpredictable. How true.

Can you foretell your future? What will happen 10 years from now? I believe that God was trying to show me that life is nothing short of complicated and it is entirely up to me to make my life worthwhile. In the end, I can look back and tell myself that I've owed to myself to seek out happiness, to lead a meaningful life, filled with pleasant memories instead of regrets and bitterness. MJ's death signalled that money does not necessarily bring happiness. No doubt, we need the moolah to put rice on the table but how exactly how much is enough to sustain our livelihood without destroying our sunshines in pursuit of our so called financial stability?

Till today, I've worked my ass off, looking forward to my paycheque every month but am I happy? The answer is very hollow indeed. One of my friends asked me if I've LIVED in the last 10 years. I could not answer him. The years come and go - 10 years, 20 years and now, am into my 34th year. Have I really lived? I can only remember how I spent a big chunk of my life in the last 10 years slogging away for a paycheque - to pay off the bills and satisfy my retail thirst once in a while. But the question - Have I been fair to my inner being? Doing what I loved most? Like MJ, we worked and worked for the dollar bills but ultimately, it is our inner self that reflects the real soul - the untainted self which is not dictated by mainstream behaviour - certainly not by money.

As I write, I feel compelled to change the course of my present route. I really don't want to end up regretting later in life that I've not done adequately to fix my bitterness in the corporate life. Before I know it, the big 40 starts creeping into my life and by that time, it'll be too late for me to look back and say to myself, "I could have done that".

Someone once told me - happiness is in my hands and I owe it to myself. After all, I've slogged my ass in school and uni - all in the name for a better future, not a regrettable one. I may have the opportunity to sit down now and blog this entry. However, with life so unpredictable, can you tell what is going to happen to you tomorrow? MJ certainly couldn't.

Of Lakes and Mountains

I'm finally back to reality after 6 days of bliss, serenity and peace - away from the hustle and bustle of life in KL. My holiday in Guilin, China was nothing short of spectacular with enchanting, picturesque scenery of mountains, beautiful lakes and rivers. Not forgetting the various ethnic groups and aborigines with their huts plying along the renowned Li River. Overall journey into the heart of Guilin has been charmingly unforgettable. Several days of heavy downpour did not damper our spirits in exploring this majestic land of beauty and serenity. Guilin is typically a famous holiday destination for the old folks. Hence, apart from accompanying my parents, I had little expectations of the place. My ideal adventures would be some countries steep in ancient history like Rome, Greece or Egypt. For this reason, I thoroughly enjoyed my previous trip to Beijing. Furthermore, Chinese love to serve porky pork...a disaster to me, needless to say....and oil, loads of 'em...eww...

Our tour made up of 22 members, majority old folks, of course. Surprisingly, they turned out to be pretty active and sporting for their age. We had awesome camaraderie with a couple of old folks - they were funny, chatty and made me feel at ease whenever we chatted. Unfortunately, there's always a rotten tomato in every tour group. This particular family man annoyed me to the skin from the beginning of the tour right till the end. Loud mouth and blowing his trumpet all the time. Crap. Apart from this nonsensical chap, overall tour had been a blast. Kudos to the tour guide who made us feel amazingly at home with her soothing commentaries and personality. A true professional. I'd definitely recommend her to anyone planning on a trip to Guilin.

The highlight of the tour had definitely been the Impressions of Liu Sanje. A remarkable piece of performance staged on a lake and the scenic mountains as the backdrop. The whole piece was choreographed by Zhang Yimou, the same man behind the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony. The show was breathtaking with colorful depictions of the local ethnic groups and their livelihood. Everyone needs to watch it at least once in their lifetime. Left us gasping for more at the end.

Then there's the souvenirs...day by day RMB notes flying off my hand faster than I could say "ni hao"...souvenirs like the aboriginal dolls, bags and key chains are typically hand made by the locals. It didn't cost much to us - averaging from RMB15 to RM30 per set. Worth every penny since it's hand woven...painstakingly.

There's one thing that I've difinitely brought home which is more valuble that souvenirs - lesson in life to be grateful for what I have now. Blessings upon me have been abundant with the love of my family and friends. A good paying job, a car and a roof over my head. Chatting with the locals and observing their hardships in making a meagre living really made me ponder upon my complaints about stress and pressures of work life back in Malaysia. Most of them live in extreme poverty, earning less than a fraction of what's in my paycheque and their stress could level that of mine. So what is my daily problems? I was actually holding back tears when I saw this little girl carrying an unbrella and begging tourists to buy her roses for a mere RMB5 in the rain. Then there's these really old folks flocking to every tourist to buy their locally grown fruits and veggies. A heart wrenching scene. Everyone has their hard times, so they told me. I should remind myself of the blessings I have.

Despite the fact that all of our tour members were eager to return home, I could not get enough of the place. One week is definitely not adequate to explore more. Well then, I guess there will be another time. Until then, it's back to reality for me on Monday and sure hope no more complaints about my freaking job!

He Breathed His Last This Morning

My excitement in anticipation to rock Guilin dissolved like ice cubes in hot boiling water this morning as I took one or my pet hamsters to the vet. It looked as if some %$#@* bacterias have been happily chewing up part of his face. He looked terribly sick and could hardly move. Vet told me that the poor chap had to be put to sleep. Too painful for him to live on. I had no choice but to give in. My sister decided not to witness him breathing his last. She walked out of the room but I decided to stay on. He had his last meal pior to his fateful moments. The vet's assistant pinned the poor chap down to the surgical table to limit his movements. The vet then quickly injected some lethal solution into his beating heart. Within seconds, my poor little friend started vomiting blood and laid motionless on the table. After several faint heartbeats, it was all over for him. RIP. Needless to say, I was fighting back tears. Hamsie has been with me since last year and it is terribly heartbreaking to see him walk away like that. Age caught up with him but those freaking bacterias precipitated his demise. We wrapped him up in newspapers and took him home, along with an empty cage. My remaining 5 hamsters must be wondering the whereabouts of their pal.

No doubt, there's pain in witnessing the process. I could have walked away like my sister did but I just wanted to be there for him....his last moments on earth. Hamsie has been an incredibly gentle and cute to the core. Despite his size, he's never bitten me. We called him a gentle giant. Well then, I guess in every living, breathing being, there's a shelf life. Just like us. Death is constant, so they say. How true it is. We cannot fight it but we can at least live our lives to the fullest. I know Hamsie did, despite his last painful moments.

Rest In Peace, my friend.